GoobNet

GoobNet menu

GoobNet

CAUTION: CONTENTS MAY BE REACTIONARY OR ILL INFORMED

WEEKLY WHINE

Rush to judgment

Not long ago, we ruled upon the various colour combinations that we were expecting to see this season in the NFL’s Colour Rush programme. Shortly after that, the league announced the actual combinations for this season, and we found that only the NY Jets-Buffalo, New Orleans-Carolina, and Dallas-Minnesota pairings were correctly forecast.

One thing we were not expecting is that each team has chosen one colour, which may not be substituted or exchanged. If the teams’ selected colours clash, one team must change to one of their normal kits; there are no Alternative Colour Rushes.

For example, the New York Jets chose green, and the Buffalo Bills chose red. The teams met one another in those kits last year, and the results would have been hilarious had they not also been depressing: millions of people with red-green colour blindness were unable to distinguish the teams. The same two teams played again this season, and whilst Buffalo wore red again, New York changed to their normal white away kits.

So what would this programme look like if it was truly a rush of colour? What would we see on Thursday nights if teams had a closet full of kits in various hues? What would happen if teams dared to imagine entirely new kits?

The GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED] did not go quite that far. But they did take the kits that each team has introduced and swap in other team colours to form alternative variants. In some cases, they even went off the board and selected a new colour to pay tribute to a team’s history, or its home city or state.

Now, for the first time ever, you can select the kits for an NFL game. Simply drag two teams of your choice onto the home and away boxes below. You will then be presented with several kit choices for each team. Can you come up with a better combination than the NFL? More importantly, can you come up with a combination that passes colour vision deficiency tests? Why not select your favourite combination and share it with Roger Goodell today?


AFC

WEST SOUTH NORTH EAST

Denver

Kansas City

Oakland

San Diego

Houston

Indianapolis

Jacksonville

Tennessee

Baltimore

Cincinnati

Cleveland

Pittsburgh

Buffalo

Miami

New England

NY Jets

NFC

WEST SOUTH NORTH EAST

Arizona

Los Angeles

San Francisco

Seattle

Atlanta

Carolina

New Orleans

Tampa Bay

Chicago

Detroit

Green Bay

Minnesota

Dallas

NY Giants

Philadelphia

Washington

AWAY

SELECT TEAM

HOME

SELECT TEAM

Away team helmet

Away team kit

Home team helmet

Home team kit

PLEASE SEND ALL TEXT-BASED SENSUALITY TO <GOOBNET‍@‍GOOBNET.NET>

© 2018 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]

THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: THU 06 DEC 2018 – 06:34:58 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.006 SECONDS