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WEEKLY WHINE

The NHL: ARRRGH!

Continuing our effort to bring relegation to North American professional sports, the GoobNet Agency for Reintroducing Relegation to Recreational Game Hierarchies now presents the plan that the National Hockey League and other North American ice hockey leagues will use to institute relegation.

Since 2000, the NHL has had thirty teams, divided equally into two conferences that are themselves divided equally into three divisions. At the completion of an 82 game regular season, the division winners, plus the five other teams in each conference with the highest point totals, advance to the playoffs.

Several subordinate leagues, including the American Hockey League, the ECHL, the International Hockey League, and the Central Hockey League, also exist; currently most teams in these leagues have affiliate agreements with one or more teams in other leagues, forming a player development hierarchy.

2009-10

Under the GoobNet Agency for Reintroducing Relegation to Recreational Game Hierarchies’ plan, affiliate agreements with teams in other leagues are to cease at the end of this season. Any teams that are owned by teams in other leagues are to be sold to independent ownership during a three year transitional period lasting through the end of the 2011-2 season.

At the end of the season, the NHL Second League is formed, made up of the five worst teams in each NHL conference plus the ten best teams in each AHL conference. The remaining AHL teams are joined by the top seven teams in each ECHL conference, the top two IHL teams, and the four CHL division winners in a single league that we will refer to as the IHL First League. The remaining ECHL, IHL, and CHL teams become the IHL Second League. The Southern and Eastern Professional Hockey Leagues, the Ligue Nord-Américaine de Hockey, and the All American Hockey League all merge together into a new IHL Third League.

An exception to the above provisions is that during the transitional period, no league may contain two teams that share ownership. For example, if the New Jersey Devils have not yet sold the Lowell Devils, they may not both end up in the NHL Second League. If New Jersey do not qualify for the NHL First League, the Lowell Devils must remain in the IHL First League, even if they were among the top ten in the Eastern Conference. For each team that does not qualify for the NHL Second League in this manner, the next team in that conference that does qualify will play in the NHL Second League instead.

2010-1 AND 2011-2

From this point forward, the NHL First League is made up of twenty teams divided into North, South, East, and West divisions. Each team plays 82 games: twelve against each divisional opponent and two against each nondivisional opponent. A third game is played against each nondivisional opponent that finished in the same position in the previous season, and against an additional nondivisional opponent determined on a rotating basis. For instance, in the 2010-1 season, the North Division team that finished highest in the previous season among the teams that are now in the same division plays the South Division team that finished lowest.

At the end of the season, the four division winners, plus four wild cards, advance to the Stanley Cup playoffs. The playoffs are played in the same format as the current playoffs within a single conference: the division winners receive the four highest seeds and face a wild card in the first round. The second round has the highest seeded remaining team face the lowest seeded remaining team, just as in the current Stanley Cup playoff structure.

The NHL Second League is made up of thirty teams divided into six divisions in two conferences. Each team plays 82 games in the same format as the current NHL: six against each divisional opponent, four against each nondivisional conference opponent, and up to two against each nonconference opponent.

There are no championship playoffs in any league below the NHL First League. Instead, the winners of each NHL Second League division advance to promotion playoff serieses and are seeded by their regular season records. The six opponents from the NHL First League are the four teams that finished last in their respective divisions plus two antiwild cards who are seeded first and second. The serieses are played between the highest seeded NHL First League team and lowest seeded NHL Second League team, between the second highest seeded NHL First League team and second lowest seeded NHL Second League team, and so on. The winner of each best of seven series plays the following season in the NHL First League, and the loser plays in the NHL Second League. These serieses are played concurrently with the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

The IHL First League is made up of thirty teams divided into six divisions in two conferences, with 82 games per team in the same format as the NHL Second League. The six division winners have seven game promotion playoff serieses against the last placed teams in each division in the NHL Second League, with matchups determined by seeding order as with the serieses for promotion to the NHL First League.

The IHL Second League is made up of twenty eight teams divided into four divisions. [The Columbia Inferno, Dayton Bombers, Mississippi Sea Wolves, and unnamed Myrtle Beach team are here assumed to return to operations in the 2010-1 season.] The teams play 78 games each: six against each divisional opponent and two against each nondivisional opponent. The four division winners plus two wild cards have seven game promotion playoff serieses against the last placed teams in each IHL First League division, with matchups determined by seeding order as above.

The IHL Third League is made up of twenty eight teams divided into four divisions. [The Sorel Mission, Hyannis Storm, and Jacksonville Barracudas are here assumed to return to operations in the 2010-1 season.] The teams play 78 games each, in the same format as the IHL Second League. The four division winners have seven game promotion playoff serieses against the last placed teams in each IHL Second League division, with matchups determined by seeding order as above.

The restriction on shared ownership remains in place during these remaining two seasons of the transitional period. If a team has the same ownership as a team in the league to which it is trying to earn promotion, that promotion series is cancelled and both teams will remain in their present leagues. However, if the league leadership determines that a team is intentionally delaying the sale of a former affiliate in hopes of avoiding relegation, the league retains the right to punish the team accordingly, up to and including expulsion of both teams from the league.

Each league may also decide to set conditions on entry relating to financial status, arena size, and other off ice factors. If a team does not meet the conditions of the league to which it is trying to earn promotion, that promotion series is cancelled.

2012-3 AND BEYOND

Beginning with the 2012-3 season, no two teams anywhere in the combined NHL/IHL structure may share ownership. If the transition period expires with a team being unable to divest a lower league team, that lower league team must cease operations.

Whenever a team ceases operations, that league fills the empty slot by promoting the best team in the next lower league that was not promoted. Should a team cease operations in the middle of a season, the team in the next lower league that finishes the season with the best record is promoted automatically, and an additional wild card joins the list of participants in the promotion playoffs as the lowest seed.

This plan assumes that the Allen Americans and the unnamed Independence, MO team will join the CHL in the 2010-1 season. Any further expansion teams must enter in the IHL Third League. [Sorry, Vail, CO.]

Below is a summary of the five leagues in the GoobNet Agency for Reintroducing Relegation to Recreational Game Hierarchies’ plan for professional ice hockey in North America.

League Initial Teams Teams
Total Prom Playoff Rel Playoff
NHL First League 20 NHL 20 8* 6
NHL Second League 10 NHL + 20 AHL 30 6 6
IHL First League 10 AHL + 14 ECHL + 2 IHL + 4 CHL 30 6 6
IHL Second League 10 ECHL + 4 IHL + 14 CHL 28 6 4
IHL Third League 7 SPHL + 5 EPHL + 10 LNAH + 6 AAHL 28 4 0
* Stanley Cup playoff teams

The NHL and IHL will not be permitted to attach sponsors’ names to the names of the leagues, or to give them names that do not correspond to their position within that league’s ladder. Again, though, the NHL and IHL are encouraged to select names that are not redundant. Perhaps the “NHL First Circuit” and “NHL Second Circuit” will catch on.

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