WEEKLY WHINE

The world as of the present moment in time

As you know, news is very important to the world and is critical to your understanding of the world around you.

Unfortunately, most television news networks are unable to help you understand the world around you. Most of them are only able to help you understand who won on some useless reality programme or what it’s like to have a lightning strike course through your body.

That’s why we here at GoobNet are in the business of a television news network. Ours is vastly superior to any other television news network that you will ever see, and not just because we cover topics that actually matter, as opposed to some guy who was mistakenly charged too much money on a bill, a story that was apparently first broken by The Onion.

But when you turn on the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network, you will see live programming via satellite that uses television. And what’s more, this live programming via satellite that uses television uses television to broadcast via satellite to you live programming about topics that are critical to the world around us and will affect humanity for generations.

BALI CLIMATE CONFERENCE
Hey, you’d better cut your emissions, or else... um...

TURKEY VS KURDS
The country with more politicial rivalries than Serie A

US PRESIDENTIAL RACE
Spending two years looking forward to the next president? That’s how bad the current president is

PAKISTAN EMERGENCY ENDS
Just in time for a bird flu outbreak

BOLIVIAN AUTONOMY CRISIS
We’re taking the kids [ie, the natural resources] with us

MITCHELL REPORT
What do you mean you need evidence?

CASSINI AT SATURN
Rotation periods, sodium, and ring particles, oh my

SPICE GIRLS REUNITED!
Welcome back, Scary, Sporty, Happy, Dopey, and Sleepy