Westlake/​MacArthur Park

Rich: It’s now time for another edition of everyone’s game of strategy, knowledge, and direction finding. It’s Westlake/​MacArthur Park!

Nina: [sigh]

Rich: What?

Wen: Do we have to?

Rich: Yes.

Gaby: What are you two so bitchy about? I like it.

Jhonny: Me too.

Rich: So do I.

Nina: I forfeit.

Rich: We’re playing under modified Highbridge rules today. You can’t forfeit.

Nina: Fine. Then I play this game under protest.

Rich: Fair enough. Once again, modified Highbridge rules today. Jhonny, care to go first?

Jhonny: Sure, Rich. I’ll start at Laurel Canyon.

Gaby: Oh, good start. I’ll proceed onward to Hollywood and Highland.

Wen: Del fucking Amo.

Nina: Southwest cuntlicking Museum.

Rich: Well, I would certainly look forward to a trip to the Southwest Cunt Licking Museum. But until such a museum is opened, I think I’ll have to play to Chinatown.

Jhonny: Well done, Rich. I just don’t know where to go from there. Pico and Aliso, I suppose.

Gaby: Asshole.

Jhonny: What?

Gaby: I’m blocked now!

Jhonny: You are?

Gaby: Yeah! I don’t have a move!

Rich: You’ve got one.

Gaby: Just one?

Rich: Yeah.

Jhonny: Yeah, you’re right. There is one move.

Gaby: I can’t figure it out. Um... Arte- no, that’d be a parallel pipe. It’s got to be somewhere on the Blue Line, right?

Rich: Maaaybe.

Gaby: God, you fucking pricks! I mean, what the... no, wait, yes! Lakewood!

Wen: Universal ass clasping City.

Nina: Vermont and Santa rug munching shit painting Monica.

Rich: You know rug munching shit painting Monica too? I don’t know if her artwork really speaks to me or not, but it’s an idea. Okay, I think I’m going to try to change things around a little bit, so I’m going to do an Ealing shuffle to La Brea.

Jhonny: An Ealing shuffle?

Rich: Yep.

Jhonny: No, no, no. You can’t do an Ealing shuffle with no central diamond.

Rich: Didn’t we have a central diamond?

Jhonny: No, we didn’t.

Rich: Didn’t we do Hollywood and Highland to Del Amo to Southwest Museum?

Jhonny: Yeah, but that’s not a central diamond.

Rich: What are you talking about?

Jhonny: If you did Willow instead of Del Amo, you’d have a central diamond.

Gaby: Wait. We’re playing modified Highbridge rules, right?

Rich: Right.

Gaby: Then what’s the problem? What’s wrong with La Brea?

Jhonny: I told you. It’s an Ealing shuffle without a prior central diamond.

Gaby: Jhonny, it’s modified Highbridge. Vermont and Santa Monica to La Brea doesn’t count as an Ealing shuffle under modified Highbridge.

Jhonny: Really?

Rich: You’re right, Gaby. You’re totally right. It’s just a half-Stockwell shuffle.

Gaby: Exactly.

Jhonny: Okay. Well, then, in that case, I’m going to play to Aviation.

Gaby: Oh, you’re screwed now.

Jhonny: What? Why?

Gaby: That’s six tokens.

Jhonny: You’re right, it is.

Gaby: And you know what that means.

Jhonny: No, don’t. Not now.

Gaby: I have to. Duarte, beeyatch!

Rich: Ohhh! Great play! What do you want, Wen?

Wen: I want a violent death in front of a light rail train, you cocksucker.

Rich: Please use the station’s official name.

Wen: Grand.

Rich: Thank you. Nina?

Nina: Harbor brick diving wrist slashing ostrich egg laying gold shitting puppy punching pussy fisting Freeway.

Rich: That’s a bold move, Nina.

Nina: Why don’t you go piss on the third rail?

Jhonny: Harbor Freeway is Green Line. There’s no third rail – owww!

Rich: I think I’ll play to Woodley.

Jhonny: What else can I do? I gotta go back to Pico and Aliso.

Rich: Oh no!

Jhonny: What?

Gaby: Don’t you see?

Jhonny: What?

Gaby: Don’t you see my play?

Jhonny: What? You have to do, like, a bidirectional Howell-Peters maneuver now, right?

Gaby: No. I’ve got one other play.

Rich: That’s right.

Jhonny: Wait, you mean...

Gaby: That’s right.

Jhonny: But it’s off of a Saturday special!

Gaby: But we did visit Universal City.

Jhonny: No we didn’t.

Rich: Remember? Wen went there after Gaby played Lakewood?

Jhonny: Aw, shit!

Gaby: Exactly right. And that takes me to Westlake/​MacArthur Park!

Rich: Great job. Sorry, Jhonny. You nearly had that one. Seventeen moves, everyone. Another really great game. We’ll play again sometime real soon.