WEEKLY WHINE

Change we can kick off to

On SAT 28 FEB 2009, the International Football Association Board meets in Northern Ireland to discuss several footballing topics. Here now are recommendations on each proposal from the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED].

LAW 1: THE FIELD OF PLAY

Proposal [FIFA]: Amend Law 1, Section 1, Paragraph 3, Sentence 1, Word 36 from “Artificial” to “Football”.

Purpose: FIFA renamed the “FIFA Quality Concept for Artificial Turf” to the “FIFA Quality Concept for Football Turf”.

Recommendation: Accept, but make clear to FIFA the potential for confusion when programmes are arbitrarily renamed.

LAW 3: THE NUMBER OF PLAYERS

Proposal [SFA]: Append in Law 3, Section 2, Paragraph 1 a new Sentence 2: “In the event of extra time being required to determine the winner of a match, the maximum substitutes allowed for each team will increase to 4 in such circumstances.”.

Purpose: Ease the burden on teams and players when extra time is played.

Recommendation: Reject. Instead, the global football community should finally get off its ass and try to reduce, not increase, the number of matches played.

LAW 4: THE PLAYERS’ EQUIPMENT

Proposal [SFA]: Append in Law 4, Section 2, Paragraph 1, Bullet 3 new Words 2-20: “– if tape or similar material is applied externally it must be of the same main colour as the stockings”.

Purpose: Ensure that the stockings still appear to be the same colour even when covered with tape.

Recommendation: Accept. If a team can afford to slather tape all over the stockings, it can afford to get a marker in its colour.

LAW 7: THE DURATION OF THE MATCH

Proposal [FIFA]: Amend Law 7, Section 2, Paragraph 2, Sentence 1, Word 7 from “15” to “20”.

Purpose: “Certain stadiums around the world” have a lengthy walk from the pitch to the locker rooms.

Recommendation: Reject, and make clear to FIFA that when submitting change proposals to the IFAB, the stated reason must not be a bare assed lie. If FIFA really wants this amendment, it should submit again with its real reasoning: “It has become clear that five extra minutes of commercials during match broadcasts can boost advertising revenue”.

LAW 11: OFFSIDE

Proposal [FIFA]: Amend Interpretation of Law 11, Section 2, Paragraph 2 from “If a defending player steps behind his own goal line in order to place an opponent in an offside position, the referee must allow play to continue and caution the defender for deliberately leaving the field of play without the referee’s permission when the ball is next out of play.” to “Any defending player leaving the field of play for any reason without the referee’s permission shall be considered to be on his own goal line or touchline for the purposes of offside until the next stoppage in play. If the player leaves the field of play deliberately, he must be cautioned when the ball is next out of play.”.

Purpose: Clarify the judgements and actions to be taken in this circumstance.

Recommendation: Accept, but make clear to all involved parties that some means of simplifying Law 11 must be found.

PART 18: PROCEDURES TO DETERMINE THE WINNER OF A MATCH OR HOME-AND-AWAY

Proposal [FAW]: Append in Part 18, Section 2, Bullet 16, Sentence 1 new Words 60-69: “, the player who is excluded must not be the goalkeeper”.

Amended Proposal [FIFA]: Append in Part 18, Section 2, Bullet 16 a new Sentence 2: “Any player so excluded may not participate in kicks from the penalty mark.”.

Purpose: None given.

Recommendation: Reject both proposals. Reject FIFA’s proposal because it already follows from the definition of the word excluded. Reject the FAW’s proposal because 1] it creates a run on sentence, and 2] the Laws of the Game should not prevent a team from being stupid by excluding its goalkeeper from a penalty shootout.

PART 19: THE TECHNICAL AREA

Proposal [FIFA]: Amend Part 19, Paragraph 2, Bullet 5, replacing Words 13-23 “and he must return to his position after giving these instructions” with new Words 13-16 “from the technical area”.

Purpose: Avoid unnecessary conflicts between the match officials and team officals by permitting one to occupy the technical area at any time.

Recommendation: Accept. Show me a coach who hasn’t violated that rule, and I’ll show you a coach who isn’t doing his job.

ALL PARTS

Proposal [FIFA]: New graphics throughout the Laws of the Game.

Purpose: Establish a uniform style of Laws of the Game graphics, to be used in other materials and courses.

Recommendation: Accept, assuming they aren’t completely ugly.

OTHER ITEMS

Item [IFA]: Assess interest in the use of sin bins, also called penalty boxes, for players infringing the Laws of the Game.

Recommendation: Worth a shot. Has certain drawbacks: can’t be used for goalkeepers, not an effective deterrent in the final moments of a match. Will require significant amounts of discussion to determine which types of offenses are worthy of blue cards.