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FILLING YOUR NON-SEQUITUR NEEDS SINCE 1997

WEEKLY WHINE

Your feelings are important

Cuba, birthplace of democracy. That's right, today residents of Cuba are voting for their National Assembly members. There are 609 seats up for election, and as it happens, a total of 609 candidates are running. This is a brilliant masterstroke by the Cuban government, which has finally recognised the importance of the people's voice.

Needless to say, we here at GoobNet think that this type of election would come in handy in many other circumstances. Witness:

UNITED STATES

Should the United States go to war with Iraq?
Yes
Select a president:
George Bush 1.0
George Bush 2.0
Should the United States obey United Nations resolutions?
No
Of course not
United Nations? What's that?
The Super Bowl should take:
At least four hours
Do the Lakers suck?
Yes
Yes. And Kobe's a ballhog too

UNITED KINGDOM

Should Wembley Stadium be rebuilt?
Yes
Yes, as expensively as possible
Should national ID cards be required?
Yes
Yes, but only if they have cool holograms

CHINA

Should China fly humans in space?
Yes
Select a starting centre for the Western Conference at the NBA All-Star Game:
Yao Ming

FOOTBALL

Select a FIFA president:
Sepp Blatter
Sepp Blatter
Should the defending World Cup champions qualify automatically for the next tournament?
No
No way
Should red card suspensions be subject to appeal?
No
Are you crazy? That would be anarchic!

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