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WEEKLY WHINE

From toffee apples to toffee permits

This week, Michael Sessions was elected as mayor of Hillsdale, MI, USA. The thing is, Sessions is eighteen and still in high school. But he ran a successful writein campaign, winning by only two votes. Sessions wants to attract investment to the town of 8,200 citizens and will continue to attend school during his term.

Naturally, that seemed to excite a lot of you. But unfortunately, you insisted on telling us how you felt about it, disregarding our insistence that we don't care how you feel. Even so, we're going to turn this one over to you, so try to suppress that gag reflex as we go deep, deeper than we've ever gone before, into the GoobNet Mailbox.


I ran for mayor when I was eighteen. Our town had one traffic light, and it had to be powered by a generator. It was my job to sit by the generator all day and all night turning the crank to power the light. Nobody voted for me because they didn't want me to abandon my post as the traffic light generator cranker. – Scott Tellurium, Oakdale, NV, USA

Who knew we would actually learn something in this edition of the mailbox?


So what about that eighteen year old mayor? How did he earn his campaign money? Did he get contributions from the special interest group located at the video game arcade? Ha ha! – Mike Glasnost, Staten Island, NY, USA

His campaign money, totalling US$700, came from his summer job. He sold toffee apples.


Wouldn't you like to see more politicians use their summer job money to fund their campaigns? – Brett Hanson, Atlanta, GA, USA

Yes. Especially George W Bush. Karl Rove would advise him to get a job as a Fortune 500 CEO.


I would like to offer George W Bush a summer job here in Tehran selling clothing from my market stall. He would learn a great deal about our culture. – Ala Enevitia, Tehran, Iran

We'll pass that along.


I approve of him. He's showing a drive to succeed uncommon for those of his age. – Ingrid Hyven, Cardiff, Wales, UK

Fine, but we don't think you're eligible to count in his approval rating.


Is he a Republican or a Democrat? – Lisa Schuster, Olympia, WA, USA

Unspecified.


What does he plan to do for us in Hillsdale? – Lurleen Fabregas, Hillsdale, MI, USA

He plans to motivate people and reduce the numbers moving out. Didn't he ever visit your doorstep? It seems like he knocked on everybody else's door in your town.


Hey, I'm eighteen and I was elected mayor too! – Christopher R Seeley, Linesville, PA, USA

Shut up.

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