WEEKLY WHINE

The greatest draw that drawing has ever drawn

The draw for the 2019 Women’s World Cup will be held on Saturday. The pots will be allocated based on the DEC 2018 edition of the FIFA women’s rankings, which, in a dramatic twist that will shock no one who has observed FIFA’s historic achievements at procrastination, will be released the day before the draw.

However, the algorithm for computing the rankings has been made public. Therefore, theoretically, someone could decide not to wait for FIFA and to instead compute the rankings on their own. That someone was totally going to be Amber Lynn, but, in a dramatic twist that will shock no one who has observed GoobNet’s historic achievements at procrastination, she didn’t feel like it.

But if you feel like doing it, why not perform the draw yourself? We have started you off by assigning teams to pots based upon their positions in the SEP 2018 edition of the FIFA women’s rankings. Just drag the teams and drop them into any pot you like, select whether you want to activate confederation protection [which, if activated, will ensure that each group will contain no more than CEIL(N/6) teams from a given confederation, where N is the total number of teams from that confederation], and then get to it.

Once you’ve completed your draw, we invite you to send it to us at <goobnet‍@‍goobnet.net>. We will review all of the submissions and select our favourite draw. The winning draw will be presented to FIFA moments before the real draw in a plain envelope, which will also contain US$18,000,000 in cash and a note reading “Dear Gianni Infantino: For your consideration. Love, your favourite Saudi princes and anonymous Japanese investment bankers”.

Confederation protection

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DRAW TEAM DRAW GROUP

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