WEEKLY WHINE

Who makes the squad?

We are minutes away from the 2006 Men's World Cup. 38,580 minutes, in fact.

But the question today is: who will be there, and who will play for their respective national teams? There is much upheaval and discussion in England, where Sven Göran Eriksson has selected Owen Hargreaves – who hasn't played for England in eight months – and Theo Walcott – who hasn't played for England in his seventeen year life. Ghana have replaced more than half of the players who appeared at the African Nations Cup earlier this year. And Oliver Kahn, named the best goalkeeper at Korea/Japan 2002, will not start for Germany.

So what do you think about all this? Are you smarter than the national team coaches? Judging from the comments that have made their way to us lately, we'd have to say hell no. So prepare for the worst as we cut open the GoobNet Mailbox, and use glass of at least 3cm thickness to view the messages found therein.

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Who should replace Christian Vieri? Lucarelli or Iaquinta? – Massimo Ruggieri, Parma, Italy

Udinese's Vincenzo Iaquinta, scorer of nine goals for Udinese in Serie A plus two more in the Champions League, has more international experience, though Christiano Lucarelli was the number four scorer in Serie A with twenty goals. Lucarelli probably has the upper foot for this reason.

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How could Domenech even think about putting Coupet in goal instead of Barthez? Barthez is obviously better and deserves to be France's number one again. – Georges Serioux, Marseilles, France

Neither keeper really stood out this season, did they? Gregory Coupet may be a French champion with Lyon, but that doesn't make him better. Fabien Barthez could be as good as he was in 1998, but wouldn't that be a departure from his recent form? In any case, Raymond Domenech has put off the decision for some time now, and he probably won't decide today as he previously indicated.

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Aaaaa! Shevchenko is injured! We're doomed! Dooooooomed! – Anatoly Blabtenko, Lviv, Ukraine

No you're not. Ukraine are not a one horse team. Andrey Rusol and Andriy Vorobey are important contributors to the Ukrainian side, and goalkeeper Alexandr Shovkovski has also made a difference despite his recent broken collarbone.

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Cuauhtémoc Blanco must go to Germany! GoobNet, please post this link http://www.[############].com/ to help me get the word out and inform Ricardo Lavolpe that he is wrong. – Leonardo Piñeda, San Antonio, TX, USA

Your site has been bleeped because we don't exist to advertise the works of others. And your site sucked anyway.

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Did you hear about Paraguay's coach saying that he was sad about Wayne Rooney getting hurt? That was nice of him. – Roger Talpoddy, Bedford, England, UK

We're not buying it. He had to have been laughing on the inside. And when he closed the door of his office, he probably started laughing on the outside right away.

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Do you think Saudi Arabia, Spain, and Tunisia are rooting for Shevchenko to stay injured? – Miguel Enneby, Perth Amboy, NJ, USA

Keep in mind that this tournament is being held in Germany, the land that gave us the word schadenfreude.

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Schwarzer the masked man is going to save Australia! Go Socceroos! – Kimberley Wendy Gregory-Vukojvic, Ararat, Vic, Australia

Between Shovkovski's broken collarbone, Mark Schwarzer's broken cheekbone, and Oliver Kahn's broken confidence, this isn't looking like a good year for goalkeepers.

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Salomon Kalou should be Dutch! There is an ongoing travesty that Salomon Kalou is being denied Dutch citizenship despite meeting all requirements except the language and culture test. I ask GoobNet to help me notify the world of this giant travesty by posting this site: http://www.[################].com/[#######]/. Thank you. – Samuel N'Dinna, Rotterdam, Netherlands

Shut up.