WEEKLY WHINE

No need to ask Larry

2016 was longer than 2015. That gave us more time to enjoy the US presidential election and all the other bizarre things that occurred over the course of the year.

We are, of course, using the word enjoy sarcastically. There was nothing to enjoy about the US presidential election. Even the fact that Melania Trump’s Republican National Convention speech was ripped off from Michelle Obama was, though hilarious, depressing.

Note: 2016 still, stubbornly, refuses to end. Therefore, if anything happens this week that negates any of these awards, we will destroy that award. We will do so with a callous disregard for anything or anyone that may be holding the award at the time.

GOOBNET 2016 REVIEW COMMITTEE MEMBERS

• Reginald J Goober, founder and CEO, GoobNet Enterprises, Inc [which doesn’t actually exist however]
• Amber Lynn, features editor, GoobNet
• Edvard van de Kamp, host, GoobNet’s Adventures of the Schmilblick Patrol
• Wen Jialuen, chair, GoobNet Special Projects Enhancement and Enforcement Division [SPEED]

Capt Chesley A ‘Sully’ Sullenberger Award for the Most Awesome Achievement

John OLIVER, United States

Amber Lynn says: John Oliver summed it up for all of us when he presented this summary of 2016.

Best Event

Successful Falcon 9 water landing, Atlantic Ocean

Reg says: On FRI 08 APR 2016, Falcon 9 flight 23 lifted off from Cape Canaveral, FL, USA. The first stage then landed successfully on a drone ship in the Atlantic Ocean. Three more Falcon 9 first stages landed successfully on the ship over the rest of the year, marking critical milestones on the path toward reusable launch vehicles.

Worst Event

Orlando shootings, United States

Reg says: The mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub on SUN 12 JUN 2016 was the worst in US history. But there were two other events in Orlando, one just two days before in which singer Christina Grimmie was killed, and one in February at the Glitz nightclub in which two people were killed. Dishonourable mention to flight LMI2933, the US presidential election, the British EU referendum, the Lahore Easter bombings, the Brussels bombings, Zika, North Carolina House Bill 2, the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge invasion, and the Louisiana floods.

Silliest Event

Animated “The Power of the Daleks”, United Kingdom

Amber Lynn says: Doctor Who fans were forced to survive on reruns all year until yesterday’s Christmas episode. Or so we thought. Last month, the BBC began releasing animated versions of each episode of “The Power of the Daleks”, a 1966 serial of which only audio recordings exist today. The presentation offered an eye opening look at how much television has changed in the last fifty years.

Robert Green Award for the Greatest Catastrofuckup

Cancellation of The Nightly Show, United States

Wen says: Comedy Central uncovered a diamond in the rough with The Nightly Show. During their 259 episodes, Larry Wilmore and a variety of contributors tackled some of the most important, but least discussed, issues in modern society. Tampon taxes, food deserts, sexual assault, college roommates, police racism, the Flint, MI water crisis, and Earth’s shape all received more attention on The Nightly Show than they did on most serious news programmes. And what did Comedy Central do with this programme? Introduce a massive advertising campaign highlighting The Nightly Show as “the best show you’re not watching”? Not quite. They cancelled it and filled the slot with another one of their programmes in which comedians talk about Internet videos.

Disease of the Year

Zika

Edvard says: The Zika virus highlighted the public health crisis that much of South America faces. Access to health care is a continuing issue, and many places, including favelas in Rio de Janeiro, do not have access to proper sewage.

Least Required Film

Suicide Squad, United States

Edvard says: Which one was this again? The one with Harley Quinn?

Amber Lynn says: This was the one where the government gets imprisoned supervillains, like Harley Quinn and the Joker, to execute clandestine missions on their behalf. It was the third film in the DC Extended Universe.

Edvard says: More like the DC Overextended Universe, amiright?

Heath Ledger Memorial ‘Why So Serious?’ Award for Excellence in Satire

The Nightly Show, United States

Wen says: Another area in which The Nightly Show excelled was in sending up the news media’s tendency to reduce everything to pointless debates and cover serious issues with exactly the wrong tone. Honourable mention to The Daily Show’s trip to North Carolina to serve up some good old fashioned homestyle discrimination.