WEEKLY WHINE

The respect sponsors deserve

Remember last week, when we told you how well Drew Carey is doing as the new host of the American version of The Price is Right? If not, it was only a week ago. We suggest you check with your doctor and adjust the levels of your medications.

For those of you who do remember, it was fairly controversial. And we mean that in the modern sense: the sense that any old idiot who has a barely cogent opinion can write in to a website and be heard just as well as the most highly developed debater.

Unsurprisingly, we here at GoobNet tend to get more of the former. So, don this protective headgear, which is made up of a crash helmet made from a hollow coconut, a set of headphones that more resembles bricks, and a pair of metre-thick glasses. It’s time to open up the GoobNet Mailbox and see what you, the friendly GoobNet reader [okay, maybe that’s an oxymoron], thought about what we thought about Drew Carey.

I have now lost all faith in GoobNet. I can’t believe you actually think Drew Carey is better than Bob Barker. Bob was the master of building anticipation, and he doesn’t have an annoying laugh.

– Felicity Mayfair
Grand Marsh, FL, USA

We are shocked that you had any faith in us to begin with. That was not our intention.

Okay, we’ll grant that Bob was better at revealing prices. But if you think that Drew’s laugh is annoying, please turn on your television set at 08:00 local time and change to Lifetime.

You left out Line Em Up! Drew always screws that game up! How hard is it to say, “Line them up so that the price of the car reads from top to bottom”?

– Bryan Entonnous
Urbana, IL, USA

We didn’t think he was that bad at that game. He does explain that, though indirectly, by pointing out that the various small prizes contain the second, third, and fourth digits.

Thank you for that wonderful article about Drew Carey. You are exactly right about everything, except everything that you were wrong about. The Shazam thing is not funny. It is irritating. Don’t say that it’s funny, because it isn’t.

– Walter Gandalback
Needham, MA, USA

Put your hand on your monitor.

Say “Shazam”.

Nope, your comment is still stupid.

Drew did a great Halloween episode. Let’s hope they do an Easter episode too.

– Ellis Maysfair
Dedham, MA, USA

Putting aside the stumbling block about Easter falling on Sundays, our only concern is the type of accent that Rich would do.

Drew Carey is so awesome! I want him to father my children!

– Shelley McGarech
Saskatoon, SK, Canada

If you would like Drew Carey to father your children, send your request, including the number of children you would like and the date you wish him to attend, along with a self addressed stamped envelope, to The Price is Right Paternity Department.

That’s right, just address it “The Price is Right Paternity Department”. It will get to them. We promise.

Drew should never make fun of the products. They’re valued sponsors, and if he wants to keep the show on the air, he should treat them with the respect they deserve.

– Samuel Recheche
Ozark, MO, USA

For one thing, saying “and all the other stuff” about a showcase is not making fun of it. The showcases contain lots of stuff, and you cannot expect Drew to keep track of everything that was in each showcase. Furthermore, many of the small items and grocery items are not sponsored, which means he can say whatever the hell he likes provided that he does not cross the boundary into libel.

In any case, if a company wants to pull their product from The Price is Right just because Drew said something like “Rich, tell us what the heck that thing is”, they didn’t deserve any respect in the first place.

Okay, Drew’s thing about when the item up for bids has a little thing that comes with it is getting really annoying. We all know that you can eat Oreos when you’re watching your home theater! You don’t need to tell us, Drew!

– Daryl Callbright
Annapolis, MD, USA

Okay then. A painting and Crisco. What’s the connection?

They both contain oil, obviously.

– Daryl Callbright
Annapolis, MD, USA

Shut up.