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NO TWELVE HOUR TIME PERMITTED BEYOND THIS POINT

WEEKLY WHINE

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COOL JUG EARS, RACE ME

“Nerd Balm: Sport It!” See why we totally need Jim Parsons as the pitchman for Cool Jug Ears, Race Me.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, Football, MLS

MAKE US SOCCER GREAT AGAIN

“I have never seen a birth certificate!” Realise that everything is sad, unfair, and sadly unfair, at least until we Make US Soccer Great Again.

Keywords: Sport, Politics, Variety, Football, United States

RUSH FOR THE EXITS

“We’re not wearing anything ridiculous like that. Fuck off.” Tell Roger Goodell in which direction he may mark off the fifteen yards in Rush for the Exits.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL, Sport uniforms

I TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION

“And after that, it must figure out what it is going to do with Dilma Rousseff.” Discover a solution better than “change the colour of her diving pool” in I Take My Clothes Off in Your General Direction.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics, Review committee

GRABBING FOR THE RINGS

“Having ten boxing events for men, but only three for women, is an outrage.” See who has the will of the warrior in Grabbing for the Rings.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Summer Olympics

THE MOST UNLIKELY CHAMPIONS

“With José Mourinho back at the helm, the Blues were once again unstoppable.” Set sail on the good ship HMS Modesty in The Most Unlikely Champions.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England

FEMALE FOOTBALLERS AND FUNDING

“These are the exact same things the male players do, and the female players are working just as hard at it.” Do the right thing in Female Footballers and Funding.

Keywords: Propaganda, Sport, Variety, Football

DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIPS

“A good name for a division – just not this one.” Don’t divide by zero in Division Championships.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Ice hockey, NHL

GOOBNET WELCOMES YOU TO THE FOLLOWING PRESENTATION OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE

“This time slot is used only twice this year.” Find out how many more things can be made gold in GoobNet Welcomes You to the Following Presentation of the National Football League.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

SOMETHING TO BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN OF

“The group phase began in June.” Be late to the party in Something to Be Absolutely Certain Of.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Prediction

ENGAGE PARTY YEAR SELECTION MODE

“Well, you’re right.” Totally see that one coming in Engage Party Year Selection Mode.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Women’s World Cup, Review committee

ALL ANSWERS REVEALED

“That fact is brought to you by knowledge. Knowledge: It’s where you know stuff.” Give the false impression that you have even the barest understanding of the subject under discussion in All Answers Revealed.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Women’s World Cup

INSISTENCE

“Clearly, some teams have separated themselves from the pack.” Know who the pack is and why your distance from it should be kept to a minimum in Insistence.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, Women’s World Cup

WHEN THIRD IS FIRST

“It came from the 1990s, and there it should stay.” Avoid Rob van Winkle and discover When Third is First.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, England, Sport uniforms

A GAME IN WHICH THE KNEE FIGURED PROMINENTLY

“As it turned out, very few of the scoring plays were silly in any way.” Add a degree of difficulty with opaque face masks in A Game In Which the Knee Figured Prominently.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, American football, NFL

CARRY ON KICKING OFF

“Possessions were automatically terminated at the end of each quarter.” Understand the implications of Amontons’s Law in Carry On Kicking Off.

Keywords: Variety, Sport, American football, NFL

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