WEEKLY WHINE

HEARTANDSOUL Revision 1 Phase 1 complete

As you know, we are very excited about the success of the GoobNet Highly Effective Accelerated Railway Transit for Accessing National Destinations with a Special Opportunity to Unify Locations train network. But there is still a lot of work to do.

For example, you may have heard that SpaceX’s Elon Musk has a maglev train idea. We are of course totally stoked about this. However, we note with dismay that he totally doesn’t feel like building it right now. Elon, we will be pleased to do it for you. Our existing plans can equally well be applied to a maglev train system as a high speed railway system.

In the meantime, though, we have identified some corrections and changes that we need to make. We have eliminated the Lake Erie Loop line, which nobody understood anyway. Instead, we are combining it with the Music Crescent and designating it Line 71. As an added bonus, this finally adds the connection between Columbus and Cleveland that Drew Carey has been demanding.

So, allow us to release Revision 1 of the GoobNet Highly Effective Accelerated Railway Transit for Accessing National Destinations with a Special Opportunity to Unify Locations plan. Here now we present the revised first phase. You will notice no major differences at this point, other than the elimination of the Texpress designation for Line 35. It will now be designated the Central Time Express, consistent with its designation in later phases.

MAPS AND TIMETABLES

• Line 5: San Diego-Seattle
• Line 10: San Antonio-Jacksonville [includes Line 35]
• Line 35: Houston-Dallas/​Ft Worth [includes Line 10]
• Line 70: Kansas City-Philadelphia
• Line 80: Memphis-Philadelphia
• Line 95: Washington, DC-Boston