WEEKLY WHINE

Better get used to it

Many of you may often have wondered why there's so much uncertainty around these days. Well, don't forget that uncertainty serves only to benefit itself. And horoscope authors.

That's right, whenever you see a horoscope in your newspaper, it's just a cheap attempt at making money. And money makes its own luck, as they say. The conclusion is clear: your success in life has nothing to do with what those crazy astrologers say. It has everything to do with which team you're supporting at Euro 2004.

Remember: If you don't like your prediction, go start a riot and get your team thrown out.

GREECE
You have a tendency to start late and finish even later. That's great for you, but there might be some other people you know, like maybe some athletes, who would want you to change things around. Your lucky day is tomorrow.

SPAIN
You also have a tendency to start late, although it's not because of procrastination. Rather, you just prefer to avoid doing things during the daylight hours. Which is just fine, as long as you're able to encourage others to see things from your point of view as well.

PORTUGAL
You may have had plenty of people over at your house for some fun and some "whimsy", but your aspirations of greatness are now slipping away from you. Your neighbour is nearly about to do something that may leave you excluded from your own party, which means that you'll have to sit around on the couch staring at other people doing fun stuff. Feels kind of familiar, doesn't it?

FRANCE
You feel less silly right about now than you did about two years ago. In fact, right about now you feel kind of as you did about four years ago, and about six years ago. Your lucky number is anything greater than zero.

ENGLAND
You've got luck on your side, as indicated by the way you can sometimes make things bounce off other things - or even people. But in future, try not to make things bounce off people, because sometimes things will stick to them. A better choice would be to turn your shirt inside out, even if you promised you'd never do that.

SWEDEN
You have a tendency to do something, and then do it again one minute later. Your lucky iteration is the third one.

DENMARK
You often feel overlooked because you have more prominent neighbours. But don't let it depress you, because whilst they have their ups and downs, you have your sidewayses. Your lucky moon of Uranus is Miranda.

ITALY
You like to avoid having to do things whenever you have the opportunity. The problem is, this week you won't have the opportunity. Don't be afraid to make an attempt at overpowering someone. Be willing to let your voice be heard.

CZECH REPUBLIC
You have a friend you always see, over and over and over and over and over again. But lately it seems you've been getting more enjoyment out of your meetings. Don't feel bad about that. Instead, be proud of what you've accomplished and try to work on how you can accomplish more.

GERMANY
You like big shiny things. You almost got a big shiny thing a couple of years ago, but you didn't get it done in time.

NETHERLANDS
You have a friend you always see, over and over and over and over and over again. But lately it seems you've been getting less enjoyment out of your meetings. Don't feel bad about that. Instead, be proud of what you've accomplished and try to work on how you can accomplish more.

LATVIA
You feel out of place.