|71||Men’s World Cup|
|21||Women’s World Cup|
MON 05 JUN 2017
“Here at the GoobNet Satellite Programming Live Using Television network, we believe that when you use your television to view live satellite programming, the live programming you would like to see broadcast from satellites using your television includes such exciting things as runs, hits, errors, sculls, spikes, and stick checks.” Send in a large number of loud complaints about the lack of pistes in The Latest on the Earliest.
MON 29 MAY 2017
“The round of 16 begins tomorrow.” Feel immense relief that you do not have to sit through the round of 65,536 in Under 20 Managers Exist.
MON 22 MAY 2017
“A constant refrain in the health care debates is that the government should not have authority over who lives and who dies.” Discover that all signs point off the edge of the cliff because The Magic Eight Ball is Now Obsolete.
MON 15 MAY 2017
“Scientists, after all, have found that the Sun is a huge atom smashing machine.” Discover whether the Sun is visible in Istanbul or Constantinople in The Universe’s First Periodic Table Rankings.
MON 08 MAY 2017
“We here at GoobNet are naturally thrilled at their use of the arched capital N.” Demand that everything is rendered in small caps in Maintain Appearances on All Sides.
MON 01 MAY 2017
“Should I arrest them and torture them until they confess, or should I just put them in a cell until everyone forgets about them?” Realise that freedom isn’t free in Break the Internet and Stump Edvard.
MON 24 APR 2017
“On my plane? Oh, hell no!” Have it with these motherfucking television personalities on this motherfucking plane in Interaction: Why Are US Airlines So Shitty?.
MON 17 APR 2017
“You might ask whether this is legal.” You can go about your business and move along to All Sweeps All the Time.
MON 10 APR 2017
“It successfully entered Venusian orbit at the second go in 2015 using four attitude control thrusters.” If at first you don’t succeed, simply keep in mind that Earth Treats the Solar System with Dignity.
MON 03 APR 2017
“Use Secure Shell instead.” Load letter into your printer, not your PC, in All Interfaces Are Available.
MON 27 MAR 2017
“This will no doubt be spectacularly awesome and, as a bonus, will probably not destroy Earth.” Declare a Trump War, but first Say a Different Place.
MON 20 MAR 2017
“We suspect that many of the pundits in the dishonest media were confused by the premise of the tournament – we were looking for the thing that Donald J Trump is most afraid of, not what he should be most afraid of.” Discover which of these great fears was the most bigly tremendous in the 2017 GoobNet Fears of Donald J Trump Championship: Results.
MON 13 MAR 2017
“The seeding was a fairly straightforward process, during which things that Donald J Trump obviously does not fear were eliminated.” Erase “looking like a total creep” and “acting like a total creep” from your 2017 GoobNet Fears of Donald J Trump Championship: Brackets.
MON 06 MAR 2017
“Teams in Pot 1 and Pot 2 who had played one another in the seeding playoffs were allowed to be allocated to the same group.” Enable familiarity to breed contempt in Men’s World Cup Expansion: What Then?.
MON 27 FEB 2017
“Edvard would like it to be known that he in no way endorses this prediction and is not willing to play any part in the jinx that we have just applied to the Netherlands.” See into the future with Oranje tinted lenses in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who, Specifically?.
MON 20 FEB 2017
“This expansion has been approved, though, which means that short of Gianni Infantino being visited by the Ghosts of Men’s World Cups Past, Present, and Yet to Come, the 2026 Men’s World Cup will be a large, ungainly beast of 80 matches in 32 days.” Meet Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi, and Christian Pulisic in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who?.
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