WEEKLY WHINE
As you are well aware, football, when left alone, tends toward silly uniforms. If you remember Mexico’s or the United States’ kits at USA 1994, you are well aware of this. Thankfully, though, one of many things that the Internet has become good at is sharing information about ridiculous kits around the world.
So, in our continuing effort to helping your world suck less, the GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] has examined the kits to be worn at the 2010 Men’s World Cup in South Africa and offered recommendations where needed. Luckily, they report that most of them are good. It is their opinion that this will be the best looking Men’s World Cup in history.
Of course, the rest of us will be reserving judgement to see how the teams actually play in these kits.
The kits of Bafana Bafana are suitable as is. There are some details, such as a pattern in the shape of the South African flag, that will be difficult for viewers to see.
The home uniform is suitable as is, but the away blacks need to go. Mexico should wear white second kits.
Uruguay traditionally wear a good combination of sky blue jerseys with black shorts, and this time the theme is renewed well. The sun from the country’s flag becomes a pattern in the primary jersey, though again, viewers will have difficulty seeing it.
It is puzzling to see Ireland Rep wearing blue, white, and red. Putting that aside for the moment, we are concerned about the partial red and white faded stripes on the primary jersey. Instead of “reinterpreting” traditional shirts, Adidas should just make the traditional shirts again.
As with many other countries, Argentina have a traditional uniform style that is simply tweaked slightly for each major tournament. This time the sky blue stripes appear to be somewhat darker than normal, which, while acceptable, seems to be pointless. The secondary jersey, often navy blue, is this time somewhat lighter than normal.
Suitable as is. Nigeria have this time decided to wear a simple green home uniform and white away uniform. It is proof that traditional does not necessarily equate to dull.
Since their famous run to the semifinals in 2002, Korea Rep’s red jerseys have given way to a sort of bright reddish pink, which suits the team well. Both jerseys – the white secondary as well as the reddish pink – have a pleasing striped pattern reminiscent of the tiger that appears on the Korea Football Association’s crest.
Suitable as is. Like Nigeria, Greece have opted to wear non-wacky uniforms; in the Greeks’ case, it is a white home kit with blue trim and vice versa away.
It is a bit of a departure for England, who have normally worn white jerseys with navy blue shorts at home. This time, the home kit is all white, and the away kit features a red jersey and shorts with different white shorts. The secondary white shorts, with a red stripe down each side, seem unnecessary, as England will likely have to wear red shorts whenever the red jerseys are worn.
The United States have unveiled an interesting set of uniforms for South Africa 2010. The home and away jerseys each feature a diagonal stripe: gray on the white home jersey and white on the blue away jersey. This is a good idea, but the home stripe should be red, not least because it will allow supporters to cry, “The red stripe is beer! Yay beer!”
In all, four African sides at this Men’s World Cup wear kits manufactured by Puma. Each has a diagonal seam under the right shoulder, and each has a pattern above this seam. In Algeria’s case, the white home kits have a desert fox. It is a good idea, but it remains to be seen how many people will actually notice. The away green kit has red and white pinstripes, but on the right side, they stop at the seam to form a strange asymmetric appearance.
Suitable as is. Slovenia’s kits feature the triple peaks of the Triglav mountain, also seen in the Slovenian coat of arms. Interestingly, all four teams in this group have white primary kits.
The home kit is suitable as is. The vertical stripe is a new look for Germany, who until now have generally worn horizontal stripes. The away kit is black with white shorts; the red away jerseys that Germany have worn in recent years would have been a better choice.
The Socceroos, appearing in their third Men’s World Cup, have a new angle on their traditional green and gold. The home jersey is gold with green shoulders and sleeves, an appearance that will turn heads but not necessarily win people over. The away jersey is even more adventurous, with navy blue taking the place of the gold and royal blue in place of the green. Many – including us – will ask why two shades of blue were felt necessary.
Suitable as is. The home jersey is red with a distinctive white cross that passes through the crest.
Ghana, wearing the Puma gear, have a star above the shoulder seam as an homage to the national flag. The away red with gold vertical stripes is a good idea, but again, the interrupted stripes look silly.
Wearing perhaps the best kits at this Men’s World Cup, the Oranje pair their traditional orange primary jersey with black shorts. The secondary white jersey has a chevron in the red, white, and blue colours of the Dutch flag. Nike have indeed learned well from the cookie cutter syndrome evident at Korea/Japan 2002.
Suitable as is. The white horizontal stripe across the red home jersey is uneven, but it remains to be seen how well this will work in practise.
Suitable as is. Japan have also taken a traditional approach, wearing blue jerseys with white trim at home and the reverse away. But on top of that, a red tab was added below the collar, perhaps a nod to the red stripe that appears on the Japan Football Association’s crest.
The traditional green, red, and yellow of les Lions Indomptables were also echoed by tennis player Serena Williams at the French Open some years ago. The home kit is suitable as is, but the away yellow jersey has red penstripes that are again interrupted by Puma’s dreaded under shoulder seam.
Suitable as is. The defending champions have classy blue kits, though with a nearly invisible pattern on the home jersey. The waistband of the shorts has the Italian flag in the front, but this will largely go unnoticed.
Suitable as is. Once again Paraguay wear their traditional red and white stripes at home, and their away kit is a simple white affair with blue trim.
It seems strange to be discussing tradition for a team that has qualified for only the second time in its history, but the All Whites have stayed true to their name with simple white kits and black trim.
Slovakia wear blue at home and white away. It works well enough, but it seems that either the home or the away kit – or perhaps both – could do with a splash or red trim.
Like several other teams, Brazil’s kit patterns are set in stone, with only the details up for debate. This time, the new detail is a pointillist pattern on the secondary blue jersey. It does not appear to add anything.
Korea DPR wear either white or red; nobody seems to know which is the primary and which is the secondary. Once they get that straightened out, we will declare the kits suitable.
The orange primary shorts seem to be a change for the Elephants, who have normally paired their orange primary jerseys with white shorts. This change appears to be a wash. The away jersey is green with white horizontal stripes that would be reminiscent of Celtic, except that the Puma seam has struck again.
Portugal have brought out a good set of uniforms for this tournament. The home red jersey has a horizontal green stripe, and the away white jersey has an eyecatching green and red vertical stripe. In recent years Portugal have worn a darker wine red; that should be renewed.
We were excited to see what Spain had in store after winning Euro 2008 with their surprising gold secondary jersey. Unfortunately Spain have returned to a navy blue secondary kit. We recommend gold. The primary kit, of course, is a red jersey with blue shorts; it is acceptable as is but would work better with navy blue shorts.
The Swiss have brought out an updated version of their traditional red jerseys with white shorts. The home jersey also features a white turn up collar, which sometimes looks silly on football kits. This is one of those times.
In recent years, los Catrachos have worn blue and white stripes. But lately, they have been replaced by white home kits and blue away kits. Each also has a horizontal stripe across the top, in a blue and white gradient. It works well on the away jersey, but not the home one.
Appearing in the Men’s World Cup for the first time since 1998, Chile are another example of a team that sticks by tradition: their old reliable red jerseys with blue shorts are once again on offer. The all white secondary kit is also a good idea.
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