WEEKLY WHINE

Lines everywhere

Have you been keeping up with the Joneses?

No?

Well, good. They're not good people up with whom to keep. But anyway, have you been concerned with what's going on in various sports this past week? Some of you have, and as evidence, we offer the GoobNet Mailbox. Just be careful not to look at it with any eyes that are important to you.

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Why is Italian football in such a mess? - Selma Haljaccio, Torino, Italy

Eh, Italian football's fine. It's been through worse.

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No way! You're in denial! You heard about the last three FIGC presidents who are being investigated for favouritism, right? - Sally Haljaccio, Torino, Italy

Yes, the current president of the Federazione Italiana Giuoco Calcio - the Italian Football Federation - and his two predecessors are being investigated. Some say that there's an institutional bias in favour of Lazio. But with Italian football, isn't this just par for the course? Remember, the same guy who runs AC Milan is running the entire country. No conflict of interest there. No sir.

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Won't it be so great to see the Yankees and the Devil Rays play in Japan next week? It will be excellent! - Tojio Kenishi, Sapporo, Japan

Woo. The Yankees and the Devil Rays. Way to thrill the Far East. What, were the Tigers busy? Yeah, that'll be a thrilling pair of games. 18-2, anyone? Maybe the Rays will even get three runs across.

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So is it good or bad for the NFL to start letting in youngsters like Maurice Clarett? - Chad Pendington, Seattle, WA, USA

Psh. Maurice is no good. Let the Bengals or someone take him.

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So the Yankees must be eager to be visiting Japan, eh? It should be a good time for all concerned. - Nick Albrad, Hartford, CT, USA

Yes, especially since the Yankees are reportedly receiving a stipend of US$40,000 each for the trip. Just like Man United or Real Madrid, they're visiting faraway lands with bling on their minds.

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But the Devil Rays will be making money for this trip, too, right? - Laurette McChancey, St Petersburg, FL, USA

Yep. They're being compensated for the two home games that this trip replaces. Hmm. Lost revenue from two average Tampa Bay home games. What would that be? US$2.50?

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So how's the GoobNet bracket looking? - Mark Laurence, Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA

Like a bunch of horizontal and vertical lines, I guess. I dunno.

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Ha ha! Sounds like someone wagered on a Stanford-St Joseph's final! - Mark Laurence, Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA

Shut up.