GoobNet

GoobNet menu

GoobNet

ENDLESS TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES BRING NEW AND BETTER PORN

WEEKLY WHINE

... 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: CHAMIQUE HOLDSCLAW

"And it says here you once taught a lamb to vomit on cue." Discover the benefits of the animal kingdom in Schmilblick Patrol: Chamique Holdsclaw.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Basketball, WNBA

44 IS TOO MANY

"After the fires are put out, Edu is sent off for setting an opponent alight." Learn to recognise pyrotechnic bookable offenses in 44 Is Too Many.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England

FROM THE TORCH TO THE GRILL

"The Vegas odds on who's appearing at the closing ceremony: Tetrahedron Guy 2:1, Octahedron Guy 4:1, Dodecahedron Guy 3:2, Icosahedron Guy 12:1." Bring ancient Greek culture into modern life in From the Torch to the Grill.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

INTERACTION: DOES YOUR DELEGATION FEEL SAFE?

"So, if you're concerned about whether you'll still be able to succeed as a cabdriver at the New York Games, all I can say is, Δαγκώστε το λαμπρό γάιδαρο μετάλλων μου." Start planning ahead for sporting events in odd locations in Interaction: Does Your Delegation Feel Safe?.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Interaction, Summer Olympics

AND IT WAS ACTUALLY ON TIME

"Disneyland called. They need their Animatronics back for Pirates of the Caribbean." Get confused about St Lucia's presence in And It Was Actually On Time.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

WHY NOT WHITE?

"We all agreed that this was the third most ill advised logo change in recent memory, behind the Houston Rockets' 'Sharky the Cartoon Rocket' and the Seattle SuperSonics' 'Big Old Block Letters That Went Out of Style Faster Than the Intel 486'." Loose the Queer Eye guys on professional sports in Why Not White?.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Novelty, Football, MLS

ONE STATE, TWO STATE, RED STATE, BLUE STATE

"It's unavoidable, like breathing." Find fast ways to do slow things in One State, Two State, Red State, Blue State.

Keywords: Politics, Community, Edvard

INTERACTION: CAN KNOWLEDGE BE DANGEROUS?

"Parents should not be allowed to choose the hair colour, height, or sexual orientation of their offspring!" Witness the triumph of nature over nurture in Interaction: Can Knowledge Be Dangerous?.

Keywords: Novelty, Interaction

WHERE TO FIND STUFF

"Really? I'm made of stuff too! How coincidental!" Find truth in falsity in Where to Find Stuff.

Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Solar system

GAGNÉ YA

"Is not possible 84 straight times, unless your name is Lou Piniella." Offer a demonstration of how the runner was safe in Gagné Ya.

Keywords: Support

THAT'S JUST NOT LIKELY

"My mom won't let me read GoobNet!" Make your PICS labels pay in That's Just Not Likely.

Keywords: Support, Tabloid

FOCAL PLANE: FROZEN FIGHT

"This may be the only competitive event anywhere in the world wherein the trophy presentation occurs in a hot tub." Enjoy hot water in Focal Plane: Frozen Fight.

Keywords: Novelty, Focal Plane, Extreme plumbing

BETTER GET USED TO IT

"You feel out of place." Make an attempt to adjust to new surroundings in Better Get Used to It.

Keywords: Sport, Support, Mixed Up Horoscopes, Football, UEFA

THAT'S WHAT WE'D LIKE TO SEE

"Actually, it doesn't matter what kind of sporting event it is. With John Tesh and John McEnroe announcing together, how can you go wrong?" Engage in a stimulating discussion over whether the ball was in in That's What We'd Like to See.

Keywords: Support, SPEED

KEEP YOUR PLANETS SAFE

"So you have to wait about 75 more synodic periods until the inferior conjunctions are at the node crossings again." Offer jargon-filled explanations of impatience in Keep Your Planets Safe.

Keywords: Space, Community, Mailbox, Solar system

LET THE TRUTH BE TOLD

"Dominica don't have any international quality pitches, so they're going to the Alamodome." Fail to find Vincenzo Del Negro on the squad lists in Let the Truth Be Told.

Keywords: Sport, Knowledge, Football, Men’s World Cup

PLEASE SEND ALL CONDESCENDING CORRECTIONS TO <GOOBNET‍@‍GOOBNET.NET>

© 2023 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]

THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: SAT 07 JAN 2023 – 22:19:44 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.017 SECONDS