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Top lines that are 999,999 in a million

There now follows a ranking of the top lines and exchanges of the third production season of Futurama, shown here with the episode in which they appeared. Criteria included interestingness, funnyness, and memorableness.

Eligibility was limited to lines and exchanges that were interesting, funny, or memorable on their own merits. Lines and exchanges that were dependent upon sight gags or the programme’s structure were not eligible. For example, Zoidberg’s famous line “Guess again” was funny only because of its endoscopic setup.

Images are provided courtesy Morbotron.

1. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Announcer: They’re checking the electron microscope. And the winner is...Announcer: ...number three, in a quantum finish!Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

2. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Turanga Leela: But for once in my life, I just want to look normal.Philip J Fry: But you’re better than normal! You’re abnormal!

3. 3ACV17: “A Pharaoh to Remember”

Philip J Fry: Incredible! This place is just like the ancient Egypt of my day.Osiran: That is no coincidence, for our people visited your Egypt thousands of years ago.Philip J Fry: I knew it! Insane theories one, regular theories a billion!

4. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Philip J Fry: Leela, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.Philip J Fry: But every time I try, I get nervous...Philip J Fry: ...and my mouth feels like it’s stuffed with peanut butter, even when it’s not.

5. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Philip J Fry: Noticeably F.A.T., rewind the tape!

6. 3ACV01: “Amazon Women in the Mood”

Zapp Brannigan: I’m calling to negotiate a double date. You and me, Kif and Amy.Turanga Leela: Forget it.Zapp Brannigan: Then let the negotiations begin. I propose we go out on ten dates.Turanga Leela: How about zero?Zapp Brannigan: Nine.Turanga Leela: Zero.Zapp Brannigan: Seven.Turanga Leela: Zero.Zapp Brannigan: Eight?Amy Wong: Please, Leela? Kif’s, like, the sweetest guy who’s ever liked me.Zapp Brannigan: Five, and that’s my final offer. Four.Turanga Leela: One.Zapp Brannigan: Two.Turanga Leela: One half.Zapp Brannigan: I’ll take it. We’ll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.

7. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Judge: All glory to the Hypnotoad.

8. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Philip J Fry: Did you see it? Did you see it?Bender Bending Rodriguez: The explosion?Philip J Fry: No, not the explosion!Turanga Leela: Then what?[pause]Philip J Fry: Nothing.

9. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Philip J Fry: Is there anything religion can do to help me find my friend?Father Changstein El-Gamal: Well, we could join together in prayer.Philip J Fry: Uh huh. But is there anything useful we can do?Father Changstein El-Gamal: No.

10. 3ACV01: “Amazon Women in the Mood”

Zapp Brannigan: You win again, gravity!

11. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Philip J Fry: Game over! Phil wins! Yancy’s fans are stunned!Philip J Fry: There’ll be no celebration at the Yancydome!

12. 3ACV17: “A Pharaoh to Remember”

Philip J Fry: You know the worst thing about being a slave?Philip J Fry: They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go.Turanga Leela: That’s the only thing about being a slave.

13. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: You mustn’t interfere with the past. Don’t do anything that affects anything!Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Unless it turns out you were supposed to do it.Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: In which case, for the love of god, don’t not do it!

14. 3ACV08: “That’s Lobstertainment!”

Calculon: Let me see the script.Calculon: No, no. I don’t like the font.

15. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Turanga Leela: So how did the Universe begin?Lord Nibbler: [chattering]Turanga Leela: Then the meaning of existence...Lord Nibbler: [chattering]Turanga Leela: So every religion is wrong!

16. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Turanga Leela: Why is there so little traffic around Earth?Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: And what’s this layer of ozone? That’s never been there before.

17. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Linda van Schoonhoven: Time continues to skip forward randomly. Details at eleven.Linda van Schoonhoven: This is the news at eleven. The mysterious and unexplained –Linda van Schoonhoven: Turning to entertainment news, teen singer Wendy might just be the latest –Linda van Schoonhoven: – won three Grammys last night –Linda van Schoonhoven: – found dead in her bathtub.

18. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Philip J Fry: But... but won’t that change history?Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr I’m-My-Own-Grandpa!

19. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

President Harry S Truman: I want this sent to Area 51 for study.General: But sir, that’s where we’re building the fake Moon landing set.President Harry S Truman: Then we’ll have to really land on the Moon.President Harry S Truman: Invent NASA and tell them to get off their fannies!

20. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Galactic Entity: When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.

21. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Philip J Fry: So Leela, do you want to be like us?Philip J Fry: Or do you want to be like Adlai, with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever?Turanga Leela: That’s the dumbest question I ever heard.

22. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Philip J Fry: Fear not, for I shall assist ye!Hermes Conrad: Robots don’t say ‘ye’!Philip J Fry: Relax, mammal. My robotic software shall meet your calculatory needs.Philip J Fry: What is the meaning of this symbol?Hermes Conrad: That’s a plus sign, you pointy haired loony! Quit thinking you’re a robot!Philip J Fry: I’ll show ye!

23. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Philip J Fry: I don’t like having disks crammed into me! Unless they’re Oreos. And then only in the mouth!

24. 3ACV03: “A Tale of Two Santas”

Mayor C Randall Poopenmeyer: My god! The real Santa! Get him, Jesus!Dr John A Zoidberg: I help those who help themselves!

25. 3ACV12: “The Route of All Evil”

Dwight Conrad: We’re practically old enough to find the Fox network infantile!

26. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Philip J Fry: My roommate exploded!

27. 3ACV15: “I Dated a Robot”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop! And he’s an idiot!

28. 3ACV15: “I Dated a Robot”

Jeff Jervis: The Internet is about the free exchange and sale of other people’s ideas!

29. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Amy Wong: Aw, he looks like a little insane drunken angel!

30. 3ACV05: “The Birdbot of Ice-catraz”

Turanga Leela: At the risk of sounding negative, no!

31. 3ACV08: “That’s Lobstertainment!”

Turanga Leela: It’s some kind of hollow tube, devoid of human life.Turanga Leela: The Los Angeles subway!

32. 3ACV05: “The Birdbot of Ice-catraz”

Turanga Leela: I’m sorry, but if it’s fun in any way, it’s not environmentalism.Free Waterfall Sr: Oh really? How ’bout blowing up dams?Turanga Leela: Yeah, that is fun.

33. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Something involving that many big words could easily destabilize time itself.Philip J Fry: Is that a problem?Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Indeed so. At this rate, by Tuesday it will be Thursday, by Wednesday it will be August...Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: ...and by Thursday, it will be the end of existence as we know it!

34. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Mayor: I am the Lord Mayor of Cologne.Philip J Fry: You mean ‘colon’?Mayor: State your business!

35. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Behold! My mutant atomic supermen!Turanga Leela: They’re only a foot high, Professor.Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Well, they’re still young. Mere atomic superboys, really.

36. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Hattie McDoogal: Enough talk! It’s time for action!Hattie McDoogal: I move that everyone come to my apartment to snuggle my cat!Scruffy: Second.Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: I move that your cat stinks and is ugly!Scruffy: Second.Hattie McDoogal: I move that we vote on a new chief executive officer and oust this old creep!Hattie McDoogal: And also that my cat smells good and is pretty.Scruffy: Second.

37. 3ACV06: “Bendless Love”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: I ain’t your lover boy Flexo, the guy you love so much.Bender Bending Rodriguez: You even love anybody pretending to be him!Angleyne: Well, maybe I love you so much, I love you no matter who you’re pretending to be!Bender Bending Rodriguez: Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that!

38. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Turanga Leela: Oh my god! He ate Fry! Fry is dead!Philip J Fry: It’s okay. I had another guy.

39. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Philip J Fry: I must be a robot. Why else would human women refuse to date me?Turanga Leela: Oh, lots of reasons.

40. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Philip J Fry: Leela, I had worms. I needed to know who you loved, me or them.Turanga Leela: Well, which of you wrote me that sonnet?Philip J Fry: I did! I think. It was probably about fifty-fifty.

41. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Philip J Fry: People said I was dumb, but I proved them!

42. 3ACV22: “The 30% Iron Chef”

Hiroki: Aki, what’s Elzar making?Aki: Well, Hiroki-san, when I asked him, he asked what business it was of mine...Aki: ...and conjectured that my mother was a prostitute.

43. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Dr Adlai Atkins: Leela, you’re 999,999 in a million.

44. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: This is the Brooklyn bound B train...Bender Bending Rodriguez: ...making local stops at wherever the hell I feel like.Bender Bending Rodriguez: Watch for the closing doors. Bing boong!

45. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Fry’s mother: I’ll never forget the day Philip disappeared.Fry’s mother: Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl 17-9!

46. 3ACV03: “A Tale of Two Santas”

Philip J Fry: In my day, Xmas was supposed to bring people together, not blow them apart!

47. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Malachi: Fear not, my lord. We shall be with you soon.Bender Bending Rodriguez: You’re with me now! This is the maximum level of being with me!

48. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: You don’t need courage. After all, who needs courage when you have a gun?

49. 3ACV22: “The 30% Iron Chef”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: Fleeing somewhere?

50. 3ACV10: “Where the Buggalo Roam”

Leo Wong: We own entire western hemisphere. That the best hemisphere.Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: It’s the same on Earth.

51. 3ACV15: “I Dated a Robot”

Turanga Leela: Bender, this is Fry’s decision. And he made it wrong.

52. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Philip J Fry: But existing is basically all I do!

53. 3ACV13: “Bendin’ in the Wind”

Philip J Fry: Put the metal to the pedal to the other metal!

54. 3ACV08: “That’s Lobstertainment!”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: That plot makes perfect sense. Wink wink.Dr John A Zoidberg: Bender, you said ‘wink wink’ out loud.Bender Bending Rodriguez: No I didn’t. Raise middle finger.

55. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Chester A Arthur’s head: Chester A Arthur fall down!

56. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Big Brain: This is less fun than previously indicated.

57. 3ACV05: “The Birdbot of Ice-catraz”

Turanga Leela: When you were planning this peace ring...Turanga Leela: ...didn’t you realize spaceships can move in three dimensions?Free Waterfall Sr: No, I did not.

58. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Hyperchicken: Your honor, I move that I be disbarred...Hyperchicken: ...for introducing this evidence against my own clients.

59. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Turanga Leela: You say those awful flying brains are making everyone on Earth stupid?Lord Nibbler: [chattering]Turanga Leela: Oh, stupider.

60. 3ACV16: “A Leela of Her Own”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Why is your number 7/8?Turanga Leela: All the whole numbers have been retired.Philip J Fry: Wow! I must say, I’m impressed. You look just like a ball player.Philip J Fry: Can I pat you on the butt?Turanga Leela: Fry! I’m a professional athlete. So go ahead.Philip J Fry: Oh, now I’m too nervous!

61. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Philip J Fry: Hey Leela, how about a kiss for good luck?[pause]Philip J Fry: I meant tongue luck.

62. 3ACV17: “A Pharaoh to Remember”

High priest: Great wall of prophecy, reveal to us god’s will that we may blindly obey.Priests: Free us from thought and responsibility.High priest: We shall read things off you.Priests: Then do them.High priest: Your words guide us.Priests: We’re dumb.

63. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Nobody make a smell.

64. 3ACV03: “A Tale of Two Santas”

Philip J Fry: Billions and billions in one night!Robot Santa: Ha! No human could do all that!Philip J Fry: Evel Knievel could!Robot Santa: Nuh-uh!Bender Bending Rodriguez: Santa’s right. We need some sort of robot.[pause]Bender Bending Rodriguez: Aw, crap! I’m some sort of robot!

65. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: What part of ‘nay’ doesn’t thou understand?

66. 3ACV15: “I Dated a Robot”

Philip J Fry: So there’s an infinite number of parallel universes?Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: No, just the two.

67. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Marv Albert’s head: Ladies and gentlemen, something very strange has just happened...Marv Albert’s head: this basketball game between space clowns and atomic monsters.

68. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Brace yourselves, everyone. We’re entering the interior of Fry’s nose.Bender Bending Rodriguez: We’re at finger alert five.

69. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: I wanna know what would happen if I were human.Bender Bending Rodriguez: I mean, being a robot’s great, but we don’t have emotions...Bender Bending Rodriguez: ...and sometimes that makes me very sad.

70. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Philip J Fry: How did I do it? How did I get Leela to love me? I’ve got to figure it out.Hermes Conrad: Maybe you’re just a fantastic lover, Fry.Amy Wong: Um, no.

71. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Philip J Fry: There! Now he’s trapped in a book I wrote!Philip J Fry: A crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors!Big Brain: The Big Brain am winning again! I am the greetest!Big Brain: Ha ha ha! Now I am leaving Earth for no raisin!

72. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Philip J Fry: I’m gonna continue never washing this cheek again.

73. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Turanga Leela: Me? Award? Him? Me? Good?Judge: That’s just the kind of eloquence you’d expect from the owner of Dumbest Pet in Show!

74. 3ACV06: “Bendless Love”

Philip J Fry: That doesn’t look like an L at all! Unless you count lowercase.Bender Bending Rodriguez: You know we don’t!

75. 3ACV10: “Where the Buggalo Roam”

Amy Wong: Is that your camouflage reflex, or are you just happy to see me?

76. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Turanga Leela: Listen, buddy. By the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye!

77. 3ACV15: “I Dated a Robot”

Philip J Fry: I just saw something incredibly cool!Philip J Fry: A big floating ball that lit up with every color in the rainbow...Philip J Fry: some new ones that were so beautiful I fell to my knees and cried!Amy Wong: Was it out in front of Discount Shoe Outlet?Philip J Fry: Yeah.Amy Wong: They have a college kid wear that to attract customers.

78. 3ACV12: “The Route of All Evil”

Cubert Farnsworth: Well, well. If it isn’t my old friends, Stretch Pants...Cubert Farnsworth: ...No Pants...Cubert Farnsworth: ...and Idiot!

79. 3ACV15: “I Dated a Robot”

Philip J Fry: What part of that do I understand?

80. 3ACV12: “The Route of All Evil”

Dwight Conrad: I direct your attention to these forms, which I am presently engaged in handing to you.

81. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Narrator: Planet Express is on the move!Narrator: For this hip young delivery company, tomorrow is today, and today is yesterday.Narrator: You heard me.

82. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Mom: I’m melting! Oh, who would have thought a small amount of liquid would ever fall on me?

83. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Unit 2013: How’s it going, pal? Still picking up transmissions from the CIA on your teeth?Norm: They just won’t stop!Woman: The CIA cafeteria menu for the week of May 15th is as follows: Monday, shepherd’s pie.

84. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Philip J Fry: Everyone out of my body, or the brain gets it!Mayor: He’s bluffing! No creature would willingly make an idiot out of itself!Philip J Fry: Obviously you’ve never been in love!

85. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Philip J Fry: Ms Johnson, you’ve never lied to me. Am I still a good person?Suz Johnson: I don’t know, sir. I’m a program built into the intercom.

86. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: So do you know what I’m gonna do before I do it?Galactic Entity: Yes.Bender Bending Rodriguez: What if I do something different?Galactic Entity: Then I don’t know that.

87. 3ACV13: “Bendin’ in the Wind”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: Someone fat get in my way!

88. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Philip J Fry: I did it! And it’s all thanks to the books at my local library.

89. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Turanga Leela: I’m still seduced from before.

90. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Philip J Fry: A giant brain is basically a giant nerd. And where would a giant nerd be?Philip J Fry: The li-berry!

91. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Lord Nibbler: The fate of your world, perhaps all worlds, rests in his special mind.Turanga Leela: Now when you say ‘special’...

92. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Steve Castle: Awesome! Awesome to the max!

93. 3ACV17: “A Pharaoh to Remember”

Turanga Leela: We’re trying our best.Bender Bending Rodriguez: Your best is an idiot!

94. 3ACV10: “Where the Buggalo Roam”

Singing Wind: I am Singing Wind, chief of the Martian tribe.Zapp Brannigan: Take me to your leader.[pause]Singing Wind: Moving along.

95. 3ACV03: “A Tale of Two Santas”

Turanga Leela: This wangs chung!

96. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Man: As you can see, 1947 is going to be an eventful year for the town of Roswell, New Mexico.

97. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Turanga Leela: I love his boyish charm, but I hate his childishness.

98. 3ACV01: “Amazon Women in the Mood”

Femputer: Perhaps men are not as evil as Femputer thinks.Thog: But they make fun women’s basketball!Femputer: What?! Did you explain how the women’s good fundamentals...Femputer: ...make up for their inability to dunk?Ornik: Yes. They still laugh.Femputer: The men must die!

99. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: I’ll vote it down like a raise for schoolteachers!

100. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Philip J Fry: You mean we can never catch up to him?Philip J Fry: Not even if we rub the engine with cheetah blood?Turanga Leela: I don’t know how to say this, Fry, but Bender is doomed to drift through space. Forever.Philip J Fry: He always wanted to drift forever. But through the American Southwest.

101. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Philip J Fry: Hey, which crazy thing happening are you guys screaming about?

102. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Dr Adlai Atkins: I’ve never been good with words, which is why I’m in such a delicate conundrum.

103. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Judge Whitey: Counselor, what evidence do you offer to support this new plea of insanity?Hyperchicken: Well, for one, they done hired me to represent them.Judge Whitey: Insanity plea is accepted.

104. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Philip J Fry: Everything else in here held up okay.Bender Bending Rodriguez: Except ‘Sports’ by Huey Lewis.

105. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: You’re twice the ‘the’ he ever was!

106. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Amy Wong: What’s causing it? Is it my outfit?

107. 3ACV16: “A Leela of Her Own”

Philip J Fry: Human families need a TV when they’re eating, so they don’t have to talk to each other.

108. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: Hey, my antenna’s gone!Bender Bending Rodriguez: No, it just moved. I’m not getting good reception on it, though.Bender Bending Rodriguez: Maybe if I wiggle it around a little.Philip J Fry: Bender, no! You’ll make god cry!

109. 3ACV06: “Bendless Love”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: You call yourself divorced? You’re making a mockery of one of our oldest institutions!

110. 3ACV13: “Bendin’ in the Wind”

Beck’s head: That song doesn’t usually last three hours, but we got into a serious thing.Beck’s head: And then I forgot how it ended.

111. 3ACV05: “The Birdbot of Ice-catraz”

Free Waterfall Sr: That’s a good old fashioned gun. Simple point and click interface.

112. 3ACV10: “Where the Buggalo Roam”

Inez Wong: This not some parallel universe where you getting any younger!

113. 3ACV01: “Amazon Women in the Mood”

Philip J Fry: A female leader?Turanga Leela: Fry, shut up.Philip J Fry: Yes, Captain!

114. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Philip J Fry: Bender, if this is some kind of scam, I don’t get it. You already have my power of attorney.

115. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: I need a calculator.Philip J Fry: You are a calculator!Bender Bending Rodriguez: I mean a good calculator.

116. 3ACV07: “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid”

Morbo: Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter.Morbo: He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.Linda van Schoonhoven: It’s a T. It goes ‘tuh’.Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

117. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Narrator: You watched it, you can’t unwatch it!

118. 3ACV22: “The 30% Iron Chef”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: According to the spectralyzer, Spargle’s magic ingredient was...Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: ...water! Ordinary water!Hermes Conrad: No!Philip J Fry: Ah, so the real gift Spargle gave you was confidence.Philip J Fry: The confidence to be your best.Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Yes, ordinary water, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD.

119. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Turanga Leela: Fry, we’re worried about Planet Express.Philip J Fry: Don’t you worry about Planet Express. Let me worry about blank.

120. 3ACV12: “The Route of All Evil”

Cubert Farnsworth: Hey Leela, help me apply these flame decals I got in my cereal.Cubert Farnsworth: They’ll make the ship go faster.Turanga Leela: And what’s your scientific basis for thinking that?Cubert Farnsworth: I’m twelve.

121. 3ACV04: “The Luck of the Fryrish”

Turanga Leela: Well, someone’s in a good mode.

122. 3ACV06: “Bendless Love”

Philip J Fry: Wait, there on the screen! It’s that guy you are!

123. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Malachi: My lord, the infidels on your back no longer believe in you.Malachi: They say their prayers go unheeded.Bender Bending Rodriguez: Of course they’re unheeded.Bender Bending Rodriguez: How am I supposed to hear prayers coming out of my ass?

124. 3ACV22: “The 30% Iron Chef”

Philip J Fry: Hey, what’s with all the pots and pans? You building a wife?Bender Bending Rodriguez: Part of one. Meantime, I’m cooking up a tasty Sunday brunch for my best friends.Philip J Fry: Brunch. Right. I’d better warn... tell... warntell the others!

