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WEEKLY WHINE

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THE WRONGEST PENALTY IN THE HISTORY OF WRONGNESS

“In a tournament that set a record with twelve own goals, one of them in the final, how can we decide who receives the coveted Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award?” Take to the streets in outrage that your favoured candidate did not receive the Golden Blindfold in The Wrongest Penalty in the History of Wrongness.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee

A BRIEF LOOK AHEAD

“The fact that this squad have not yet been brought down to Earth in horribly crushing fashion does not mean that it will not happen.” Watch the semifinals from your panic bunker in A Brief Look Ahead.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup

INTERACTION: MEN’S WORLD CUP VIDEO SCREENS

“What are we doing here?” Eagerly anticipate the spectacle of Luis Suárez answering the great questions of our time, which for all you know occurred on Interaction: Men’s World Cup Video Screens.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Football, Men’s World Cup

THE MATRICES

“Well, obviously, we here at GoobNet totally know the answer to that.” Experience immense regret at not having taken the blue pill in The Matrices.

Keywords: Knowledge, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

THE GOOBNET MEN’S WORLD CUP CHANGE KIT CHALLENGE

“At the Men’s World Cup, each team has two kits.” Take the GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge in The GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Sport uniforms, Interactive

MEN’S WORLD CUP: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...

“Employees watching the matches instead of getting shit done cause billions of dollars in lost productivity, but FIFA takes in billions of dollars on television rights and other merchandising, so it all works out.” Use your television to view satellite programming live in Men’s World Cup: Whatever Happened To....

Keywords: Sport, Knowledge, Football, Men’s World Cup

CALLING ALL PUNDITS

“The event featured speeches by the presidents of FIFA and of Russia, who are top contenders for the Corruption Cup.” Apply a sufficient quantity of palm grease in Calling All Pundits.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

PERFORM THE DRAW THROUGH A STRAW

“This week, the draw for the 2018 Men’s World Cup will decide who will play whom in Russia.” Refuse to trust Gianni Infantino in Perform the Draw Through a Straw.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive

A DIRECT INJECTION OF SODIUM CHLORIDE INTO THE OPEN WOUND

“It was a crushing disappointment to finish a mere thirty points behind Germany.” Heap scorn upon Andy Selva in preparation for A Direct Injection of Sodium Chloride Into the Open Wound.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup, Reverse Mailbox

THE GOOBNET SPEED HOWLS WITH INCANDESCENT RAGE

“i wanna vomit, punch klinsmann in the face, cry, and get my coaching license” Tomorrow is another match, but be forewarned that today The GoobNet SPEED Howls with Incandescent Rage.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, SPEED, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

ENHANCED SIMILARITY

“You don’t need to watch any highlights, or look at any photo galleries, or see any studio analysis that explains in detail how and why Mali held Morocco to a goalless draw when just four days earlier they had lost to the very same opponent 6-0.” Blame Prof Ogden Wernstrom for any Enhanced Similarity.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHAT THEN?

“Teams in Pot 1 and Pot 2 who had played one another in the seeding playoffs were allowed to be allocated to the same group.” Enable familiarity to breed contempt in Men’s World Cup Expansion: What Then?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO, SPECIFICALLY?

“Edvard would like it to be known that he in no way endorses this prediction and is not willing to play any part in the jinx that we have just applied to the Netherlands.” See into the future with Oranje tinted lenses in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who, Specifically?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO?

“This expansion has been approved, though, which means that short of Gianni Infantino being visited by the Ghosts of Men’s World Cups Past, Present, and Yet to Come, the 2026 Men’s World Cup will be a large, ungainly beast of 80 matches in 32 days.” Meet Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi, and Christian Pulisic in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who?.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHERE?

“In 2034, it will be the rest of the world’s turn.” Reward excellence in miscellany in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Where?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHY NOT?

“Let us turn our weakness into a strength.” Wear your Schwartz ring on the correct finger in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Why Not?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

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