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FILLING YOUR NON-SEQUITUR NEEDS SINCE 1997

WEEKLY WHINE

Stump Edvard without paying to play

There are currently ten known candidates for the presidency of the US Soccer Federation. Some, like Carlos Cordeiro, are already associated with the federation. Others, like Steve Gans, are outsiders who believe that the federation needs change starting at the top.

Do you have a preferred candidate? Probably not, because it is still early in the process, and not all of the candidates have made their positions clear just yet. But at this point, you should have an idea of what issues are important to you, whether it is the youth development system, the national team leadership, promotion and relegation, the governance of the federation, or any of the other issues that US Soccer faces.

There are a number of candidates and a number of relevant issues, so how can you make sense of everything? The answer, obviously, is by asking someone who is not American and is therefore completely objective. That someone, just as obviously, is “Dynamite Eating” Edvard van de Kamp. He has received your questions about the US Soccer presidential election, and he is now ready to present his answers.


Dear Edvard: There are a lot of candidates entering the US Soccer election. Are there any common themes the candidates are raising?

– JT McWarter
Closed Springs, AL, USA

Dear JT: There are a few. Several, like Kyle Martino, argue that the presidency is a full time position and that the office holder should be salaried accordingly. Some, like Martino and Michael Winograd, also want greater transparency in US Soccer’s decision making process, particularly in hiring national team coaches. Other common themes include equal treatment for the women’s national team, separating responsibility for footballing and business matters into separate positions, and giving all stakeholders, including youth and adult amateur clubs, a say in the decision making process.


Dear Edvard: Which candidate in the US Soccer election is most likely to win?

– Jordan Swift
Santa Ana, CA, USA

Dear Jordan: At this point, I suspect that Steve Gans is most likely to win, because he is one of the candidates who most wants to give a voice to youth and amateur adult leagues. The youth and adult councils have 25.8% of the vote each, so they are likely to swing the election. He is also in favour of equal pay and equal treatment for female players, which is likely to earn him a significant share of the athletes council, holders of 20% of the vote.


Dear Edvard: Am I the only one who is opposed to the idea of Kathy Carter as US Soccer president? She is a very good marketing executive, sure, but that is not what US Soccer needs right now. It needs somebody who understands the sport and who can improve the national teams.

– Gabrielle Jaynes
Cocoa Beach, FL, USA

Dear Gabrielle: She is being seen as a businesswoman, but Kathy Carter also has plenty of experience with the game at a technical level, including a playing career and a stint on FIFA’s committee for women’s football.


Dear Edvard: I’ve been reading about the US Soccer presidential election, but now I’m more confused than ever. Some of the candidates are talking more about business, but others are talking more about the game. Is the US Soccer president in charge of the game, or the business?

– Justine Bakker
Fort Worth, TX, USA

Dear Justine: Both. Some candidates, like Eric Wynalda and Kyle Martino, are more likely to concentrate on football. Others, like Kathy Carter and Carlos Cordeiro, are more likely to concentrate on the business. Still others, like Steve Gans, have shown significant interest in both. But the federation president is in charge of everything the federation does.


Dear Edvard: I’ve heard Eric Wynalda talk about what he wants to do with US Soccer. He wants to make some big changes, like moving MLS to a winter season. Is he the most radical candidate?

– Dan Saltville
Orchard Park, NY, USA

Dear Dan: Eric Wynalda is certainly one of the most likely to change the status quo. You should vote for him if you want to fuck up some shit in US Soccer, and if you think the federation’s president should concentrate on football rather than business.


Dear Edvard: Hope Solo is running for US Soccer president? Wasn’t she arrested for domestic assault?

– Anneke van Hackberg
Federal Way, WA, USA

Dear Anneke: Hope Solo was arrested on domestic violence charges three years ago. A judge dismissed the charges, but prosecutors successfully appealed that decision. The case still has yet to be completed.


Dear Edvard: Does Paul Lapointe really have a chance to win the US Soccer election?

– Shayna Washington
Alexandria, VA, USA

Dear Shayna: Yes. Paul Lapointe wants to make changes to the youth development system, but he plans to do so incrementally, so he may earn support from portions of the youth council that want to influence the types of changes that he makes.


Dear Edvard: Who are you supporting in the US Soccer presidential election?

– Melanie Barros y Estrela
New York City, NY, USA

Dear Melanie: At this moment, I would like to formally announce that I do not intend to endorse anyone for the presidency of US Soccer. I would also like to formally announce my endorsement of Wen’s description of my decision as a copout.

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