125. 3ACV11: “Insane in the Mainframe”

Philip J Fry: Hey, I don’t see you planning for your old age.Bender Bending Rodriguez: I got plans. I’m gonna turn my on/off switch to off.

126. 3ACV16: “A Leela of Her Own”

Turanga Leela: For once I was pitching, and not just belly itching!Hank Aaron XXIV: Oh, you got that too? I think there’s a rash going around.

127. 3ACV03: “A Tale of Two Santas”

Linda van Schoonhoven: In what has become a winter tradition...Linda van Schoonhoven: ...members of the Zarlon 7 Polar Bear Club today...Linda van Schoonhoven: ...took the plunge into a river of liquid ammonia.Morbo: There were no survivors.

128. 3ACV12: “The Route of All Evil”

Bender Bending Rodriguez: Ah, beer! So many choices, and it makes so little difference!

129. 3ACV05: “The Birdbot of Ice-catraz”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain can’t have either one.

130. 3ACV18: “Anthology of Interest II”

Philip J Fry: He’s dead.Prof Ogden Wernstrom: When did he die?Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Hmmm. About twelve hours ago, when the party started.Prof Ogden Wernstrom: But he just said ‘Woo’!Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: No, that was air escaping from the folds of his fat.

131. 3ACV19: “Roswell That Ends Well”

Philip J Fry: If it makes you feel any better, his body was vaporized...Philip J Fry: there’s no chance of him coming back as a zombie.Mildred Fry: I’m not worried about that.Philip J Fry: Then you’re a braver woman than I.

132. 3ACV16: “A Leela of Her Own”

Announcer: Your attention, please. Now pitching for the Mets, Turanga Leela.Announcer: A one eyed woman.

133. 3ACV21: “Future Stock”

Turanga Leela: Oh my god, I’m a millionaire! Suddenly I have an opinion about the capital gains tax!

134. 3ACV10: “Where the Buggalo Roam”

Amy Wong: Wait! I’m too rich to be kidnapped!

135. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Turanga Leela: Fry, I just want to try dating a normal man...Turanga Leela: ...who, if you go somewhere with him, no one says he’s crummy.Turanga Leela: I think I deserve that once in life.

136. 3ACV05: “The Birdbot of Ice-catraz”

Turanga Leela: I joined Penguins Unlimited to love penguins, not to hunt them!Free Waterfall Sr: This time the two are one and the same.

137. 3ACV03: “A Tale of Two Santas”

Turanga Leela: Wait! This is what we’re running from!

138. 3ACV09: “The Cyber House Rules”

Turanga Leela: She doesn’t need an operation! She’s fine the way she is!Dr Adlai Atkins: Oh, and I suppose you were fine the way you were?Turanga Leela: Damn right I was!Philip J Fry: Yay!Turanga Leela: Shut up, Fry!

139. 3ACV13: “Bendin’ in the Wind”

Turanga Leela: What’s that? One of those Jefferson Starships I’ve heard so much about?Philip J Fry: It’s called a van, and in light of the fact that it’s not a-rockin’, I invite you to come a-knockin’!

140. 3ACV01: “Amazon Women in the Mood”

Operator: The number you have dialed has crashed into a planet. Please make a note of it.

141. 3ACV14: “Time Keeps On Slippin’”

Turanga Leela: Cool your jets, hotshot!Philip J Fry: Come on Leela, why won’t you go out with me? We both know there’s something there.Turanga Leela: No, I mean, cool your jets. They’re melting Bender’s face.

142. 3ACV20: “Godfellas”

Turanga Leela: This is, by a wide margin, the least likely thing that has ever happened.

143. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: If we can stimulate that nerve, the bowel will convulse, expelling the entire worm society.Hermes Conrad: But what about the worms in the other parts of his body?Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Listen, this is gonna be one hell of a bowel movement!Prof Hubert J Farnsworth: Afterwards, he’ll be lucky if he has any bones left!

144. 3ACV02: “Parasites Lost”

Hermes Conrad: We gotta get someplace where he won’t stick his finger!Bender Bending Rodriguez: It’s hopeless! Abandon ship!