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WHAT TARA REID MASTURBATES TO

WEEKLY WHINE

Do not translate it into Urdu

Did you know that airports are horribly inefficient, incorrectly arranged, and severely understaffed?

If you are finding that out at this very moment, you will be pleased to know that we have prepared a brand new set of Super Happy Assortment of GoobNet Activities Designed Exclusively for Lagged Individuals and Companions. Print them out and participate in them when you are selected for a “random” search, though you are well aware that your only crime is flying while one of the following: black, Latino, Asian, white, short, tall, average, important, unimportant, female, or male.

SPEE-NAGRAM

Rearrange the following letters to form the name of a cosmonaut who flew in space forty nine years ago today.

GURI YAGARIN

WHAT’S SIMILAR?

Determine the common thread that the sentences below share.

  • Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this son of York.
  • Was ever woman in this humour won?
  • So wise, so young, they say, do never live long.
  • Off with his head!
  • I must be married to my brother’s daughter, or else my kingdom stands on brittle glass.
  • An honest tale speeds best, being plainly told.
  • Conscience is but a word that cowards use, devis’d at first to keep the strong in awe.
  • We will unite the white rose and the red.

THE QUESTIONS

1. On which of these American game shows was a topic or category given ahead of the question?

  1. Weakest Link
  2. 1 vs 100
  3. Jackpot!
  4. Friend or Foe?

2. Which of these people served as the regular center square on Hollywood Squares?

  1. Whoopi Goldberg
  2. Martin Mull
  3. Paul Lynde
  4. Joan Rivers

3. The runner up in the 2007 US Grand Slam tournament also appeared on which of these game shows?

  1. Jeopardy!
  2. Sale of the Century
  3. Twenty One
  4. Win Ben Stein’s Money

4. Win Ben Stein’s Money aired on which of these television networks?

  1. The one that also airs The Daily Show
  2. The one that is owned by Viacom
  3. The one that also airs Scrubs reruns
  4. The one that will begin airing Friends reruns next year

[ show the answers ]

ANSWERS

Spee-Nagram

YURI GAGARIN

What’s Similar?

All sentences end with a word of a single syllable.

The Questions

1. No

2. Yes

3. No

4. Yes

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