WEEKLY WHINE

The world’s largest undo button

Is there something you would like to undo? Perhaps visiting this site?

Yes, we all make mistakes. Computer software has recognised this by providing an undo command. You might think that it would be totally awesome if real life provided undo capabilities, but in fact, it would not be as useful as you might expect, assuming it could be used only to undo the most recent action. For instance, Eddie Murphy may care to undo making The Adventures of Pluto Nash, but that would also require undoing his many accomplishments since then, such as The Haunted Mansion, Norbit, and Meet Dave.

But if Apple created something useful, rather than simply trying to jam the same features into different shapes [coming soon: the iBall!], it would be a mega-awesome undo button that could undo previous actions even if other actions took place in between. We would use it for the following purposes.

• The US version of Jeopardy! is to revert to the 1991 theme with the bongos.
• The US version of Jeopardy! is also to revert to the contestants entering individually at the start of the show, as Johnny Gilbert says, “Now entering the studio are today’s contestants.” We ordered this five years ago, and there has been no progress since then.
• The US versions of the following television programmes are to revert from being cancelled to not being cancelled: Win Ben Stein’s Money, 1 vs 100, Power of 10, Family Guy [check], Futurama [check], Lingo, Arrested Development, The Money List, The [insert dollar amount] Pyramid, and Let’s Make a Deal [check].
• The National Basketball Association is to revert from having a dizzying variety of themed weeks [Green Week, Hispanic Heritage Week, Rivalry Week, Exploding Scoreboard Week] to not having a dizzying variety of themed weeks.
• The entire world is to revert to non-sponsored sports jerseys. Sorry, Bank of Montréal.
• The Los Angeles area is to revert to electric streetcars everywhere.
• The following people are to revert from being famous to not being famous: Freddie Prinze Jr, Nicole Richie, Tila Nguyen, and Glenn Beck.
• GoobNet is to revert from sucking to not sucking.