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FILLING YOUR NON-SEQUITUR NEEDS SINCE 1997

WEEKLY WHINE

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MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO?

“This expansion has been approved, though, which means that short of Gianni Infantino being visited by the Ghosts of Men’s World Cups Past, Present, and Yet to Come, the 2026 Men’s World Cup will be a large, ungainly beast of 80 matches in 32 days.” Meet Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi, and Christian Pulisic in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who?.

Keywords: Support, SPEED, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHERE?

“In 2034, it will be the rest of the world’s turn.” Reward excellence in miscellany in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Where?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHY NOT?

“Let us turn our weakness into a strength.” Wear your Schwartz ring on the correct finger in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Why Not?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHY?

“Pay no attention to the teams who are playing for their tournament lives!” Feel the love in Slovenia in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Why?.

Keywords: Community, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Edvard

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: HOW?

“A Men’s World Cup made up of sixteen groups of three is not the worst thing they could possibly have done.” Form an exploratory committee to evaluate the impacts of changing to croquet in Men’s World Cup Expansion: How?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: SANDRA FRUEAN

“Why not just get a new television?” Upgrade your GoobNet experience in Schmilblick Patrol: Sandra Fruean.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football, Men’s World Cup

COOL JUG EARS, RACE ME

“Nerd Balm: Sport It!” See why we totally need Jim Parsons as the pitchman for Cool Jug Ears, Race Me.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Football, MLS

CHAMPIONS ALWAYS

“On Wednesday night, when the first leg of the final was to have been played in Medellín, candlelight vigils were instead held in Chapecoense’s stadium and in the home stadium of their final opponents, Atlético Nacional.” Go forward in all your beliefs, including the one that they are Champions Always.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Football, Brazil, Obituary

MAKE US SOCCER GREAT AGAIN

“I have never seen a birth certificate!” Realise that everything is sad, unfair, and sadly unfair, at least until we Make US Soccer Great Again.

Keywords: Sport, Politics, Variety, Football, United States

THE MOST UNLIKELY CHAMPIONS

“With José Mourinho back at the helm, the Blues were once again unstoppable.” Set sail on the good ship HMS Modesty in The Most Unlikely Champions.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England

THE WOMAN CARD IS IN FACT A YELLOW CARD

“This may look like an intractable problem, but in fact, it is totally tractable.” Compute your optimal hat trick speed in The Woman Card Is In Fact a Yellow Card.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, United States, Interactive

FEMALE FOOTBALLERS AND FUNDING

“These are the exact same things the male players do, and the female players are working just as hard at it.” Do the right thing in Female Footballers and Funding.

Keywords: Propaganda, Sport, Variety, Football

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: GIANNI INFANTINO

“Well, good luck with your chemicals, and keep disposing them properly.” Take care of yourself and your follicles in Schmilblick Patrol: Gianni Infantino.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football

LEAGUE CUP SPONSORS EXIST

“One must surely ask why league cups exist.” Identify things that should be on the FAQ list in League Cup Sponsors Exist.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Interactive

HELP THE 2016 MEN’S EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP

“But that’s totally not the same thing.” Enjoy equality without identicality as you Help the 2016 Men’s European Championship.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, UEFA, Interactive

A TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO SCOTLAND

“Way to go.” Agree with everything that Mr Goober says in A Triumphant Return to Scotland.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football, Scotland, Sport uniforms

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