WEEKLY WHINE >> 2011
MON 26 DEC 2011
“Here’s how to send 2012 a letter.” See what your future self will think of your past self in Just Make the Call Already.
MON 19 DEC 2011
“The tournament then proceeds much as the present NCAA DI championship tournament, with the added benefit that we have finally eliminated those annoying ‘play in’ games.” Confront your fear of the Bulldogs of the University of North Carolina at Asheville in Collegiate Men’s Basketball: ARRRGH!.
MON 12 DEC 2011
“I cannot comment on that, as your team did not give me permission to speak with you.” See why nobody cares if we here at GoobNet are tampering in Vetoed Trades Stump Edvard.
MON 05 DEC 2011
“This offseason, fans are excited not about a new signing or a big trade, but about the cartoon oriole returning to the team’s cap.” Fix the world, one league at a time, in Occupy Your Team’s Stadium.
MON 28 NOV 2011
“You could run away from the world and become a hermit.” Determine whether hermits have good Internet connections in The Latest from Earth.
MON 21 NOV 2011
“Here is your opportunity to find out.” Take the GoobNet Los Angeles Freeway Quiz in The GoobNet Los Angeles Freeway Quiz.
MON 14 NOV 2011
“And anyway, somebody else wrote that one.” Rest assured that it’s totally not our fault in This Page Will Take One Second More than Normal.
MON 07 NOV 2011
“This is the shortest line and was never actually built.” Find out when a subway is not a subway in Join the Joyous Metro Conquerors.
MON 31 OCT 2011
“I’m so against health care, I cheat on my wife when she’s in the hospital!” See if he got better in Are You Ready For Some Beagles?.
MON 24 OCT 2011
“It will blow your mind, and improve your teeth.” See what those teeth in ancient times did in The Elements of Your Life.
MON 17 OCT 2011
“Do you have a body? If you do, it is made up of atoms.” See if your body works automatically or atomatically in Fastest Finger Fest: Periodic Table Edition.
MON 10 OCT 2011
“Know any good hydrogen atoms who could join us?” See who is available for a covalency call in What’s Your Element?.
MON 03 OCT 2011
“If you aren’t keeping up with it, your body could be comprised of obsolete elements like beryllium.” Initiate a major campaign to replace all your beryllium with magnesium in The GoobNet Element Quiz.
MON 26 SEP 2011
“Surely that’s worth more to you than seven US bucks per kilogram.” See why an indium I beam is better than a stack of indium sheets in Step Away from the Balloon.
MON 19 SEP 2011
“If you live on a planet that is inhabited by humans, it is even more annoying.” See what Oberon has to offer in Over the Shoes.
MON 12 SEP 2011
“Wish who were here? Al Gore and who else?” Watch for obnoxious robots in Subjunctivitis.
MON 05 SEP 2011
“Want to visit City Hall, Grand Central, and Pelham Bay Park?” Determine whether you should get off at Spring St in Semicolon Train Remains Inactive.
MON 29 AUG 2011
“Some teams have even had multiple home cities in the same season; you must find all of those cities for each team.” See if your geographic skills are good enough in Keeping Up with the Clippers.
MON 22 AUG 2011
“These and many other thrilling moments will be yours to see, if the price is right.” Be sure to avoid a double overbid in Increased ARRRGH! in Collegiate American Football.
MON 15 AUG 2011
“Eight European nations were selected randomly for our team of prognosticators.” See who is going to stop Aberystwyth Town [everyone] in Far from Unlikely.
MON 08 AUG 2011
“Because you know that’s exactly what they want to do.” Having already determined what the enemy wants to do, determine who the enemy is in Stump Edvard with Antimatter.
MON 01 AUG 2011
“Now that FIFA have finally increased the number of international match dates, this format actually makes sense.” Get swindled into agreeing with Sepp Blatter in We’ll Tell You How to Kick Off.
MON 25 JUL 2011
“You will also find exclusive Internet only features about each of these stories on our Twitter account.” See why we never have more than 140 characters to say about anything in Things Are Currently Not All That Pleasant.
MON 18 JUL 2011
“Didn’t think we’d go that way, did you?” Determine your disappointment in our directional decisions in Commence Basking Immediately.
MON 11 JUL 2011
“How do we know that you’re not the evil twin?” Understand the beeps in Schmilblick Patrol: Gyoengyi Gaal.
MON 04 JUL 2011
“Have you any idea how inefficient that is?” Determine the optimal way to allocate people to their desired locations in Do Not Pack It With Your Knives.
MON 27 JUN 2011
“The team need only be issued with cigarettes and bérets to complete the stereotype.” Avoid getting sweat on your sweatsuit in Yes, Your Outfit Is Causing It.
