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WEEKLY WHINE

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MLS KITS EXIST

“Once you have all twelve correct, you will advance to our exciting new bonus round, Beat Don Garber.” Determine whether that totally was or totally was not endangering the safety of the opponent in MLS Kits Exist.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, MLS, Interactive

STUMP EDVARD WITHOUT PAYING TO PLAY

“I would also like to formally announce my endorsement of Wen’s description of my decision as a copout.” Stake your claim to “spineless wishy washy weaselling” in Stump Edvard Without Paying to Play.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Edvard, Stump Edvard, Football, United States

CALLING ALL PUNDITS

“The event featured speeches by the presidents of FIFA and of Russia, who are top contenders for the Corruption Cup.” Apply a sufficient quantity of palm grease in Calling All Pundits.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

PERFORM THE DRAW THROUGH A STRAW

“This week, the draw for the 2018 Men’s World Cup will decide who will play whom in Russia.” Refuse to trust Gianni Infantino in Perform the Draw Through a Straw.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Men’s World Cup, Interactive

THE BENDER B RODRIGUEZ BLACKJACK AND HOOKERS CUP

“Red totally counts as dark.” Realise that everything is 40% useless in The Bender B Rodriguez Blackjack and Hookers Cup.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

A DIRECT INJECTION OF SODIUM CHLORIDE INTO THE OPEN WOUND

“It was a crushing disappointment to finish a mere thirty points behind Germany.” Heap scorn upon Andy Selva in preparation for A Direct Injection of Sodium Chloride Into the Open Wound.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Mailbox, Football, Men’s World Cup, Reverse Mailbox

COMMENTS REGARDING RECENT RUMOURS

“GoobNet is not yet endorsing anyone for the presidency of the Royal Dutch Football Association.” Tell Reg to make up his damn mind already in Comments Regarding Recent Rumours.

Keywords: Sport, Support, Administrivia, Football, United States, Netherlands

THE GOOBNET SPEED HOWLS WITH INCANDESCENT RAGE

“i wanna vomit, punch klinsmann in the face, cry, and get my coaching license” Tomorrow is another match, but be forewarned that today The GoobNet SPEED Howls with Incandescent Rage.

Keywords: Sport, Propaganda, Support, SPEED, Football, Men’s World Cup, United States

THE END OF AMBIGUITY

“And if they think we’re going to equip them with helmets or flak jackets, they have another thing coming.” Pay close attention to all announcements from Wen’s office in The End of Ambiguity.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, UEFA, Prediction

ENHANCED SIMILARITY

“You don’t need to watch any highlights, or look at any photo galleries, or see any studio analysis that explains in detail how and why Mali held Morocco to a goalless draw when just four days earlier they had lost to the very same opponent 6-0.” Blame Prof Ogden Wernstrom for any Enhanced Similarity.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPLUT, Football, Men’s World Cup

SCHMILBLICK PATROL: JAÏR KARAM

“Hello.” Meet someone who can really make a difference in Schmilblick Patrol: Jaïr Karam.

Keywords: Sport, Novelty, Schmilblick Patrol, Football

THE FAIR WAY TO PLAY FAIR

“It has not actually written this definition; it has merely proposed that such a definition should exist.” Feel relieved that we are not discussing the word pornography in The Fair Way to Play Fair.

Keywords: Sport, Support, SPEED, Football

UNDER 20 MANAGERS EXIST

“The round of 16 begins tomorrow.” Feel immense relief that you do not have to sit through the round of 65,536 in Under 20 Managers Exist.

Keywords: Sport, Community, Football, Interactive

MAINTAIN APPEARANCES ON ALL SIDES

“We here at GoobNet are naturally thrilled at their use of the arched capital N.” Demand that everything is rendered in small caps in Maintain Appearances on All Sides.

Keywords: Sport, Variety, Football, United States, Canada

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHAT THEN?

“Teams in Pot 1 and Pot 2 who had played one another in the seeding playoffs were allowed to be allocated to the same group.” Enable familiarity to breed contempt in Men’s World Cup Expansion: What Then?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

MEN’S WORLD CUP EXPANSION: WHO, SPECIFICALLY?

“Edvard would like it to be known that he in no way endorses this prediction and is not willing to play any part in the jinx that we have just applied to the Netherlands.” See into the future with Oranje tinted lenses in Men’s World Cup Expansion: Who, Specifically?.

Keywords: Support, Sport, Football, Men’s World Cup, Prediction

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