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WEEKLY WHINE

64 other names

GoobNet welcomes you to the following message to Dan Snyder.

Dan Snyder, you own a professional American football team based in the vicinity of Washington, DC, USA. Please stop.

Failing that, please stop using an offensive term in the name of the team. You have repeatedly stated that the team’s name is “intended” to honour Native Americans. We once again remind you that it is not doing so.

You are likely to make a nonsensical argument about “political correctness gone mad” or something of the sort. We once again remind you that this is not what political correctness means. You should change the name of your team for business reasons: the team’s current name is alienating millions of your potential customers. And these are not merely Native Americans. All honest, hard working Americans who have honestly worked hard to build a functioning society have taken offence at this name.

You are likely to whine that there are no other appropriate names. Please stop doing that too, because this is our Weekly Whine. You may whine on your own website. If you choose to do so, please do so only after changing the name of your team to one of the following names that the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] came up with whilst Wen was reheating her rice.

  1. Washington Warriors
  2. Washington Sentinels
  3. Washington Hail
  4. Washington Generals
  5. Washington Presidents
  6. Washington Senators
  7. Washington Representatives
  8. Washington Lawyers
  9. Washington Lobbyists
  10. Washington Elites
  11. Washington Latte Liberals
  12. Washington Old Greedy Conservatives
  13. Washington Constitutional Law Lecturers
  14. Washington Residents Who Have No Vote in Congress
  15. Washington Deficits
  16. Washington Yes Men
  17. Washington Smithsonians
  18. Washington Musea
  19. Washington Philosoraptors
  20. Washington Burgundies
  21. Washington Greens
  22. Washington Reds
  23. Washington Indigos
  24. Washington Clash
  25. Washington Mutiny
  26. Washington Rebels
  27. Washington Alliance
  28. Washington X Wings
  29. Washington Tie Fighters
  30. All Your Footballs Are Belong to Washington
  31. W@$#1ng+0n Pwnage
  32. Washington Admirals
  33. Washington Colonels
  34. Washington Lieutenant Colonels
  35. Washington Majors
  36. Washington Captains
  37. Washington Lieutenants
  38. Washington Commodores
  39. Washington Commanders
  40. Washington Lieutenant Commanders
  41. Washington Ensigns
  42. Washington Conquistadors
  43. Washington Navy SEALs
  44. Washington Satellites
  45. Washington Tandys
  46. Washington Art Gallery Security Guards
  47. Washington Avant Garde Postmodernists
  48. Washington Mud Cats
  49. Washington Lookouts
  50. Washington Calculators
  51. Washington Peeps
  52. Washington Eagles
  53. Washington Cowboys
  54. Landover Shoppers
  55. Landover Wizards
  56. Landover Wiz
  57. Washington Entities
  58. Sporting Washington
  59. Washington Arsenal
  60. Snyder’s Old Boys
  61. Potomac Juniors
  62. Washington People Whose Skins Come in a Wide Variety of Shades and Tones, Which Is Totally Okay and In Fact Beneficial As It Offers the Potential for a Vast Range of Viewpoints to be Heard and Exercised
  63. Saw No Thing Anagram Enthusiasts
  64. FC GoobNet

GoobNet thanks you for reading this message to Dan Snyder.

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