MON 20 JUN 2011
“What better way to celebrate the end of the German draft?” Hope that German lager is not also ending in Rising Excitement, Falling Conscription.
MON 13 JUN 2011
“Actually, that’s good advice for all teams: Don’t complain about the schedule.” Take our advice with the entire container of salt in Another Chance for Baseball to ARRRGH!.
MON 06 JUN 2011
“We Dutch don’t take too kindly to that sort of talk about speed skating.” Be aware of which lane you should occupy in Schmilblick Patrol: Lisle Austin.
MON 30 MAY 2011
“I can’t actually play it, but if I could, I would know how.” See if we are talking about Battleship or Risk in For Fairness, For Honesty.
MON 23 MAY 2011
“However, the black was added just to sell more shit.” See exactly how much shit is the correct amount to sell in What Your Baseball Team Should Wear.
MON 16 MAY 2011
“You would not have a Dustbuster, Tang, or Velcro were it not for space travel.” Measure your finger speed in microgravity in Fastest Finger Fest: Space Edition.
MON 09 MAY 2011
“Last week, we were all witnesses to the massive announcement that the data from NASA spacecraft Gravity Probe B confirms two key predictions of general relativity theory.” See if your orbit has precessed less than you anticipated in Has Your Frame Been Dragged?.
MON 02 MAY 2011
“You should swim only in designated swimming places, like pools and holes.” Put safety first in Public Privacy.
MON 25 APR 2011
“What’s my budget for this task?” Confirm that we always have awesome solutions for everything that will always work as long as someone fronts the money in The GoobNet SPEED Fixes Los Angeles Traffic.
MON 18 APR 2011
“It couldn’t be any more convenient for you.” Receive free gifts in Traffic Doesn’t Stump Edvard.
MON 11 APR 2011
“Nobody knows quite how this came about or why this is popular all of a sudden, but it is.” Explain the unexplainable in Look Forward to the Back Collar.
MON 04 APR 2011
“Which element, if removed from Earth, would cause the most disruption without resulting in the extinction of humanity?” Find out if we really do need our lithium in Administrative Notes for APR 2011.
MON 28 MAR 2011
“There was a real Ichabod Crane?” Count the heads in For Tetherball Enthusiasts.
MON 21 MAR 2011
“That sort of thing may work for Piers Morgan, but not me.” Enjoy your last opportunity to interact in Debbie’s Greatest Hits.
MON 14 MAR 2011
“Here are the results of the first GoobNet British Game Show Championship, determining the British game show that best captures the British ideals of testing knowledge and acting in a condescending manner toward those whose knowledge is lacking.” See who will take the next Walk of Shame when we return to the 2011 GoobNet British Game Show Championship.
MON 07 MAR 2011
“You can get totally sauced now you haven’t got to prepare for next week.” Retroactively enjoy the weekend that was ahead of us but is now behind us in Interaction: The Past.
MON 28 FEB 2011
“The challenge is enormous.” Discover what we will all be witnesses to in The Replacement.
MON 21 FEB 2011
“And it’s about to get even stranger.” See how much longer Scott Walker can remain anonymous in It’s a Collective Bargain!.
MON 14 FEB 2011
“Of course, it is not just any computer, and they are not just any humans.” See if your signalling device is not just any signalling device in Surprise Me, Watson.
MON 07 FEB 2011
“Complete this box such that each row, column, and diagonal contains exactly one asterisk.” Figure out where the calculators would go in Do Not Fuel Your Lighter with It.
MON 31 JAN 2011
“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the results of the World Group of the 2011 Davis Cup, the 100th edition of the tournament, and of the World Group of the 2011 Fed Cup, the 49th edition.” Welcome a new keyword to the tie in Now Acquiring Schwank.
MON 24 JAN 2011
“So the question is: Have your newspaper horoscopes been wrong this whole time? And the answer is: Who cares?” Determine whether Quaoar is rising in Ophiuchus in Welcome to the Party.
MON 17 JAN 2011
“I heartily recommend creating this article and seeing how long it lasts before Wikipedia undergoes a total existence metacrisis.” Prove that everything we say is a lie – except that – and that – and that – and that – in Please Report All Exploding Whales.
MON 10 JAN 2011
“You know what you did, basketball.” Determine whether David Stern has any shame in We Too Avoid Heat’s Hotel.
MON 03 JAN 2011
“I’m gonna start a band called Embarrassingly Awesome.” See their opening act, Nekkid Gra–What?!, in Slippery When Awesome.
PLEASE SEND ALL FIREWOOD TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2018 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: THU 06 DEC 2018 – 06:35:00 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.215 SECONDS