WEEKLY WHINE
Here is GoobNet’s team by team review of the American Capture the Flag League’s 2008-9 regular season, along with a preview of the 2009 Flag Final between the Irony and the Fermions, which opens at 00:00 UTC on FRI 17 APR 2009.
The mythical phoenix was reborn from its own ashes. This Phoenix flag capturing team should set itself alight in hopes of repeating the feat. A string of seven consecutive matches without a win damaged their chances beyond repair.
Record: 3-1-9 [10 pts]
In their second season, the Sabrejets avoided another last place finish, barely. In addition to an unconvincing win over the Firebirds, Denver also defeated Los Angeles and Chicago, the latter by making use of a quite hilarious series of confrontations in the vicinity of Navy Pier.
Record: 3-2-8 [11 pts]
It was a disappointing year for the Picketers, who were surely expecting more from Rob G Fulumale. His strategy was apparently to hide his teammates in any convenient hiding place, including on fire escapes, behind hot dog carts, and inside dumpsters. They were perhaps invisible, but the opposition could certainly smell them coming.
Record: 3-2-8 [11 pts]
Ever since Jacqueline James joined Seattle in 2006, she was a swing player, moving between attack and defense. But this season, against the flag capturing bloggers’ recommendations, she was given the role of defensive leader. The resulting disorganisation was proof that the blind squirrels who write about the ACFL on Teh Intarwebs can indeed find a nut on occasion.
Record: 4-1-8 [13 pts]
Capcom veteran Irene Jaciewicz was in her first year as a player/assistant general manager, and although it wasn’t a good year, she found a couple of young players in the draft, Jon Mack and Victor Araujo, who are likely to perform well on attack for years to come.
Record: 4-2-7 [14 pts]
The defending champion Lemmings had things collapse this year. You might even say that they fell off a cliff. [Yes, we here at GoobNet have been waiting some time to make that joke.]
Record: 5-0-8 [15 pts]
New York were in a three way tie for the lead after four matches and were still two points off the pace after nine. But the midseason trade that sent Tyler Madden to Minneapolis proved to be their undoing, as he used his knowledge of Flushing to help his new team hide out for over two days before escaping to Newark and returning home. It was the first of New York’s four consecutive losses to end the season.
Record: 6-1-6 [19 pts]
The other expansion team that is in its second year, the Mergansers, named for a large diving duck that passes through the state of Minnesota during migration, soared up the table to end up in a three way tie for sixth. Keep an eye out for Mike Sen, Leisha Scott-Fisher, and Eric Saurobath, who have begun to gel as a defensive unit.
Record: 6-1-6 [19 pts]
The Plankton, winners of the 2002 and 2003 Flag Finals, have not been back to the league’s championship match since. But this year, Piper Collins joined the team and immediately gave the attack some new ideas. She and her teammates began to rely more on public transportation rather than renting automobiles in every city that they visited. Though this option bears lesser flexibility, it also means that the team can exit the bus or train at any time, befuddling the opposition. With more experience on the nation’s public transit next season, they should be a force to be reckoned with.
Record: 6-1-6 [19 pts]
Al Hartford, the league’s rookie of the year in 2007, continues his professional development. This year, he and Stacy Sánchez [no relation to the former Playmate] formed a scouting partnership within the Atlanta defense. Their first notable success in this category was when they spotted the Houston attackers on a webcam covering the entrance to the CNN Center, which earned the Antibodies a draw in Match Four.
Record: 6-2-5 [20 pts]
The only two black belt judokas in the ACFL, Stefan Miyano and Kirika Fuuleshu, are also the Insomniacs’ fastest players. When their flag was stolen in the Match Eight meeting with the Plankton, Miyano and Fuuleshu pursued Collins and friends through the streets of Myrtle Beach, continuously updating their own teammates by mobile until the confrontation near Broadway at the Beach.
Record: 6-4-3 [22 pts]
Boston won five in a row near the end of the season, but by then, there was no catching the Irony or the Fermions. The Nondescripts should be pleased with their season, though, as they appeared to piece things together by the time that streak arrived. Amy Hooper and Charlie Johnson developed their Nondescript Dance, which became a minor sensation amongst bloggers, in celebration of their Match Nine win against Seattle.
Record: 8-0-5 [24 pts]
The Irony’s only loss was to New York, but that was enough to give first place away to the Fermions. Shane Kelmartie, leader of Cleveland’s defense that is popularly known as the “Ironic Curtain”, has an encyclopedic knowledge of Cleveland and its environs that would make Drew Carey proud.
Record: 10-2-1 [32 pts]
Santa Fe secured their place in the Flag Final with two matches remaining in the season. Even though they didn’t lose a single match, there was still cause for concern, especially with Fran Semarkand. Her pace is a liability for the attack, and only luck kept it from turning a win into a loss against Boston, when the Nondescripts’ defense caught up with Semarkand’s teammates. Semarkand arrived at the scene after the defense had already recaptured their flag and began to split up; when she joined her teammates, they again had enough numbers to retake the flag.
Record: 10-3-0 [33 pts]
The head to head meeting between these teams was way back in Match Two, when neither side managed to extract the other’s flag more than two kilometres from its hiding spot. When these two teams set off from Boise this week, expect Cleveland to try to make an early play. The Fermions’ defense will stop them but will pull a man back from their attack, which will prove critical later in the week. When Santa Fe tries to nab the Cleveland flag, Semarkand will fall behind, and the Ironic Curtain will slam down in her path. Santa Fe’s greater defensive numbers will be too spread out to catch the Irony’s second attempt.
GoobNet’s forecast: Irony by thirty six hours
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