WEEKLY WHINE

Please do not retributate

Well, the 2006 Men's World Cup is moving closer to completion. Is your team in the last four? If so, jump up and say "All right!"

Go. Do it now.

Okay, now that we're through with that, shall we see what is coming up in the last week of the tournament? Or should we see what you think is coming up in the last week of the tournament? Yes, it looks like we'll have to make do with your poor attempts at prognostication, which we find in the GoobNet Mailbox. Please do not step in the yellow area until the door is completely open.

Who is the best player of the tournament? I think it's Lukas Podolski. – Jesse Kang, Houston, TX, USA

Yeah, Podolski's pretty good. Ronaldo is the new record holder, though, and the voters tend to like things like that.

That was an awesome match against Argentina! Do we have what it takes to win? – Tom Schinsting, Bremen, Germany

When you play Italy, your goal is to avoid being bored to death. No, seriously, Italy are going to be a challenge, but it looks like Germany are up to the task, doesn't it? You would have to think the Germans are the favourites at this point.

What happened to Ukraine tonight? How could we fail so spectacularly against Italy? – Yuri Revstratskiy, Lviv, Ukraine

A lot of people have been failing so spectacularly against Italy. Especially referees.

This is divine retribution, isn't it? Italy is getting paid back for what happened at the last World Cup. – Timo Wascotti, Palermo, Italy

And what exactly happened at the last World Cup? Italy played defensively and put themselves in a position where one call would put them at a severe disadvantage. If "divine retribution" means "learning your lesson", then yes, that's what this is.

I am leading a campaign to strike the Portugal-Netherlands match from the record books. It will be like it never happened. – Verne Chommorsky, Dundee, Scotland, UK

Good luck with that.

What a great performance for Ghana. How will this help Ghanaian football, and can we become the best in the world? – Spencer Gudu, Accra, Ghana

Well, it will help Ghanaian football by giving their players experience against the world's best, like Nedved, Toni, and Ronaldinho. Ghana won't qualify for the next World Cup, though. The African qualifiers are too strange to allow anything like that to happen.

How come you're not saying anything about the England-Portugal and Brazil-France quarterfinals? Those were great games. – Charlotte Mosque, Newcastle, Australia

They took place after the time of writing, but before the time of posting. Funny how that works.

That's not funny. It's just stupid. – Nick Abraham, Darwin, Australia

Shut up.