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WEEKLY WHINE >> 2014

... 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018

A FISHY REQUISITE

“Have you ever wondered what other people use for aftershave lotion?” Tax Raquel Welch in A Fishy Requisite.

Keywords: Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard

BEES

“In fact, so many things are happening that our coffee machine is broken.” Discover why you should have stuck with the hot chocolate in Bees.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

REVISITING THE BEGINNINGS

“We love those salmon kits, you Salmoners.” Embark on a search for a club called the Rainbow Trouts in Revisiting the Beginnings.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, England

CAN YOU BEAT THE DRAW?

“Most likely.” Determine just how likely a 3% probability really is in Can You Beat the Draw?.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Women’s World Cup, Interactive

THE MAILBOX

“Where am I gonna get a polymer matrix from?” Understand that this is one feature with which Pez dispensers are not equipped in The Mailbox.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox, Chemistry, Seinfeld

WAITING FOR THE BIG ONE

“Or is it the other way around?” Go about things wrong in Waiting for the Big One.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

SOLUTIONS FOR THE GAME

“FIFA still appears to believe that corruption is composed only of explicit bribery and quid pro quo deals.” Realise that you don’t want to know who is scratching Sepp Blatter’s back in Solutions for the Game.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, SPEED, Football

RESULTS OF 2014 US BALLOT MEASURES

“We here at GoobNet are obviously going to have to reassess whether we will continue to provide this service to you in future.” Influence Reg’s decision making process by fixing his Jump to Conclusions mat in Results of 2014 US Ballot Measures.

Keywords: Politics, Propaganda, Support, United States

GUIDE TO 2014 US BALLOT MEASURES

“GoobNet recommends a no vote and reminds the people of Rhode Island that they have a legislature.” Live in abject fear of the day that Mr Griffin goes to Providence in Guide to 2014 US Ballot Measures.

Keywords: Politics, Propaganda, Support, United States

FASTEST FINGER FEST: MISLEADING EDITION

“If not, allow us to tell you what you’re missing out on.” Allow us to tell you what you’re missing out on, which is a Fastest Finger Fest: Misleading Edition.

Keywords: Community, Interactive, Fastest Finger Fest

JOIN US IN KEEPING FEAR ALIVE

“They are obviously doing something right, considering that their reach is much greater than ours.” Find out why our FuchsiaZone channel is not coming in clearly in Join Us in Keeping Fear Alive.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

NUMERIC REVIEW OF LANDON

“Also, can you believe this?” Determine what the script is and who is writing it in Numeric Review of Landon.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, United States

IMPROVING UPON WORST

“You deserve better, and we are going to give you better.” Discover just how far we have to climb in Improving Upon Worst.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

DRAFTING HISTORY

“This would be a simple rule change that should be made immediately.” Bend everything to your will in Drafting History.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, MLS

EUROPEAN FOOTBALL: ARRRGH!

“That was probably a miscalculation on your part, but still, thanks.” Avoid making the same mistake that Jack Warner made in European Football: ARRRGH!.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, ARRRGH, Football, UEFA

GOOBNET SOLVES COPYRIGHTS

“This obviously has nothing to do with the stated purpose of copyright law, which is to encourage authors to create works and to make those works available to the public.” Realise that you really don’t want to know what encouraged us to create GoobNet in GoobNet Solves Copyrights.

Keywords: Propaganda, Novelty, Copyright, Use It or Lose It

GREEN AND FRIENDS

“Sleeve chevron party redux!” Realise that we are talking about Robert, not Julian, in Green and Friends.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England, Sport uniforms

ROLL THE RED CARPET AWAY

“We’d list some more examples, but then you’d just go and search for them, and you do not want to do that. Seriously.” Wish that we were merely Rickrolling you in Roll the Red Carpet Away.

Keywords: Variety, Award ceremonies

REDUCTION IN COMPLEXITY

“Back already? How was India?” Determine which of many head nods best applies to Reduction in Complexity.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

RENDEZVOUS WITH AND STUMP EDVARD

“So... you know... yaaaaay.” Make a judgment as to whether the Muppets sound wrong in Rendezvous With and Stump Edvard.

Keywords: Space, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard

INTERACTION: DECONSTRUCTING MIKE

“In fact, I’m shocked that more teams don’t have economics taught to their players in house.” Discover if anyone... anyone... wants to learn the importance of the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act in Interaction: Deconstructing Mike.

Keywords: Novelty, Sport, Interaction, Football, MLS

PLUS MAILLOTS

“And it will be fun to see whether riders will attempt to avoid scoring points in order to remain in contention for this classification.” Get shut out in Plus Maillots.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Cycling, Tour de France

ELEVEN GOALKEEPERS WITH IMMOBILE FROS

“You have not lived until you have heard Brazilian commentators try to pronounce ‘Schweinsteiger’.” Live in Eleven Goalkeepers with Immobile Fros.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee

YOU’RE WELCOME FOR YOUR WELCOME

“Actually, it was much more complicated and nuanced than that.” Deny all suggestion of shades of grey in You’re Welcome for Your Welcome.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

EVERYONE MUST GO

“This is further proof that you should not make decisions about impressiveness without hearing all the facts.” Explore what happened when the cookies hit the fan in Everyone Must Go.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup

