WEEKLY WHINE

Edvard stumps health insurance

As you are well aware, the United States is currently debating how to improve health insurance. The country contains numerous points of view, all of which are being presented in a calm, logical manner with a factual basis for all claims being made.

Another item at issue is whether or not it helps your cause to show up at a rally with a loaded weapon.

Yes, all sides in the health insurance debate are behaving like children, with the exception that even children pipe down and listen to one another every once in a while. So how to examine the claims and counterclaims, and how to distinguish the ones that actually make sense from the ones that are merely the raving self contradictory shrieks of Glenn Beck? Our best friend in paleontology, “Dynamite Eating” Edvard van de Kamp, is here once again to write a Stump Edvard column. If you have a question that you think will stump Edvard, send it to behind the hot water pipes in the third washroom along at Victoria Station.

Dear Edvard: Why does the new health care plan prohibit private insurance providers from accepting new policy holders after a year? This runs counter to what the president has been saying about his health care plan.

– Norvin St William
Albuquerque, NM, USA

Dear Norvin: The new health care plan does not prohibit private insurance from accepting new policy holders. According to FactCheck.org, House Resolution 3200 permits current health insurance plans to be grandfathered in, which means that the terms of the bill do not apply to those plans. The bill actually states that new policy holders after the one year period are not treated as grandfathered policies.

Dear Edvard: I think death panels are a fine idea. The government already tells us how to live, so why can’t they tell us how to die too?

– Tom E Bradmaker
Tenkey, AL, USA

Dear Tom: There are no death panels.

Dear Edvard: I have seen that the president is lying about how much Americans spend on health care. He always says that Americans spend 6000 dollars more on health care than the next highest country. How much do we really spend on health care?

– Janine Baker
Portland, ME, USA

Dear Janine: Health care spending in the US is about US$7,000 per capita, which is about US$2,500 more than the next highest country, which would be Norway. The White House has said that the US$6,000 figure is per family.

Dear Edvard: Would private insurance still be permitted to deny or cancel coverage due to pre-existing conditions?

– Fernando del Horno
Manchester, CA, USA

Dear Fernando: The bills that are in each house of Congress [the Senate Affordable Health Choices Act and HR 3200] would each require guaranteed issue and renewability and prohibit preexisting condition exclusions. HR 3200 would exempt grandfathered policies from this requirement.

Dear Edvard: When will the death panel be coming to eastern Virginia? There are a few people in my building who need to die.

– Hatcher Keelaarten
Newport News, VA, USA

Dear Hatcher: There are no death panels. None whatsoever.

Dear Edvard: How much will government health care cost?

– Sally Waterford
Brubaker, FL, USA

Dear Sally: According to FactCheck.org, the Congressional Budget Office has determined that HR 3200 would add US$239,000,000,000 to the US federal deficit over ten years, whilst the Senate bill would add US$597,000,000,000 to the deficit over the same time frame. President Obama argues that some of these costs can be recouped by saving on current expenditures, but that remains to be seen.

Dear Edvard: I live in an area that contains a large number of senior citizens. Most of them have their food delivered to them, watch The Price is Right all the time, and drive ten miles per hour under the speed limit. Therefore, I consider myself uniquely qualified to serve on a death panel. I know the bill that’s currently out doesn’t have any provisions for death panels. I think everyone knows that by now. But my question is, how do we add death panels to the bill? And how do we make it sound good so that Republicans and Democrats will both support it?

– Ruthann Greene
Globe, AZ, USA

Dear Ruthann: How about “soylent manufacturing boards”?

Dear Edvard: Why do people still care what Sarah Palin has to say?

– Iris N’Dongue
Islip, NY, USA

Dear Iris: Because they’re dumb.