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THE INVERSE OF ZAPP BRANNIGAN

WEEKLY WHINE

Facilities that facilitate football

There now follows a ranking of the 18 stadiums used for play in Major League Soccer. Criteria include layout, pitch surface, visibility of action, quality, services, and location.

  1. Red Bull Arena: At a capacity of 25,189, the Red Bulls’ home is the second largest football specific venue in MLS. There is not a bad seat in the house, it is loaded with modern niceties, and it is easily accessible from the PATH train.
  2. Sporting Park: Placing a stadium way out in the hinterlands would normally be a mistake, but Sporting Kansas City have more than made up for that. Though comparatively small, it offers a loud, intimate atmosphere and is rapidly becoming a favourite for US Soccer.
  3. Dick’s Sporting Goods Park: Though difficult to access, the Rapids’ home is well equipped and is at the heart of a massive complex of community training fields. This supersedes the unfortunate name, which has led to the inevitable joke, “Dude, you should see them play with their balls at the Dick.”
  4. Home Depot Center: Although it was not the league’s first football specific venue, the Galaxy’s home is the archetype that all later such stadiums have followed. The solitary display screen is not sufficient for a venue of this size, but otherwise it is difficult to find fault with this stadium.
  5. Rio Tinto Stadium: Located within reach of a light rail stop, Real Salt Lake’s home is another modern venue that has hosted several international matches.
  6. Jeld-Wen Field: Though the stadium’s baseball history is clearly visible in the north and west ends, it is hard to argue with the atmosphere that the Timbers Army creates. Artificial turf is the major factor preventing a higher ranking for this facility.
  7. PPL Park: The supporters in the famous River End help make this one of the league’s best environments, so much so that the Union are considering expansion of the facility.
  8. BBVA Compass Stadium: Completion of the Dynamo’s home last year was well worth the wait. It boasts a striking metallic exterior and lavish interior. However, the American football team of Texas Southern University also plays here, which affected the pitch surface late last season.
  9. Centurylink Field: There is a reason most MLS clubs no longer play in NFL stadiums. There is also a reason that the Sounders are not such a club. Still, the artificial surface affects the style of play.
  10. BC Place: With the recent inclusion of the retractable roof, the Whitecaps’ home is a modern marvel, though the artificial surface means it misses out on a higher ranking.
  11. Stade Saputo: With a natural grass surface and intimate, European feel, the Impact’s home has become a favourite for the Canadian Soccer Association. As a bonus, the tower of the adjacent Stade Olympique rises above the south side.
  12. BMO Field: The original turf surface has been replaced by grass, but that has not improved Toronto FC’s fortunes.
  13. Toyota Park: The brick exterior is inspired by firehouses, though it does force Fire spectators to ascend a long sequence of stairs and then descend another sequence to reach their seats.
  14. Columbus Crew Stadium: Crew Stadium has become the de facto home of US-Mexico Men’s World Cup qualifiers.
  15. FC Dallas Stadium: This is a modern venue that also features a complex of training pitches. This being Dallas, however, the stadium is also frequently used for American football, including the NCAA Division I-AA championship.
  16. RFK Stadium: The best you can say about DC United’s home is that it is a historic venue that is easily accessible from the Metro. While the visible oscillation in the stand occupied by the Screaming Eagles and Barra Brava is endearing, one must also wonder whether it is a safety hazard.
  17. Gillette Stadium: There is a reason most MLS clubs no longer play in NFL stadiums, and it is the empty feeling one gets at a Revolution match.
  18. Buck Shaw Stadium: With a location that is impossible to reach, a baseball-style construction that is nonsensical for football, a complete lack of any sort of amenities, and an indifferent security staff, this venue would rank behind the Earthquakes’ new stadium, which doesn’t even exist yet. MLS made the right decision when it announced that last year’s MLS Cup final would not be held here under any circumstances.

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