WEEKLY WHINE >> 2012
MON 31 DEC 2012
“We here at GoobNet are still hard at work on our machine that makes things stop happening, but with little to no success so far.” Experience our regret at our inability to make One Direction stop happening in Kitchen Prognosticational.
MON 24 DEC 2012
“There are many cities around the world that have more than one football club.” Determine whether La U would totally kick Alianza’s ass in The GoobNet Global Football Derby Quiz.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Interactive
MON 17 DEC 2012
“The land that gave America its own oven.” Find out the location of America’s Panini Press in Wholly Objective Indexing of States.
Keywords: Variety, United States
MON 10 DEC 2012
“You thought the stop sign guy was a gorilla?” Discover whether the Ampelmännchen was actually three roosters and a vole in Schmilblick Patrol: Michel Platini.
Keywords: Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Sport, Football
MON 03 DEC 2012
“Criteria include layout and ease of navigation, design, quality, services, and airlines serviced.” Find out why we need so many Wolfgang Puck Expresses in Assessment of Major Terminals.
MON 26 NOV 2012
“I’m sure they have people for that.” Receive an offer to which you can’t say BeckhaMaybe in Wherein the GoobNet SPEED Considers the Future of Dave Beckham.
MON 19 NOV 2012
“Presumably that is due to the city’s desire to stay classy.” Determine what we’re yelling about in Yet Another Reason to Wear Long Sleeves.
MON 12 NOV 2012
“Other than ‘everyone should vote’, ‘everyone and their mother should vote’, and ‘seriously, get your sorry ass out there and vote’, there are not many lessons.” See whose mothers’ sorry asses failed to vote in Meticulous Mathematical Analysis of This Week’s Results.
MON 05 NOV 2012
“The funds raised will be exchanged for United States dollars, which are only slightly less silly than GoobNet Silly Bucks.” Discover what human beings are good at as we bring you Updates Regarding GoobNet Halloween Events.
Keywords: Variety, Halloween, Administrivia
MON 29 OCT 2012
“GoobNet recommends a no vote and severely questions that said rights were ever under threat.” See if our constitutional amendment to guarantee the right to cookies will succeed in Guide to 2012 US Ballot Measures.
Keywords: Politics, Propaganda, Support, United States
MON 22 OCT 2012
“Everybody gets a car!” See how you can win fabulous GoobNet prizes in Here Is Your First Subject.
Keywords: Variety, Game shows
MON 15 OCT 2012
“Your life has continually been hampered by people who are not excellent to each other.” Avoid all things bogus in How to Become a Dude Who Parties On.
Keywords: Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes
MON 08 OCT 2012
“This was actually the subject of some very heated discussions here at GoobNet headquarters.” Discover who totally has an irrational hatred directed at the ineligible man downfield signal in Forty Third Down.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL
MON 01 OCT 2012
“The game recap hilariously listed the unsportsmanlike conduct as a 20 yard penalty.” Decide how many yards a thoughtless opining penalty would be in Seventeenth Down.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL
MON 24 SEP 2012
“We have still been unsuccessful in launching our 24 hour sports news network, for reasons that will forever be a mystery to us.” Determine whether Commissioner Dole is available on such short notice in Flags That We Will Pick Up.
MON 17 SEP 2012
“Note that peanuts are taken.” Vote for animal crackers or rice cakes in The Charms of Shreveport.
Keywords: Variety, Misfortune Cookies, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 10 SEP 2012
“And with this affordable alternative to air travel, there’s really no reason not to take advantage of this special opportunity and access any destination in this nation that you’d care to.” Get all your ΔΠΔ brothers and sisters together on the Spring Break Express to HEARTANDSOUL Phase 4 Complete.
Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 03 SEP 2012
“The Parking Point Designator or PPD angle, which the PM pilot gives her from the PGNS, tells her where to look along the horizontal scale to find the place where the computer thinks they are going to park.” Indicate to the computer that there’s no way you are going to fit between those two SUVs as you make An Eagerly Anticipated Arrival.
MON 27 AUG 2012
“Many of you are here today.” Make sure that everyone woke up in time to get off at Tucson in HEARTANDSOUL Phase 3 Complete.
Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 20 AUG 2012
“So I guess you could call this a catastro-Feck-up.” Come to the conclusion that we are making no Fecking sense as you discover that Gosh, That Wang is XL.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee
MON 13 AUG 2012
“It has been far too long.” Know how long is long enough in Copper and Marshmallows.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics
MON 06 AUG 2012
“What kinds of things are not acceptable to tweet?” Determine whether you should keep your thoughts about the number of Africans in Greece to yourself [hint: ναι] in Stump Edvard and Win a Gold Medal.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Summer Olympics
MON 30 JUL 2012
“Information below is accurate, if at all, as of SUN 29 JUL 2012.” Come face to face with another opportunity to locate the GoobNet Super Factual Error in Please Proceed Directly to Some Other Lane.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics
MON 23 JUL 2012
“You can now access the home cities of seventeen of the nineteen Major League Soccer clubs.” Be impatient for the addition of the Rocky Mountain Cup in HEARTANDSOUL Phase 2 Complete.
Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 16 JUL 2012
“Dude, seriously, that LA to Vegas line cannot open soon enough.” Dude, you should totally talk to that hot chick in the next car on Connections Available During Phase 1.
Keywords: Community, Mailbox, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 09 JUL 2012
“You will see that we have plenty of system maps and timetables available.” Realise that there is no need to wait for HEARTANDSOUL Phase 1 Complete.
Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 02 JUL 2012
“We hope we can count on your support in getting this proposal off the ground.” Determine whether Fargo, ND gets its due in See the USA From Your Sleeping Bay.
Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 25 JUN 2012
“In all, these branches would add more than 1,000 km to the total track distance.” See how it all happened on the 07:38 EDT from Boston in Feel the Need for Laziness.
Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL
MON 18 JUN 2012
“But how much do you know about this European Championship, and the thirteen that have been played previously?” Expect the inevitable question about Lev Yashin in Fastest Finger Fest: UEFA European Championship Edition.
Keywords: Community, Sport, Interactive, Game shows, Fastest Finger Fest, Football, UEFA
MON 11 JUN 2012
“Wait a minute, GoobNet. I never said that.” Determine your top backpedalling speed in The Earthican Chronicles.
MON 04 JUN 2012
“Who wants to go all the way over there for an ice hockey match? Or for anything, really?” Understand the allure of the Platinum Triangle in Ice Hockey’s Day in the Sun.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Ice hockey
MON 28 MAY 2012
“Yeah, why’s that weird? That’s normal toilet behaviour.” Discover whether Rosalind Franklin Dubois is in tune with your plumbing in The GoobNet SPEED Goes to Overtime.
MON 21 MAY 2012
“But sometimes, if you have three or six incorrect corners, you may not be able to get two of them into the right position.” See if your parking situation is as dire as others seem to think in Let’s Solve Your Cube Like a Human.
MON 14 MAY 2012
“If we need to explain to you why the Men’s World Cup is the greatest football tournament there is, this is probably not the website for you.” See what Jim Rome is burning about today in 41 to Watch.
MON 07 MAY 2012
“The ____ team has participated in every Rugby World Cup.” See if you should face your opponents as they do the ____ in Do Not Put It in a Four Ounce Bottle.
Keywords: Community, SHAGADELIC
MON 30 APR 2012
“However, this is too many logos for our taste; only the coat of arms should be used.” See why GoobNet is not presented by anybody in Euro 2012: Sensible and Silly.
Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, Sport uniforms
MON 23 APR 2012
“If it’s in the wrong place, who cares?” Keep an eye on the street signs in Let’s Solve Your Cube.
MON 16 APR 2012
“There may be room for improvement – but do we know what exactly needs to be improved?” Keep the number 25 in mind in Stump Edvard with Your Heart.
Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Football, Cardiology, Stump Edvard
MON 09 APR 2012
“Have your crazy upstairs neighbours turn off their secret dream transmission device, or at least ask them to change it to something besides the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network.” Explain why you had that one crazy dream about Reg, Amber Lynn, and a bottle of windshield wiper fluid in Summary of Now.
MON 02 APR 2012
“A robust discussion soon began on our many GoobNet media platforms.” Discover whether more hits were received on FaceGoobNet or GooglebNet Plus in Discussion on the MLS Historical Cup.
MON 26 MAR 2012
“Teams were seeded based upon their accomplishments during that season, with the Supporters Shield and MLS Cup counting the most.” Try to avoid overlooking the 1999 MetroStars in 2012 GoobNet MLS Historical Cup.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Football, MLS
MON 19 MAR 2012
“So apparently it takes a specific type of mind to join the SPEED.” Determine whether your synapses meet our lofty standards in Please Deposit Solutions for Everything Here.
Keywords: Variety
MON 12 MAR 2012
“Greece’s economic crisis is far and away the largest issue here.” Decide whether another GoobNet rescue package is sorely needed in Electing the Top Elections.
MON 05 MAR 2012
“Every match has a story, not just the ones with giant green tifos behind the goals.” See why you should leave your chainsaw at home in Counting Down to the Rhinos.
MON 27 FEB 2012
“If you are a fan of New England or Toronto, your excitement may vary.” Try not to get overly thrilled at Miguel Aceval in Fastest Finger Fest: MLS Edition.
Keywords: Community, Sport, Interactive, Fastest Finger Fest, Football, MLS
MON 20 FEB 2012
“And by the way, all you suckers who are wearing tin foil hats, those things totally don’t work.” Realise that we totally knew that you were thinking of the star, plus sign, and circle in Only Three Votes for Krypton.
Keywords: Community, Mailbox, Science fiction
MON 13 FEB 2012
“However, teams are not arranged into divisions; the competition is basically a free for all.” See why we have never before made use of the Curling keyword in World Curling Tour: ARRRGH!.
Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Curling
MON 06 FEB 2012
“Ironically, we can’t get the votes for it in the House.” See if the White House is willing to prepare a bedroom for us in Throw Your Head Into the Ring.
MON 30 JAN 2012
“But that was wrong.” See if we are capable of expressing remorse in Hyperspeed Dating: Benjamin, Franklin, and a Third?.
Keywords: Variety, Hyperspeed Dating
MON 23 JAN 2012
“How close can you come to a perfect score of 104?” See what is so special about rutherfordium in The GoobNet Periodic Table Challenge.
Keywords: Community, Interactive, Chemistry
MON 16 JAN 2012
“But I will agree that few other news presenters could successfully carry off cheetah print pants. With the possible exception of Al Roker, of course.” See how the discussion could possibly get any more exciting in Interaction: The Future of Space.
Keywords: Novelty, Space, Interaction
MON 09 JAN 2012
“To move them around, we just turn each face ninety degrees at a time. It’s that easy.” See if our approach is any different than putting the ball into the net in Let’s Talk About Cubes.
MON 02 JAN 2012
“But wait! There is some concern out there.” See why you should be freaking out about the Miami Heat in ARRRGH!ing with the NBA.
Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Basketball, NBA
PLEASE SEND ALL PUTRID FILTH TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2018 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: THU 06 DEC 2018 – 06:34:53 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.012 SECONDS
