WEEKLY WHINE

Not making the cut

The following items were not deemed worthy of inclusion in the list of messages randomly selected at the top of every GoobNet page.

• ANSWER... DAILY DOUBLE! FIRST OF TWO ON THIS WEBSITE

• I'M CHARLES BARKLEY, AND GOOBNET IS GREAT – YOU CAN BET ON IT

• YOU HAVE BEEN VOTED OFF THE INTERNET. THE WEB HAS SPOKEN

• SHHH! THE HEALTH INSPECTOR IS HERE! KEEP QUIET ABOUT THOSE RATS ON THE MOTHERBOARD!

• NOT AFFILIATED WITH TOMMY CRUISE'S PUBLICIST... THANKFULLY

• I'M JACK ABRAMOFF, AND GOOBNET IS SO GREAT, I'M PRACTICALLY GIVING MONEY AWAY!

• URINE SAMPLE, PLEASE

• WE FORGOT WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

• I'M MEREDITH VIEIRA, AND GOOBNET IS NOTHING.... SHORT OF SPECTACULAR!

• NOW WITH HONESTY

• PROUDLY PRETENDING TO BE INFORMATIVE SINCE 1997

• I'M RAY NAGIN, AND GOOBNET IS A SHINING EXAMPLE OF A MINT CHOCOLATE WEBSITE

• SOON TO BE ON STEPHEN COLBERT'S "ON NOTICE" LIST

• VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER... TO THE QUESTION "WHAT GOES WITH SEX?"

• REDEEM THIS COUPON FOR A JOKE, SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY

• THIS UNIVERSE IS BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US. SO GO THERE