|71||Men’s World Cup|
|21||Women’s World Cup|
MON 25 SEP 2017
“And if they think we’re going to equip them with helmets or flak jackets, they have another thing coming.” Pay close attention to all announcements from Wen’s office in The End of Ambiguity.
MON 14 DEC 2015
“But that’s totally not the same thing.” Enjoy equality without identicality as you Help the 2016 Men’s European Championship.
MON 22 SEP 2014
“That was probably a miscalculation on your part, but still, thanks.” Avoid making the same mistake that Jack Warner made in European Football: ARRRGH!.
MON 18 JUN 2012
“But how much do you know about this European Championship, and the thirteen that have been played previously?” Expect the inevitable question about Lev Yashin in Fastest Finger Fest: UEFA European Championship Edition.
MON 15 AUG 2011
“Eight European nations were selected randomly for our team of prognosticators.” See who is going to stop Aberystwyth Town [everyone] in Far from Unlikely.
MON 11 JAN 2010
“And you don’t even want to know what we’re going to do to them if they fuck this one up too.” Cower in fear at the prospect of what actions we might take in Clear to Everyone Who Deserves a Second Chance.
MON 14 SEP 2009
“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the group and elimination phases of the 2009-10 UEFA Europa League [formerly the UEFA Cup].” See why Galatasaray are sure to be disappointed in Clear to Everyone.
MON 01 SEP 2008
“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the teams’ final positions in several major European football leagues.” Enjoy the total accuracy and foreknowledge of the upcoming results of 26 different leagues in Wholly Evident.
MON 09 APR 2007
“Don’t be a donsiblee. Drink responsibly.” Take advice from someone who won’t take it from others in Supporters On Patrol.
SUN 05 FEB 2006
"Carew will contemplate this information, and then say, 'Ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka-wolka gam-gam-gam-gam ooba-ooba nai-nai-nai wolka...'." Don't be the one to miss Silly Noise Saturday in I Call It the HMS Modesty.
SUN 12 JUN 2005
"Yeah! More TV money for us!" Know where your priorities really are in You'll Never Bitch Alone.
SUN 21 NOV 2004
"The Fascist Communications Commission - I mean the Federal Communications Commission - is reportedly reviewing the complaints to decide whether to begin an investigation." Defeat hypocrisy in bureaucracy in No Winners.
SUN 17 OCT 2004
"Meanwhile, Tomáš Rosický scores three goals, all on headers, and Marek Heinz adds two, both on assers." Find convenient way to make use of rarely needed body parts in Living to Suck Another Day.
SUN 20 JUN 2004
"You feel out of place." Make an attempt to adjust to new surroundings in Better Get Used to It.
SUN 25 JAN 2004
"Does the Pope wear boxers or briefs?" Challenge yourself to silly trivia in First of the Mohicans.
PLEASE SEND ALL PUTRID FILTH TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2019 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: MON 08 APR 2019 – 12:00:00 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.158 SECONDS