WEEKLY WHINE

Strikes and balls

Be honest. When you first heard that Baghdad was being assaulted by the US military, what was the first thing you did? Telephone your spouse? Rush to a protest? Turn on the news? Sit sideways on a bicycle? Write in to GoobNet?

Believe it or not, that last option is what many people in fact did. That was probably the most useless course of action that they could have taken, but they went ahead and took it anyway. But because of them, we're going to have to risk atmospheric contamination by entering the GoobNet Mailbox to see what you had to say about the start of the war for Iraq. To the tune of REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It [And I Feel Fine]":

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Does George W Bush have any patience at all? Iraq was cooperating with the weapons inspectors, and things were actually going well. This is an unjust war. - Nube Richardson, Dukakis, NJ, USA

No, it seems that Bush is lacking patience. Nobody knows why - it may be related to the fact that he always got everything he wanted in his childhood. Now he wants someone of his choosing in charge of Iraq.

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Do the peaceniks have any perception at all? The Iraqi population are horribly oppressed under Saddam Hussein. This is a just war. - Lube Richardson, Dukakis, NJ, USA

No, it seems there are many sides to this situation. After all, Saddam Hussein did pardon nearly all prisoners being held in Iraq in OCT 2002, a week after he was reelected as president with 100% of the vote on a 100% turnout.

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What's the difference between Chicago and Iraq? - Al Mikaledis, Sparta, Greece

I don't know. What is the difference between Chicago and Iraq?

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About half a million fixed ballots! Ha ha ha! - Al Mikaledis, Sparta, Greece

That was actually better than most of the jokes we receive.

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Here's another one: What's the difference between the United States and a self involved nation that sees the world as its battleground? - Al Mikaledis, Sparta, Greece

I think I see where this one's going, but okay. What is the difference between the United States and a self involved nation that sees the world as its battleground?

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There is no difference! Ha ha ha! - Al Mikaledis, Sparta, Greece

Should have quit whilst you were ahead.

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Wasn't it really odd to see footage of the attacks on Baghdad? Didn't it feel like a time warp? Will the war really be as short as they think? Are they going to help rebuild Iraq? Are they going to do as good a job as they are in Afghanistan? - Alvinda McManus, Finchal, El Salvador

Yes. Yes. No. Yes. We can only hope so.

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I'm not yet shocked and awed by the United States military showoff session. I would like more bombings, especially on locations that were believed to be chemical weapon construction facilities but turn out not to be. - Nassr Douviaf, Sana'a, Yemen

Shut up.