WEEKLY WHINE

Bees

We here at GoobNet have been hard at work covering all the things in the world, including some that are happening. In fact, so many things are happening that our coffee machine is broken. We are considering changing our coverage schemes to cover only things that are not happening, such as an apology from Sepp Blatter.

But in the meantime, the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network is covering many important continuing stories. Here we show you the graphics we are using for each of these.

And that’s the Paragrapħ. We’ll be right over here, trying to fix the coffee machine.

ISIL SIEGE BROKEN
Yazidi people of Sinjar able to escape, watch end of Colbert

CUBA-US THAW
Stand by whilst we determine whether phrase ‘baseball diplomacy’ is taken

PESHAWAR SCHOOL ATTACK
Dude, you want us to make a joke about this?!

KELLY TO SPEND FULL YEAR ON ISS
That’s a lot of runs on Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill

CAN BIRDS SENSE TORNADOES?
If so, golden winged warblers to become frontrunners for Capt Chesley A ‘Sully’ Sullenberger Award for Most Awesome Achievement

THE INTERVIEW UNRELEASED
We mite get haXX0r3d oh noes!!!!

FIFA STILL IN CRISIS
Garcia report to be published, but without names, details, information, facts, or words

COLBERT REPORT SIGNS OFF
Has aired its last episode: is true, but doesn’t feel true