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FULLY CONFIDENT IN CONFIDENCE

“Five conferences were selected for our team of prognosticators to prognosticate.” See what prognostications our prognosticators have prognosticated in Fully Confident in Confidence.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, American football, Prediction

THE END OF AMBIGUITY

“And if they think we’re going to equip them with helmets or flak jackets, they have another thing coming.” Pay close attention to all announcements from Wen’s office in The End of Ambiguity.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHAT THEN?

“Teams in Pot 1 and Pot 2 who had played one another in the seeding playoffs were allowed to be allocated to the same group.” Enable familiarity to breed contempt in Men’s World Cup Expansion: What Then?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO, SPECIFICALLY?

“Edvard would like it to be known that he in no way endorses this prediction and is not willing to play any part in the jinx that we have just applied to the Netherlands.” See into the future with Oranje tinted lenses in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who, Specifically?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

SOMETHING TO BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN OF

“The group phase began in June.” Be late to the party in Something to Be Absolutely Certain Of.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Prediction

FAR FROM UNLIKELY

“Eight European nations were selected randomly for our team of prognosticators.” See who is going to stop Aberystwyth Town [everyone] in Far from Unlikely.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

NOW ACQUIRING SCHWANK

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the results of the World Group of the 2011 Davis Cup, the 100th edition of the tournament, and of the World Group of the 2011 Fed Cup, the 49th edition.” Welcome a new keyword to the tie in Now Acquiring Schwank.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Tennis, Prediction

GOOD TRY, QATAR

“Although Warner suffers from a well known case of nepotism, it will not affect his vote here.” Obtain a prescription for Nepotaid in Good Try, Qatar.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Prediction, Football, Men’s World Cup, Australia, England, Japan, Korea Rep, Netherlands, Belgium, Qatar, Russia, Spain, Portugal, United States

ABUNDANTLY TRUE

“As further punishment, we will then deploy the Prawn Sandwich Brigade to Afghanistan.” See the world’s most élite fighting unit by looking somewhere other than Abundantly True.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

CLEAR TO EVERYONE WHO DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE

“And you don’t even want to know what we’re going to do to them if they fuck this one up too.” Cower in fear at the prospect of what actions we might take in Clear to Everyone Who Deserves a Second Chance.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

CLEAR TO EVERYONE

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the group and elimination phases of the 2009-10 UEFA Europa League [formerly the UEFA Cup].” See why Galatasaray are sure to be disappointed in Clear to Everyone.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

ÉSTEBAN COLBERTO CELEBRATES A ROUGE WITH KATIE PRICE’S BREASTS

“We recognise that many fans planning to attend the 2018 Super Bowl are having difficulty determining how to reach Nissan Stadium via train and are instead considering renting automobiles. We recommend against that and would advise fans staying in downtown Tokyo to either take the Yokohama- or Ōfuna-bound Keihin-Tōhoku Line to Higashi-Kanagawa and then change to the Hachiōji-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Atami-bound Tōkaidō Line [provided it is not a Commuter Rapid service] to Yokohama and then change to the Hachiōji-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Kurihama-bound Yokosuka Line to Yokohama and then change to the Hachiōji-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Takao- or Ōtsuki-bound Chūō Rapid Line to Hachiōji and then change to the Yokohama- or Ōfuna-bound Yokohama Line and get off at Kozukue, or take the Hiroshima-, Hakata-, or Shin-Osaka-bound Tōkaidō Shinkansen and get off at Shin-Yokohama [though note that Japan Rail Passes may not be used on Nozomi trains]. Naturally, these plans should be adjusted somewhat for those who are staying near stations other than Tokyo Station.” Become familiar with intercity rail options in the Greater Tokyo area in Ésteban Colberto Celebrates a Rouge with Katie Price’s Breasts.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, Prediction

WHOLLY EVIDENT

“We here at GoobNet are pleased to present to you this prediction of the teams’ final positions in several major European football leagues.” Enjoy the total accuracy and foreknowledge of the upcoming results of 26 different leagues in Wholly Evident.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

WHO WILL TAKE THE FLAGPOLE?

“If you have not yet heard Mons’s team nickname, afford yourself a giggle, and then contemplate their likely quarterfinal meeting with the Flagfinders.” View more proof that anatomy is always funny in Who Will Take the Flagpole?.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Flag capturing, FCU Champions League, Prediction

DUBAI REMAINS MOSTLY HARMLESS

“Philadelphia would have had reservations about scheduling these matches for the same weekend as the NFL’s conference championships, but luckily for all concerned, the Eagles will take a chance on Michael Vick in 2010 and will end up last in their division.” Enjoy our alternate sporting history in Dubai Remains Mostly Harmless.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England, Prediction

CERTAINTY

“If any of these groups do not end up in this order at the end of 2008, we will punish our team of prognosticators by making them officiate a match between Perivia and Panagura.” Ensure that you packed your sunscreen in Certainty.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

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