WEEKLY WHINE

Stumped by a new variant

Has your workplace been affected by all the viruses going around? Ha ha!

You may not be worthy of a place behind GoobNet's firewall, but we can offer you some help with those viruses fighting each other on your hard drive. "Dynamite Eating" Edvard van de Kamp is the man who can offer you useful advice to fix your problems. Unless, of course, you write one or more of those many viruses, in which case the advice you need is in the hands of professionals. In any case, Edvard has received your questions and is now ready to render a verdict. And it's bad news for the defendants.

---

Dear Edvard: What exactly is the problem that's being exploited? – Tom Breck, St Vanatsas, Scotland, UK

Dear Tom: There's a portion of the Microsoft Plug and Play code where it gets a message, but it forgets to check if the buffer is big enough for it. So somebody could – and has – make a message extra long and put executable code in it.

---

Dear Edvard: Have you ever done that? – Nancy Scoob, Nome, AK, USA

Dear Nancy: No. Have you?

---

Dear Edvard: Wasn't the vulnerability only announced, like, last week? – Yoris Vutin, St Petersburg, Russia

Dear Yoris: Almost two weeks ago now.

---

Dear Edvard: Why wasn't my company affected? – Sonya Sabada, Manila, Philippines

Dear Sonya: Apparently because your IT people pressed the button that makes all of their computers download the patch. Bet they're pretty proud of themselves right now, aren't they. Let me guess. Right now they're sending out memos and posting news items on your intranet congratulating themselves and saying how great they are.

---

Dear Edvard: How did you know? – Sonya Sabada, Manila, Philippines

Dear Sonya: Our IT guy is doing the same thing.

---

Dear Edvard: Why doesn't somebody write a virus that goes around wiping viruses from everybody's computers? – Bryan McWhopley, San Sebastian, FL, USA

Dear Bryan: Wouldn't that mean it would wipe itself?

---

Dear Edvard: Haven't you gotten my virus yet? No, wait! Oh, what a giveaway! – Mick Puck, Heisingbinger, Germany

Dear Mick: The authorities are on their way.

---

Dear Edvard: Why does my computer keep rebooting whilst I'm trying to wr- – Veronique du Mup, Fort-de-France, Martinique

Dear Veronique: Because it's dumb.