WEEKLY WHINE
TOP KEYWORDS
373 | Sport |
307 | Variety |
246 | Support |
226 | Community |
212 | Football |
160 | Novelty |
111 | SPEED |
102 | Space |
93 | Mailbox |
73 | Interaction |
71 | Men’s World Cup |
69 | Interactive |
69 | Politics |
63 | Edvard |
62 | Propaganda |
58 | SPLUT |
49 | Computers |
47 | Knowledge |
45 | American football |
32 | Review committee |
31 | Mathematics |
30 | MLS |
30 | Stump Edvard |
30 | Tournament |
29 | Game shows |
29 | Schmilblick Patrol |
28 | Basketball |
25 | Prediction |
22 | United States |
21 | Focal Plane |
21 | Solar system |
21 | Women’s World Cup |
MON 01 OCT 2018
THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC ON THE SUBWAY
“Interchange to the Govan bus station.” Get off the bus in order that you may get on the train, but keep in mind that There Is No Need to Panic on the Subway.
Keywords: Variety, Transit
MON 27 AUG 2018
TOP LINES HEARD ON A CELL PHONE TELEPHONE
“Everyone out of the Universe!” All personnel must evacuate the Universe and report to the Mandatorium for the Top Lines Heard on a Cell Phone Telephone.
Keywords: Variety, Futurama
MON 13 AUG 2018
FULLY CONFIDENT IN CONFIDENCE
“Five conferences were selected for our team of prognosticators to prognosticate.” See what prognostications our prognosticators have prognosticated in Fully Confident in Confidence.
Keywords: Variety, Sport, American football, Prediction
MON 30 JUL 2018
TOP LINES AS RATED BY THE COOLOMETER
“I deserve this.” Gain familiarity with the type of thing you can see in the Top Lines As Rated By the Coolometer.
Keywords: Variety, Futurama
MON 23 JUL 2018
GET ON THE BUS, OR THE TRAIN, OR THE MONORAIL
“It would be expected to open concurrently with the automated train, currently planned for 2023 – which can’t come soon enough.” Depart for your departure in Get On the Bus, Or the Train, Or the Monorail.
Keywords: Variety, Transit
MON 16 JUL 2018
THE WRONGEST PENALTY IN THE HISTORY OF WRONGNESS
“In a tournament that set a record with twelve own goals, one of them in the final, how can we decide who receives the coveted Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award?” Take to the streets in outrage that your favoured candidate did not receive the Golden Blindfold in The Wrongest Penalty in the History of Wrongness.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup, Review committee
MON 09 JUL 2018
A BRIEF LOOK AHEAD
“The fact that this squad have not yet been brought down to Earth in horribly crushing fashion does not mean that it will not happen.” Watch the semifinals from your panic bunker in A Brief Look Ahead.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Men’s World Cup
MON 14 MAY 2018
TOP LINES THAT ARE 999,999 IN A MILLION
“Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl 17-9!” Save the good algebra for the final minutes of the Top Lines That Are 999,999 in a Million.
Keywords: Variety, Futurama
MON 23 APR 2018
OCEANS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE
“All known lifeforms require a nonzero amount of water, and the vast majority of Earth’s biodiversity is aquatic.” Live in hydrodynamic equilibrium with our planet in Oceans That Make a Difference.
Keywords: Variety, Oceanography
MON 26 MAR 2018
2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: RESULTS
“The tournament, as with the Paralympic Games themselves, was full of surprises.” Realise that your attention has not been directed to the right place, and overcompensate for this by directing your attention to the 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Results.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Winter Paralympics
MON 19 MAR 2018
2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: BRACKETS
“Fill in your bracket by clicking your preferred Paralympian in each pair.” Fill in your bracket by clicking your preferred Paralympian in each pair whilst avoiding the Whammy in 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Brackets.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Interactive, Winter Paralympics
MON 12 MAR 2018
2018 GOOBNET WOMEN’S WINTER PARALYMPIC CHAMPIONSHIP: SEEDINGS
“We are pleased to announce the seeds for the first GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship, determining the best female Paralympian of all time.” View the seeds for the first GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship in 2018 GoobNet Women’s Winter Paralympic Championship: Seedings.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Tournament, Winter Paralympics
MON 26 FEB 2018
DISTRACTION
“We hope these will help you through the next 3.96 years of being forgotten about again.” Do your best to retain the knowledge that curling is in fact a sport that exists, even in the face of constant Distraction.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics, Review committee
MON 05 FEB 2018
THE SUPER BOWL SWINGOMETER
“Well, that was an interesting Super Bowl.” Discover that we really do write these things months in advance and have no idea what actually happened yesterday in The Super Bowl Swingometer.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL
MON 15 JAN 2018
ICE AND FIRE, BUT NO SINGING
“There was no official logo, but there was a poster depicting a giant eagle attacking some bobsledders, or something.” Watch out for snakes in Ice and Fire, but No Singing.
Keywords: Sport, Variety, Winter Olympics
MON 01 JAN 2018
SILENCE BROKEN
“We would say that Earth is saying that enough is enough, but really, this is a case of Earth saying that way, way, way too much is enough.” Put your foot down in Silence Broken.
Keywords: Variety, Review committee
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