WEEKLY WHINE

Our rapidly expanding media empire

That's right, we here at GoobNet are at the forefront of something big. The services we provide are continually being improved, altered, and increased. No doubt you will recall the recent announcement of our new 24 hour news network, the GoobNet 24 Hour News Network.

But we are now proud to announce the official new name of our network: GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television. [Boring News Network was taken.]

This network will begin airing just as soon as our high powered graphics workstations finish up our spectacular introductions for each of these continuing stories that we'll be covering.

2006 THAILAND COUP
When the cat's away, the tanks will play

THE RECOVERY
Select natural disaster: Tsunami, Katrina, Tommy Cruise visit, other

2006 JAPAN ELECTIONS
Who's in charge here?

PERFORMANCE ENHANCERS
Now you know why baseball caps are adjustable

2006 US ELECTIONS
America's choice: The assholes or the pussies

WORLDWIDE OBESITY
The incredible growing humans

SPINACH OF DEATH
Call your mother and say, "See? Told you!"

GENERIC ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
If you're seeing this graphic at all, it can only mean one thing: Keira Knightley to appear on The L Word!