WEEKLY WHINE

20,000, my ass

You know the major stories of each Men’s World Cup. Andrés Escobar. Zidane’s headbutt. La Mano de Dios. Geoff Hurst’s controversial goal at Wembley.

But do you also know some of the other, less well known storylines? We here at GoobNet do. And luckily for you, we are willing to share.

URUGUAY 1930

Teams: 13

Final: Uruguay 04-02 Argentina

Untold story: Since only three stadiums were used, all in Montevideo, visiting tourists had their choice of matches without travel limitations. Indeed, the match between Romania and Peru was played in front of only 300 spectators; most people chose to attend the Yugoslavia-Brazil match instead, despite the King Carol bobblehead promotion.

ITALY 1934

Teams: 16

Final: Italy 02-01 Czechoslovakia [F/OT]

Untold story: Qualifying matches were held for the first time; a late application by the United States meant that Mexico, who had planned to play in the tournament, instead had to face the US in a Rome qualifier three days before the opening match proper. The United States defeated Mexico 4-2. To this day, Mexicans still refer to Americans as gringos, meaning “guys who cannot submit a simple form in time without it becoming entangled in some sort of lengthy bureaucratic procedure”.

FRANCE 1938

Teams: 15

Final: Italy 04-02 Hungary

Untold story: In the 1934 and 1938 tournaments, an elimination format was used, which resulted in the need for a first round replay between Switzerland and Germany after the original match ended in a 1-1 draw. In the second match, Ernst Lörtscher of Switzerland scored the goal that became the first official own goal in Men’s World Cup history, beginning the long tradition of ¡autogolazo!s that continues to this day. Many around the world are waiting with bated breath to discover who will score the greatest ¡autogolazo! of South Africa 2010.

BRAZIL 1950

Teams: 13

Final group: Uruguay 5 pts, Brazil 4 pts, Sweden 2 pts, Spain 1 pt

Untold story: Though the story of the last match is well known [Brazil, needing only a draw against Uruguay to win the final group, conceded the winning goal to Alcides Ghiggia with eleven minutes left], what is often forgotten is that three teams withdrew after having qualified. India refused to play wearing shoes as the rules required, France pulled out in protest at the more than 3,000 km distances between their first group phase venues, and Scotland withdrew because their second place finish in the British Home Championship was deemed insufficient, despite the rule that the top two finishers would qualify. This contrasts to present day Scotland sides, which do not merely say that they are not good enough, they demonstrate it on the pitch.

SWITZERLAND 1954

Teams: 16

Final: Germany FR 03-02 Hungary

Untold story: The famous “Magical Magyar” squad of Hungary defeated Germany FR 8-3 in the group phase, part of a 29 match unbeaten run over four years, only to lose to the same team in the final. This tournament saw a goal scoring rate of more than five per match, still a record. Experts attribute this to the high altitude in Switzerland as well as the goalkeepers being blinded by Brazil’s new yellow kits.

SWEDEN 1958

Teams: 16

Final: Brazil 05-02 Sweden

Untold story: This tournament made two great contributions to global football. Best known today was the coming of age of a young Brazilian star named Pelé. But the other, no less revolutionary, occurred at the Group C playoff between Wales and Hungary. Imre Nagy, Hungarian prime minister during the 1956 Russian invasion, had been executed the day before, and spectators boycotted the match as a show of sympathy, resulting in a total attendance of less than 3,000. However, FIFA still reports an official attendance of 20,000, kicking off a long series of inflated attendance numbers that will no doubt reach its highest point at South Africa 2010.

CHILE 1962

Teams: 16

Final: Brazil 03-01 Czechoslovakia

Untold story: This tournament is often remembered for a plethora of violent play, particularly the “Battle of Santiago”, host Chile’s Group B match against Italy. In Brazil’s semifinal win against Chile, Garrincha was sent off, but Brazil were able to convince FIFA to overturn his automatic suspension for the final. Had that not happened, Czechoslovakia may well have won the cup, leading to a revitalisation of football throughout Eastern Europe. The Men’s World Cup and European Championship would have been dominated by Soviet bloc nations for decades, proving the effectiveness of state run athletic and social programmes. Gorbachev would have challenged Reagan to “tear down this wall”, and eventually NATO would have collapsed as former members rushed to join the Warsaw Pact, with communism becoming the new world order. So, if you live in a free nation, don’t forget to thank the longstanding corruption in Brazilian football for its place in keeping the world safe for democracy.

ENGLAND 1966

Teams: 16

Final: England 04-02 Germany FR [F/OT]

Untold story: Modern football analysts are well aware of the role of Alf Ramsey’s England squad, which introduced a forerunner to the 4-4-2 formation used ubiquitously today. But at the time, wide attackers were considered an essential part of the game. Ramsey’s reasons for going wingless were, first, an injury to key player Jimmy Greaves, and second, an unfortunate visit to the United States where Ramsey fell ill due to a batch of bad chicken wings.

