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NOT PROVEN TO INCREASE INTELLIGENCE IN PARIS HILTON... BUT LET’S HOPE SO

WEEKLY WHINE

HEARTANDSOUL Phase 4 complete

Welcome, everyone. Let’s get started. Well, you just saw that first Desert Diamond Line train from Phoenix arrive here in Las Vegas. That represents a historic, long awaited milestone, and we all know what it is. Yes, the fourth and final phase of the GoobNet Highly Effective Accelerated Railway Transit for Accessing National Destinations with a Special Opportunity to Unify Locations train network is up and running!

It has been a long time in the making, that’s for sure. We’ve had a great many people giving of themselves to make all this happen. Just as we did when Phase 3 opened, we want you to take a minute and recognise all of them. Construction of the tracks is just the start. We had plenty of machinists building the cars of those trains you’re going to ride today. Plenty of people built, or expanded, these stations for today. I think you’ll agree that all of these stations are fitting sites for you to begin or end your train journey. And don’t forget our service staff. We have folks at every station helping you book tickets or load your bags, and every train has a full complement of attendants to make sure your trip is comfortable and safe. Thank you so much, all of you.

And what exactly have you accomplished during this last phase? Well, let’s take a look. Lines 4, 17, 25, and 90 are completely new. So central Florida, the Southwest, and the Northwest have witnessed an enormous expansion of service. In addition, Lines 15, 20, 40, and 95 have been completed. That means the Southeast and central South now have improved coverage.

Let’s also remind you of the service changes that were made with this new phase. The Miami-Jacksonville segment is now part of Line 95 rather than Line 10, and the Chicago-Minneapolis/​St Paul segment has been moved from Line 55 to Line 90. So please be aware of those changes.

So in this fourth phase, we’ve added more than ten thousand kilometres of new track. That brings us to a grand total of more than 33,000 km. We have 113 stations all together, of which 32 offer transfers to different lines. Those 113 stations service 42 of the 50 states, plus Washington, DC, and we also have service to Mexico and Canada.

There are some wonderful opportunities now available. For instance, if you would like to take a train from Los Angeles all the way to New York City, it will only take about 32 hours. It’s about 22 hours from Toronto to El Paso, and if you’re a Philadelphia Eagles fan who would like to attend your team’s game in Dallas, a sixteen hour trip will get you there. And with this latest expansion, the homes of all Major League Baseball teams and of all NFL teams, save for Green Bay, are available on our network.

But we’re not just going to rest on our laurels here. Not at all. We want this high speed rail network to be as effective and as accessible as possible. So we’re going to begin work on more passenger rail lines all across the country. This will include lower speed suburban rail lines that cover the areas surrounding major cities.

We’ll also have additional rail lines connecting our network to regions that didn’t quite make it in one of these first four phases. So fear not, Green Bay. You will be connected to Milwaukee. West Virginia, you’ll have service to Pittsburgh and Richmond. And upper New England, you’ll be able to reach Albany and Boston.

And our friends in Canada and Mexico are becoming involved as well. Having seen the success we’ve experienced here, they are currently planning their own networks of high speed rail lines to join with the connections that we’ve already built. So, we’ll all be working toward an incredible, state of the art network covering all of North America.

But for right now, we hope you’ll agree that the coverage that we are offering is quite impressive. And with this affordable alternative to air travel, there’s really no reason not to take advantage of this special opportunity and access any destination in this nation that you’d care to. So what do you say, everyone? Let’s all get on board the Western Rocky Express to Bozeman/​Yellowstone!

MAPS AND TIMETABLES

HEARTANDSOUL Phase 4 map

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