Interaction: Men's World Cup spectators

Myers: Good evening, and welcome to Gelsenkirchen, Germany. Yesterday of course, Argentina destroyed Serbia-Montenegro here at the Veltins Arena, and an important match is coming up right here on Wednesday between Portugal and Mexico. And of course, another crucial match has just kicked off over in Kaiserslautern, between the United States and Italy. Certainly this Men's World Cup has seen its share of exciting moments so far, but what do the fans make of it? Are they being thrilled and entertained? Are they panicking every time their team concedes free kicks? Are they watching the matches between their fingers, or even between their toes? Who better to answer these questions than the fans themselves, so here today on Interaction, we've convened a small supporters' summit, with fans of four nations represented here. And the first issue we'll discuss today is our Interaction IQ, the Initial Question. Today it's from Nigel, a Sweden fan in Köln. He asks where the best place to watch a match is if you can't get tickets. We'll go first to a fan of Sweden's next opponents, England, Ms Leslie Ayesworth.

Ayesworth: Well, Germany actually has a fair selection of tea rooms, most of which are showing the matches. The one I went to on Tuesday, just outside Stuttgart, was particularly enjoyable.

Myers: An Angolan expatriate who lives currently in Brussels, Mr Abalo Chogogo.

Chogogo: I have been here in Gelsenkirchen watching every match at the Glückauf-Kampfbahn. It cannot be beat.

Myers: A farm implement vendor visiting from Quito, Ecuador, Mr Yazobán Mazorra.

Mazorra: At the moment I am watching from a chair in our set here. Go! Go! Go!... Ahhhh!

Myers: And a student visiting from New York City, NY, USA, but supporting Japan, Ms Jenny Tsugashina.

Tsugashina: I've been watching in my friend's house in Zeven. It's great. She's got HD and everything. Everyone should come.

Myers: And I'm Debbie Myers. I've been watching from the World News Centre's Frankfurt bureau, surrounded by over 70 sets all showing the same match. Well, let's see what your impressions are of the tournament so far. For instance, have the matches been enjoyable?

Tsugashina: Oh, definitely.

Chogogo: Hell's yeah.

Myers: Abalo, which matches have you enjoyed so far?

Chogogo: Well, the Black Antelopes have been very good in their two matches, especially the draw against Mexico yesterday. I also enjoyed the opening match between Germany and Costa Rica, the Tunisia-Saudi Arabia match, and... what else? Oh, the Australia-Japan match. That was good too.

Myers: Jenny, which matches have you enjoyed?

Tsugashina: Well, I liked Tunisia-Saudi Arabia too. The Australia-Japan match sucked. I liked that one for the first eighty minutes or so. Argentina were really good yesterday. And then –

Mazorra: The fuck was that? That had nothing to do with the ball!

Tsugashina: What?

Mazorra: [points off camera] I'm watching this match.

Tsugashina: Oh.

Myers: Well, in any case, we'll be at this tournament for a few more weeks, culminating with our review programme during the third place match. So send in your questions each week for our panel, using any of the methods you see there, including telephone, E-mail, text message, facsimile, telegraph, snail mail, and giant banner at one of the World Cup matches. Don't worry; we'll be able to read it regardless of whether the authorities confiscate it. And tonight, we have plenty of good questions for our guests, starting with one from Matt in St Paul, MN, USA. Matt, are you there?

Matt in St Paul: Yeah. What the hell? I've been –

Myers: All right, good question. What the hell, Leslie?

Ayesworth: Beg pardon?

Myers: Matt asks what the hell.

Ayesworth: Well, to be quite honest, Debbie, I'm inclined to agree with him. What the hell?

Chogogo: I'll see your what the hell and raise you a what the fuck.

Tsugashina: I fold.

Chogogo: Well, what do you have?

Ayesworth: [surprised] I haven't got any cards!

Chogogo: Me neither!

Ayesworth: Well, I have a pair, [points to breasts] so I've got you beat.

Chogogo: Looks like a pretty low pair.

Ayesworth: Go engage in lewd activities with no other participants.

Myers: Well, with that, why don't we move on to another question. It's a text message from Victor, a Portugal fan in Frankfurt, where he clearly just watched Portugal's win over Iran earlier in the day. He asks if anyone can beat Portugal. Yazobán, can anyone beat Portugal?