AND DID THOSE TEETH

“You put it in their mouth.” Realise that we are not after all talking about Mr Pibb in And Did Those Teeth.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, Men’s World Cup

UNNECESSARILY DAMAGING

“We urge teams not to dress like goalkeepers, no matter how many jerseys they think they can sell.” Find out where Jorge Campos has gone in Unnecessarily Damaging.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, Men’s World Cup, Sport uniforms

HOW NOT TO MAKE THINGS WORSE

“We don’t want a repeat of last time.” Approach the world the way you approach Calvinball in How Not to Make Things Worse.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive

DECISIONS ARE BEING MADE RAPIDLY

“Telling people what is happening in the world and giving them context in order to help them understand things and make informed decisions is so 20th century.” Find out that we are late to the party in Decisions Are Being Made Rapidly.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

ADDING TO THE NETWORK

“Although there is such a thing as Bay Area Rapid Transit, it actually services an astonishingly small portion of the Bay Area.” See why Salinas never gets its due in Adding to the Network.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, High speed rail, HEARTANDSOUL

OUTWARD MOVEMENT

“Go back to your novels, Brucie.” Eagerly anticipate the publication of Holding Midfielder! in Outward Movement.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football

STRIKES

“But sport is not a capitalist society.” Come to the conclusion that everything you know is wrong in Strikes.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Novelty, Basketball, NBA

COME RIGHT IN, MAGIC

“Join us for a moment as we talk about sport.” Join us for a moment as we talk about sport, and then go away the next moment as we cease talking about sport, in Come Right In, Magic.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT

STUMP EDVARD ABOUT ANNE BRONTË

“Why didn’t anyone change it?” Determine that nobody could find the remote control in Stump Edvard About Anne Brontë.

Keywords: Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Literature

DO NOT PLACE IT BEYOND THE LINE

“Travelling is a fun, exciting, and educational thing that everyone should do.” See the Universe in your Chevroverse in Do Not Place It Beyond the Line.

Keywords: Community, SHAGADELIC

AS ALWAYS, GAUGUIN WAS CORRECT

“Also, those two announcements are completely unrelated.” Discover that there is nothing to see here in As Always, Gauguin Was Correct.

Keywords: Community, Mailbox, Tournament, History

2014 GOOBNET DECADE CHAMPIONSHIP

“This result also proves the precognitive capabilities of Amber Lynn, who submitted a bracket entitled ‘Never Go Against the Bikini’.” Discover something that MTV learned a long time ago in the 2014 GoobNet Decade Championship.

Keywords: Variety, Tournament, History

2014 GOOBNET DECADE CHAMPIONSHIP: SEEDINGS

“And he totally said something that made Warren laugh.” Find out what happens when a mutual fund, a derivative aggregation, and a maturing annuity walk into a bar in 2014 GoobNet Decade Championship: Seedings.

Keywords: Variety, Tournament, History

PUZZLES FOR YOUR DAY

“This week, we are not going to whine about anything.” Determine when a Weekly Whine is not a Weekly Whine in Puzzles for Your Day.

Keywords: Variety, Interactive

THE BIAS OF REALITY

“But what if you want to know what is really happening in the region?” Resign yourself to finding out only what Vladimir Putin wants you to know in The Bias of Reality.

Keywords: Politics, Support, SPLUT

THE NEED TO DEFUSE TENSIONS RAPIDLY

“You should congratulate yourself on correctly using the phrase ‘free rein’ instead of ‘free reign’.” Discover that it is inconceivable that that word does not mean what you think it means in The Need to Defuse Tensions Rapidly.

Keywords: Politics, Community, Mailbox, Ukraine

CHEETAHS, VIOLINS, AND SANDWICHES

“Yes, that is how international sport works.” Feel relieved that we don’t need to bring out the diagramme of Sepp Blatter’s brain in Cheetahs, Violins, and Sandwiches.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics, Review committee

PRESENTED BY LAZINESS

“Some people skate around in circles.” See who can get nowhere fast in Presented By Laziness.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: ROGER GOODELL

“Well, I was already going to do all that anyway.” Plan your participation correctly in Schmilblick Patrol: Roger Goodell.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, American football, NFL

THANK YOU FOR SACKING

“Got it!” Understand what the picture is telling you in Thank You for Sacking.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

REVISITING HALLOWEEN 2013

“Wait, so you get to go about in fancy dress, and your neighbours give you sweets? That sounds fantastic!” Discover that Guy Fawkes isn’t really all that exciting in Revisiting Halloween 2013.

Keywords: Variety, Halloween, Edvard, Debbie

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES FOR JAN 2014

Warning: Tournament may contain protests.” See why everyone hell no won’t go in Administrative Notes for JAN 2014.

Keywords: Support, Administrivia

QUESTIONS TO BE ADDRESSED

“At least, he would if you cared about people who are not you.” See what happens to people who make the dangerous mistake of not being you in Questions to Be Addressed.

Keywords: Support, SPLUT

THE MOMENT ARRIVES

“We are pleased to announce our first Meteor of the Year winner since 1987, when we recognised the meteor from Maniac Mansion.” Don’t be a tuna head in The Moment Arrives.

Keywords: Variety, Review committee

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