WEEKLY WHINE

That's my squid!

Well, earlier this week, an adult giant squid was photographed at depth for the first time. You were impressed by that, weren't you? Of course you were. And if you weren't, we'll have to escort you from this website.

Okay, for those who are still here, the squid was snapped at a depth of more than 900 metres last year. Tsunemi Kubodera and Kyoichi Mori lowered a bait with a camera and waited for a squid to show up. They found one about eight metres in length, which then got a tentacle caught on the jig. And as a bonus, they got to keep a five metre fragment of the tentacle.

So what did you have to say about this? Some stupid things. So secure your gas masks as we take a look in the GoobNet Mailbox.

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I always knew giant squids were real, but everyone claimed they were a myth. I showed them. – Roger Fluppert, Victoria, BC, Canada

Yeah, whatever. We already knew giant squids existed. A young one was filmed earlier. Get with the programme.

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I heard they got a tentacle from the giant squid, and it was still alive when they put it on the boat. That was awesome. – Chris Gaorminchula, Montauk, NY, USA

Yes, it was. Apparently it tried to grab on to stuff. But still no word on whether it liked heavy metal.

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I heard the giant squid documentary industry is booming. Can I get in on the action? – Billy Raunapol, Iowa City, IA, USA

Sure. Send a check for US$300,000,000 to GoobNet Enterprises, Inc. That's right, just address it "GoobNet Enterprises, Inc". It will get to us. We promise.

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Was it a male or a female giant squid? – Yuko Tsirogi, Niigata, Japan

We don't know. Which would you prefer?

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I'm going to make millions in the giant squid porn industry. – Larry Blint, Peoria, AZ, USA

That's vomitacular.

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How do you bait a giant squid? – Samantha Falcão, Ponte Preta, RS, Brazil

I don't know. How do you bait a giant squid?

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With a common squid! Ha ha ha ha! – Samantha Falcão, Ponte Preta, RS, Brazil

You may not have gotten The State down there in Brazil, so let's just summarise: Anything that isn't true is funny, but anything that is true isn't funny.

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See? I told you giant squids were real! Let's send them to find the Loch Ness Monster too. – Glenn Hypeagle, Aberdeen, Scotland, UK

Shut up.