National pride and other misconceptions

Malaysia recently put out a new remix of their national anthem. And it sucks.

At least, that's what a large majority of Malaysians are saying about it. Anthems are a tricky thing. France and Brazil have good ones. The UK has a pretty good one, as does Trinidad and Tobago. As for the US's anthem ... well, what can you say about a national anthem that was built by uniting a fairly lame poem with a drinking song?

Some nations need to get with the programme and introduce more profitable anthems. And if they won't do it themselves, the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] will do it for them.

AUSTRALIA

Artist: The Crocodile Hunter
Title: "Crikey!"

It's a lovely December
And one thing to remember
Is that these strange animals
Are our best friends

Right! One bite
Could prove fatal!
But if we don't track them
Who will?

We're Aussies!
Our wildlife is great!
And we never put
Our friends in a crate!

MÉXICO

Artist: Andrés Cantor
Title: "¡Goooooooooooooooooooooool!"

Cien mil espectadores
En el Estadio Azteca
Todos nosotros queremos ver
Un juego en la cancha seca

¡Goooooooooooooooooooooool!
¡Goooooooooooooooooooooool!
¡Blanco con un
Tiro que no es común!
¡Goooooooooooooooooooooool!
¡Goooooooooooooooooooooool!

RUSSIA

Artists: Tatu
Title: "Space Is Ours"

Look at you
You're so lame
So quick back to
The planet from which you came

Micrograv is a blast
With our future and our past
We'll beat your ass
A year looking through glass
At all your greening grass

You don't even know!
Where you wanna go!
We got some ideas!
How about maybe Venus!
Or Luna or Mars!
How about to the stars!
Drive your stupid cars!
Because space is ours!

UNITED STATES

Artists: Christina Aguilera, Madonna, Britney Spears
Title: "Liplock"

Mmmmph
Mmmm mm mmmmmph

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