WEEKLY WHINE

You go Cheryl

Now that the group phase at the 2003 Women's World Cup is just about done, it's time to see what you the GoobNet readers had to say about it. Cannon fodder for our respondents included six, seven, and even eight goal matches, silly goals, silly players, silly hair, and silly pitches. To reveal what specifically you had to say about it, we'll take the GoobNet Mailbox into a cleanroom, sterilise our garments and tools, and open it up.

Did someone from Australia really say "I felt like the ball was attracted to me"? - Joan Rucksberg, Lawndale, CA, USA

Yes. Defender Cheryl Salisbury, who wears the captain's armband for the Matildas, said that after their 1-1 draw with China.

Aren't you going to make a joke about that? - Joan Rucksberg, Lawndale, CA, USA

What could we possibly add? "I felt like the ball was attracted to me" is humour at its finest. Although we should maybe point out that in that match, she did have a brief fling with the goalpost, but it just didn't treat her right.

Hey, I've got a great idea to get the WUSA started again. Have them play, and then after every match, divide up the money from the ticket sales amongst the players. - Latetia Dorn, West Philadelphia, PA, USA

Okay. And what about the coaches? The trainers? The office interns? The laundry staff? The broadcasters? The ushers? The ball kids? The halftime entertainment? The peanut vendors? The divot fixers?

So who's the most impressive player so far? - Tidra Lampoon, Helsinki, Finland

I think I'd have to go with Salisbury. She showed against China that damaged goods are still okay, having been carried off twice and still denying several goalscoring opportunities.

Tell the Kylie Bivens story! Tell the Kylie Bivens story! - Jake Ascott, Newport, RI, USA

Why bother? Just read it here.

Aren't you going to make a joke about that? - Jake Ascott, Newport, RI, USA

Why is there always such pressure on us to generate humour? Okay, fine. Over to Edvard for the joke:

Boy, wouldn't it be funny if she'd taken off her warmup jacket to reveal no shirt whatsoever? - Edvard van de Kamp

Why are men always incapable of observing women's sporting events without objectifying the players? - Astra Jobert, Hartlepool, England, UK

Hey! Do male players complain when women [and homosexual men] objectify them at their sporting events?

Of course we do! - Jeremy Shockey, East Rutherford, NJ, USA

Shut up.