WEEKLY WHINE

Debbie’s greatest hits

Two weeks ago, of course, Debbie Myers hosted her last edition of Interaction, the interaction programme that allows you to interact with people who are under the impression that they are making news. This brought to an end a run of more than twenty years hosting the popular interaction programme. Many people of course have fond memories of their favourite interactions on Interaction, so let’s take a moment today to look back.

In these last two weeks, we have been receiving countless messages of support, congratulation, and befuddlement about Debbie’s decision to cease interacting with viewers. So she has failed to realise that with all of these further opportunities to interact, she is not yet done interacting with the public. But now that she has been made aware, she is rapidly ducking for cover as we chisel open the GoobNet Mailbox and see what everyone has to say to her.

Thanks for all the fun, Debbie. There is one moment in particular that I remember vividly. Remember that one time when that one guy said that one thing about that thing, and then you said that thing back to him? That was awesome.

– Kenneth Obupolupwe
Suffolk, England, UK

Debbie: You are surely imagining things. I don’t recall saying anything to anybody about anything.

I was never really a fan of the show. But I must admit, I’m sad to see you go. I’m not sure why, especially because Charlie is way hotter than you.

– DeWayne Cobbature
New York City, NY, USA

Debbie: I found some pictures of you on Facebook. You know who’s way hotter than you? Everyone. Especially your friend Duke.

There was a time not too far back when you criticised George W Bush. I thought that was funny.

– Betty Alexander
Fredonia, MD, USA

Debbie: That doesn’t sound like me. I would never criticise George W Bush. Not for overreaching and trying to deny the sovereignty of every other nation whilst simultaneously belittling the international community, or for a hopelessly optimistic world view that is not borne out by the facts, or for a disastrously lackadaisical attitude toward regulation of the financial markets and toward disaster relief, or for selecting nominees for key government positions based on friendship rather than competence, or for words and deeds that consistently drove his country apart and made those who disagreed feel marginalised. I would never criticise him for any of these things.

I liked your game show brackets last week. What about the NCAA tournament? Whom did you pick to win it all?

– Jawon Washington
Galveston, TX, USA

Debbie: I have Connecticut defeating Baylor in the final. My other Final Four selections were Tennessee and California-Los Angeles.

You British people are weird. Baylor isn’t in the tournament.

– Jawon Washington
Galveston, TX, USA

Debbie: Why, which tournament are you thinking of? The men’s tournament? The one where the players can’t go 1.6 seconds without committing a silly foul or trying to touch a ball that’s going out of bounds?

Remember Lactigirl?

– Melody Parker
Chapel Hill, NC, USA

Debbie: Yes.

Debbie, I would like to congratulate you on completing 21 successful years as host of Interaction. I would also like to extend an invitation to you to visit Pyongyang and perform a live edition of Interaction for me and a few hundred of my closest friends. If you accept, there is a guy waiting outside your flat right now. He will drive you to Gatwick airport, where a chartered plane is standing by to fly you to Pyongyang for a seven night stay at the Pyongyang People’s Hilton Resort and Spa, where you’ll relax in style with personalised treatment from the best and most attractive masseuses from other countries, primarily Nordic countries, all without ever having to see an average North Korean. The Pyongyang People’s Hilton Resort and Spa, where the extraordinary is commonplace. Then we’ll take you to the People’s Politburo Hall and Convention Center in the heart of bustling downtown Pyongyang, where you and four guests will put on the most exciting and exotic edition of Interaction the world has ever known, where you’re sure to receive the greatest and most innovative viewer questions ever, because they’re all posed by myself, the Dear Leader. And that’s all yours, but only if the price is right. And if the price isn’t right, just let me know, and I’ll have them pay you more. That’s the kind of guy I am.

– Kim Jong Il
Pyongyang, Korea DPR

Debbie: Not a chance. That sort of thing may work for Piers Morgan, but not me.

Thanks for the idea. I’m off to write a letter to Piers Morgan.

– Kim Jong Il
Pyongyang, Korea DPR

Debbie: Then go away.