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WEEKLY WHINE

2019 GoobNet Futurama Dialogue Championship: Brackets

We are pleased to announce the brackets for the first GoobNet Futurama Dialogue Championship, determining Futurama’s best dialogue of all time. The items have been allocated into the brackets based upon the conferences that we revealed earlier in the year:

We have selected our hosts from amongst prominent locations in Futurama. The regional semifinals and finals will be hosted by the Neutral Planet, robot homeworld Chapek 9, Decapodian homeworld Decapod 10, and Mars. The final two rounds will be hosted by the sewers of New New York City.

So, these are the brackets. Now it is your turn. Fill in your bracket by clicking your preferred item in each pair. Then advance through the rounds until you reach the final. At that point, you will have determined the best dialogue in Futurama’s history.

You may then submit your bracket to the GoobNet Sustained Network Utilisation for Superior Nomenclature Underwriting, our advanced system that compiles overall statistics for all Futurama dialogue and uses them to recombine your favourite dialogue into new lines that you will like even more, such as “I’ll show commence!”.

NEUTRAL PLANET REGIONAL

OSIRIS 4 SECTIONAL

 

 

 

 

01. “But you’re better than normal! You’re abnormal!” [WLC; 3ACV09]

16. “Me? Award? Him? Me? Good?” [TLC; 3ACV07]

 

 

08. “The cat! Is it alive or dead? Alive or dead?!” [SRC; 6ACV16]

09. “So every religion is wrong!” [SCC; 3ACV07]

04. “You were in a zoo!” [BBRC; 7ACV17]

13. “If I don’t survive, tell my wife: Hello.” [WLC; 2ACV02]

 

 

05. “Insane theories one, regular theories a billion!” [SCC; 3ACV17]

12. “And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn’t go too far enough!” [WLC; 2ACV03]

OMICRON PERSEI 8 SECTIONAL

 

 

02. “I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence.” [TLC; 4ACV04]

15. “Yahoo!” [SRC; 1ACV01]

 

 

07. “I don’t have any godda-[bzzt] motherf-[bzzt] anger issues!” [TLC; 5ACV09]

10. “We’ll meet you tonight for part of dinner and the first half of a movie.” [TLC; 3ACV01]

03. “I want to hear how it ends.” [TLC; 4ACV18]

14. “Nope!” [PSC; 4ACV10]

 

 

06. “It does on ‘CSI: Miami’!” [SRC; 6ACV02]

11. “Leela, you’re 999,999 in a million.” [TLC; 3ACV09]

CHAPEK 9 REGIONAL

ETERNIUM SECTIONAL

 

 

 

 

01. “I’ll go build my own lunar lander! With blackjack! And hookers!” [BBRC; 1ACV02]

16. “I always thought by this point in my life, I’d be the one making the crank calls!” [PJFC; 1ACV01]

 

 

08. “No, not the explosion!” [PJFC; 3ACV14]

09. “You know the answer, you scurvy bastard.” [BBRC; 7ACV21]

04. “I don’t want to live on this planet any more!” [PSC; 6ACV09]

13. “I don’t like the font.” [MARC; 3ACV08]

 

 

05. “...For the love of god, don’t not do it!” [MARC; 3ACV19]

12. “Welcome to Debate 3012, the 3012th debate of the 3012 election year.” [SCC; 7ACV03]

SPHERON 1 SECTIONAL

 

 

02. “Shut up and take my money!” [SCC; 6ACV03]

15. “When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all.” [MARC; 3ACV20]

 

 

07. “I never even knew you had an ass.” [BBRC; 7ACV21]

10. “That’s not something I would know.” [PSC; 7ACV24]

03. “All glory to the Hypnotoad.” [MARC; 3ACV07]

14. “But what is it really?” [PJFC; 1ACV13]

 

 

06. “Noticeably F.A.T., rewind the tape!” [PJFC; 3ACV04]

11. “Help me, Leela!” [PJFC; 1ACV02]

DECAPOD 10 REGIONAL

WORMULON SECTIONAL

 

 

 

 

01. “No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!” [SRC; 3ACV04]

16. “The bourgeois human is a virus on the hard drive of the working robot!” [BBRC; 2ACV14]

 

 

08. “But that’s not revelant!” [WLC; 6ACV08]

09. “I’m scaroused!” [WLC; 6ACV22]

04. “Then imagine we said those things, since we couldn’t think of any.” [SCC; 6ACV04]

13. “I don’t understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it!” [SRC; 6ACV09]

 

 

05. “No one’s saying that. But I’m certainly thinking it loudly.” [WLC; 4ACV12]

12. “Thank god most of our fans are huge perverts!” [SRC; 6ACV20]

AMAZONIA SECTIONAL

 

 

02. “...And my mouth feels like it’s stuffed with peanut butter, even when it’s not.” [PJFC; 3ACV02]

15. “You know! A headache, with pictures!” [PSC; 4ACV05]

 

 

07. “Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr I’m-My-Own-Grandpa!” [PSC; 3ACV19]

10. “We’re talking about lots of stuff!” [MARC; 6ACV04]

03. “Do I, Philip J Fry, take you, Turanga Leela, to be my lawful wedded wife?” [PJFC; 7ACV26]

14. “Bender, this is Fry’s decision. And he made it wrong.” [TLC; 3ACV15]

 

 

06. “I keep telling you, we didn’t grow up together!” [BBRC; 7ACV22]

11. “I refuse to believe anyone is happy!” [MARC; 6ACV14]

MARS REGIONAL

AMPHIBIOS 9 SECTIONAL

 

 

 

 

01. “You’ll be back to zero soon enough.” [PSC; 2ACV07]

16. “I’m sciencing as fast as I can!” [WLC; 5ACV01]

 

 

08. “...Everyone’s titty much protally fitshaced.” [MARC; 6ACV17]

09. “I’m afraid we need to use... math!” [SRC; 6ACV10]

04. “Welcome to academia.” [SRC; 6ACV08]

13. “My little meatbag’s growing up!” [BBRC; 7ACV26]

 

 

05. “That’s the only thing about being a slave.” [PSC; 3ACV17]

12. “...You can work and be lazy at the same time. It’s like being a voice actor!” [BBRC; 7ACV06]

RUMBLEDY-HUMP SECTIONAL

 

 

02. “Stop the end of the world sex!” [MARC; 7ACV02]

15. “Just as in human society, only the biggest, most obnoxious males have any chance of mating.” [SCC; 7ACV13]

 

 

07. “But is there anything useful we can do?” [SCC; 3ACV20]

10. “I mean, eviler.” [PJFC; 1ACV05]

03. “Full power to the vagyroscope!” [WLC; 5ACV14]

14. “One of the hundreds of contradictory prophecies is coming true!” [SCC; 7ACV02]

 

 

06. “Wanna go around again?” [TLC; 7ACV26]

11. “Is that blimp accurate?” [PSC; 1ACV01]

SEWER FINAL ROUNDS

 

 

 

 

 

 

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