Mazorra: Yes. Mexico will on Wednesday.

Myers: Really?

Mazorra: Yes. Portugal will end up second in Group D, and they'll lose again in the next round against Argentina.

Myers: Argentina, of course, with that superb performance yesterday in a 6-0 win over Serbia-Montenegro. How will Argentina do at this tournament, quickly?

Ayesworth: Runners up.

Chogogo: Semifinals.

Tsugashina: I think they'll win.

[Pause.]

Myers: Yazobán?

Mazorra: [distracted] What?

Myers: How will Argentina do?

Mazorra: Just a sec.

Myers: [sighs] What is it now?

Mazorra: Look at that! Nedved's bleeding!

Myers: Who is?

Mazorra: [points off camera] Pavel Nedved.

Myers: [looks off camera] That's Brian McBride.

Mazorra: No it's not.

Myers: Yes it is. This is the Italy-US match.

Mazorra: No it's not.

Myers: Of course it is. Look.

Mazorra: No it's not.

Myers: You're not starting that.

Mazorra: Yes I am.

Myers: Shut up. We can move on to one more question right now. Paola in München, are you there?

Paola in München: Yes, hi.

Myers: Hi Paola. Whom are you supporting?

Paola in München: G'uh! Brazil!

Myers: All right. And what is your question?

Paola in München: Well, I was at the match with Croatia. You might have seen me. I was the girl with the yellow bra with BRA on it.

Chogogo: Yeah, why do Brazilian fans always label their bras like that? I think people know what bras are.

Paola in München: Spl'uh! BRA is short for Brazil!

Chogogo: Sure it is.

Myers: In any case, what is your question, Paola?

Paola in München: I should like to know what World Cup drinking games we could participate in.

Tsugashina: Oh, I've got some!

Myers: Yes?

Tsugashina: You take a drink any time you're watching a match and they cut to a hot chick in the stands. Take a drink whenever they cut to a guy with a drum, or a guy with a painted face.

Ayesworth: What if it's a girl with a painted face?

Tsugashina: You still take a drink.

Ayesworth: And if you can't tell whether it's a guy or a girl?

Tsugashina: Take two drinks. You'll need them. Trust me.

Chogogo: I've got one. You take a drink whenever those snotty-ass European announcers bitch about how "nobody cares" about African or Asian teams, despite the fact that the best matches in the tournament have been the ones with African or Asian teams.

Tsugashina: Take a drink when the ref fucks up.

Chogogo: Or when a player fucks up.

Ayesworth: Like how?

Chogogo: Like if he takes a bad shot when he had a teammate wide open.

Ayesworth: Or an own goal?

Chogogo: Yes, or conceding a penalty.

Tsugashina: Take a drink whenever a hooligan is arrested.

Ayesworth: Or whenever a guy is so engrossed in the match that he loses track of the conversation.

Mazorra: What?

Ayesworth: [takes drink]

Myers: So Jenny, do you participate in these drinking games when you watch matches at your friend's house?

Tsugashina: Not usually. We have something else that we do.

Myers: What would that be?

Tsugashina: Well, she has a slave, and –

Myers: A slave?

Tsugashina: Yeah.

Myers: Isn't that illegal?

Tsugashina: But it's voluntary.

Myers: Then he wouldn't be a slave.

Tsugashina: She.

Myers: Then she wouldn't be a slave.

Tsugashina: Okay, fine. Inka has a sub. She won a bet, and so Stephi has to be her sub for the entire World Cup. So, whenever a goal is scored, we pour molasses over Stephi and shove a vibrator up her –

Myers: [hurriedly] Okay, I think that's all the time we have for this edition of Interaction at the 2006 Men's World Cup. Thanks to Ms Jenny Tsugashina, Mr Yazobán Mazorra, Mr Abalo Chogogo, and Ms Leslie Ayesworth for being here today. We'll be in Nürnberg next week as the second round gets underway, with guests to be announced. Keep up with us at our website, interaction.goobnet.net, to see when next week's guests are revealed. Until then, good night.

Mazorra: What?! How the fuck is that a red?

Myers: Is there any way we can not have next week's show during a match?