MEXICO 1970

Teams: 16

Final: Brazil 04-01 Italy

Untold story: Until this tournament, leather footballs made up of eighteen surface panels, sewed in a volleyball-style pattern, were the norm. But for Mexico 1970, Adidas introduced a match ball that used a revolutionary synthetic surface, made up of twenty white hexagons and twelve black pentagons. Even today, this is the definitive appearance of a football, despite Adidas’s own attempts to foist the Fevernova, the Teamgeist, and the Jabulani on us. But fear not, for eventually Adidas will learn not to fuck with tradition.

GERMANY FR 1974

Teams: 16

Final: Netherlands 01-02 Germany FR

Untold story: This was one of only four Men’s World Cups to have two group phases. On this occasion, the format saw two teams advance from each first round group. Then, the winners of the two second round groups would play in the final, and the runners up would contest the third place match. This was done because FIFA observed that fans now understood the previous format, a state of affairs that could not be allowed to continue.

ARGENTINA 1978

Teams: 16

Final: Argentina 03-01 Netherlands [F/OT]

Untold story: The military junta that had taken power in Argentina two years previously led many nations to consider boycotting the tournament. In the end, everyone played, but as the records show, the withdrawal of any or all other nations would not have affected the final result.

SPAIN 1982

Teams: 24

Final: Italy 03-01 Germany FR

Untold story: The Men’s World Cup famously saw its first penalty shootout in the semifinal between Germany FR and France. Because Germany FR conceded two goals in the overtime session but still came back to equalise, the match is today used as an argument against the golden goal rule when in fact it is the opposite: had the golden goal rule been in place, the lottery of the shootout would have been avoided.

MEXICO 1986

Teams: 24

Final: Argentina 03-02 Germany FR

Untold story: Yellow and red cards were introduced at Mexico’s previous Men’s World Cup in 1970, but at this tournament the red card came of age. First, Cayetano Ré of Paraguay became the first ever coach to be sent off at the tournament, for persistently entering the pitch without permission in the Group B match against Belgium. Then, in the Group E match against Scotland, Uruguay’s José Batista was sent off in the first minute. Referees were from that moment on warned about individuals whose names ended with an E with an acute accent.

ITALY 1990

Teams: 24

Final: Germany FR 01-00 Argentina

Untold story: This tournament, perhaps more than any other, illustrates how the world was changing. This was, of course, Germany FR’s last match before reunification. It was the first Men’s World Cup with an official video game. It had the lowest goal scoring rate in history, barely two per match. Finally, it introduced the absurd kits, for instance Germany FR’s white jerseys with black, red, and gold diagonal lines, that became the norm for much of the decade and eventually led to the abomination that was the inaugural MLS uniforms.

USA 1994

Teams: 24

Final: Brazil 00-00 Italy [F/OT; PK: 03-02]

Untold story: The most financially successful Men’s World Cup ever, with average attendances near 70,000, this tournament is best remembered for Roberto Baggio’s penalty that sailed into the Rose Bowl seats. But Cameroon’s Roger Milla also deserves praise for besting his own record for the oldest goalscorer at a Men’s World Cup. At 42, he scored the decisive goal that caused Cameroon to avoid a shutout against Russia; the match ended up 6-1.

FRANCE 1998

Teams: 32

Final: France 03-00 Brazil

Untold story: Fair Play Day was famously celebrated with the match between the United States and Iran. Though Iran won the match 2-1, the real winners were the men in the booths, who had something to tell the viewing public about other than the fact that neither team had much of a chance in a group that also contained Germany and Yugoslavia.

KOREA/JAPAN 2002

Teams: 32

Final: Germany 00-02 Brazil

Untold story: The underdogs’ successes throughout this tournament – Senegal defeating France in the opening match, the United States upending Portugal, Turkey and cohosts Korea Rep making the semifinals – are well known. But many of us have already forgotten that Saudi Arabia and China PR were two underdogs who did not join the party. Each lost all three matches, including Saudi Arabia’s 8-0 hiding at the hands of eventual finalists Germany. The lesson that this tournament taught us is: Expect the unexpected, unless the unexpected hasn’t got a chance.

GERMANY 2006

Teams: 32

Final: Italy 01-01 France [F/OT; PK: 05-03]

Untold story: The Calciopoli scandal erupted in Italy just a month before this tournament kicked off, implicating numerous well known Italian clubs in accusations of fixing matches by influencing referee selections. Even during the Men’s World Cup, debate raged about whether, and how, to punish the involved clubs. In the end, five clubs were docked points in the following season, including Juventus, who were also stripped of two Serie A championships and relegated to Serie B. But all this did not have the impact it might have, as the Azzurri became champions for a fourth time thanks to Marco Materazzi’s mouth.