|71||Men’s World Cup|
|21||Women’s World Cup|
MON 27 AUG 2018
“Everyone out of the Universe!” All personnel must evacuate the Universe and report to the Mandatorium for the Top Lines Heard on a Cell Phone Telephone.
MON 20 AUG 2018
“Have you ever met a human who eats strange things?” Put down your quinoa and kale bar, pick up your calculator, and Compute the Probability of Stumping Edvard.
MON 13 AUG 2018
“Five conferences were selected for our team of prognosticators to prognosticate.” See what prognostications our prognosticators have prognosticated in Fully Confident in Confidence.
MON 06 AUG 2018
“They wanted to know how groundbreaking this was, and they wanted to know what other fruits would capture the audience’s attention even more.” Realise that you really wanted to know all about passionfruits in Ethical Standards Optional.
MON 30 JUL 2018
“I deserve this.” Gain familiarity with the type of thing you can see in the Top Lines As Rated By the Coolometer.
MON 23 JUL 2018
“It would be expected to open concurrently with the automated train, currently planned for 2023 – which can’t come soon enough.” Depart for your departure in Get On the Bus, Or the Train, Or the Monorail.
MON 16 JUL 2018
“In a tournament that set a record with twelve own goals, one of them in the final, how can we decide who receives the coveted Jeff Agoos ¡Autogolazo! Award?” Take to the streets in outrage that your favoured candidate did not receive the Golden Blindfold in The Wrongest Penalty in the History of Wrongness.
MON 09 JUL 2018
“The fact that this squad have not yet been brought down to Earth in horribly crushing fashion does not mean that it will not happen.” Watch the semifinals from your panic bunker in A Brief Look Ahead.
MON 02 JUL 2018
“What are we doing here?” Eagerly anticipate the spectacle of Luis Suárez answering the great questions of our time, which for all you know occurred on Interaction: Men’s World Cup Video Screens.
MON 25 JUN 2018
“Well, obviously, we here at GoobNet totally know the answer to that.” Experience immense regret at not having taken the blue pill in The Matrices.
MON 18 JUN 2018
“At the Men’s World Cup, each team has two kits.” Take the GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge in The GoobNet Men’s World Cup Change Kit Challenge.
MON 11 JUN 2018
“Some of the other unforgettable moments include Ethan Horvath’s acrobatic save of a Justin Kluivert header in the United States’ wild 5-4 loss to the Netherlands, the semifinal goal by Italy’s Jorginho that was disallowed after a tense fifty two minute video review, and the infamous press conference in which Robert Mancini denounced the corruption of the organisers of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup and announced that Italy were going to stage their own tournament, only to later conclude that both the tournament and the blackjack were to be discontinued, and, upon further reflection, so was the entire thing.” Realise that nothing is a complete load, not if you can imagine the Results of the Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.
MON 04 JUN 2018
“Employees watching the matches instead of getting shit done cause billions of dollars in lost productivity, but FIFA takes in billions of dollars on television rights and other merchandising, so it all works out.” Use your television to view satellite programming live in Men’s World Cup: Whatever Happened To....
MON 28 MAY 2018
“They have never been top flight champions.” Avoid yoyoing in Football League: Whatever Happened To....
MON 21 MAY 2018
“Luckily, we here at GoobNet do not limit ourselves to reality.” Reject our reality and substitute your own in Rush to Keep Trying.
PLEASE SEND ALL FIREWOOD TO <GOOBNET@GOOBNET.NET>
© 2019 GOOBNET ENTERPRISES, INC [WHICH DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST HOWEVER]
THIS FILE ACCURATE AS OF: FRI 15 NOV 2019 – 23:17:38 UTC · GENERATED IN 0.017 SECONDS